The loss of a soul...
Well, i lost her. I was fighting with her, but FOR us. I was trying to work out all of the things that were wrong. They are always the same things. But, now she never wants to talk again. I fucked up for the final time. And, it hurts. A lot more than i thought it could ever hurt. I was pissed last night, and i went to a party. It was fun, but i was a jerk to everyone there...and i left about 4 this morning, and i got home...i dunno, i just sat here. I was feeling stupid, because before i left, i called her about 30 times. I was determined we were gonna work through it. But, she wanted to talk to someone else, so. I was the lesser of the two. We hadnt talked all day. We havent talked at all all week. And she wanted to call someone else. I guess i deserve it. I treat her like shit. I dont care the way i used to, well, showing it at least. it is so hard to, because all i can think about, is that i have always cared like that, and she broke up with me, so i must not care good enough. I know that is dumb...anyways. All i know, is i lost my first true friend last night, and it is 100% my fault...and now, the day after yesterday...i have to figure out a way to deal with it....this is killing me....