i dont understand

[bigbluedude]

so lately ive sorta been feeling crappy about my self. i dont know why i just have. i feel out of shape, the single is hitting hard again, and i dont seem to have the drive or confidence to do anything about this. i cant say why. but i have done a few things that should help me with this. ive finaly gotten new running shoes, all i need to do there now is actualy go running. ive sworn off alcohol and drugs of any kind, caffeen included, making for one grumpy graham. so i think that should help me a little. i plan on starting to go to the gym again next semester, maybe i can get a personal trainer to set up a routine for me so that i can gain some weight and strength. i know your all going to comment on how "youll find some one eventualy" so please don't, ive heard it enouph. so now that ive gone entirely emo on every one i am going to wait till my stomach has setteled and go for a run.
yay me