(no subject)
Subject: [Reuse] Life Preserver
Title: Life Preserver
Author:
UchihaNaruto
Fandom: Naruto
Warnings: Angst, Darkfic, character death.
Life Preserver
He doesn't bother counting the days since Naruto last visited his cell, breathing life into it, bringing light. Sometimes, the lack of oxygen is so overwhelming that he wonders if he's actually in his coffin, wasting away like a piece of art being thrown into a fire. It would make sense, after all. He hadn't had a bath or a breadcrumb in, perhaps, weeks, months, years - he can't be bothered to remember, anyway, because it all blurs together now like the blue of Naruto's eyes and the sky and how they both seemed to fade to shades of grey as the years passed.
He wonders if dying is supposed to feel like this. He wonders if the sky has finally, finally turned to black. He wonders why playing back regrets through his head is a greater life preserver than bread.
He wonders, how could have Naruto ever thought of him as a friend, and smiles.
- - -
The last time Naruto visited him, he had pretended to be asleep.
He always does.
He knows that Naruto will not step out of the shadows until he thinks his former teammate can’t see him. Whether Naruto wants to avoid an awkward situation, or for some other unknown reason, he doesn’t know, and would probably never know, since they had not spoken to each other since he was brought back to Konoha.
The blonde would just sit in front of the bars of the cell, staring at him with those big blue eyes. Even with his eyes shut, he can sense the intensity of Naruto’s gaze.
Shortly before dawn - before the guards bring his food, Naruto would slip out like a ghost. Only then does he open his eyes and wonder, yet again, as he does every time after the boy’s visits, just what exactly Naruto had come for.
- - -
Another day.
He listens to the two guards laughing as they make their way to his cell with his morning meal. They hate him, but all the emotion he can muster for them is a halfhearted scornfulness.
“Good day, traitor.”
He ignores them.
“We have miso soup for you today. Hope you like it.”
The door opens slightly and a wooden bowl is shoved carelessly into the cell. It tips over and all the soup splashes out onto the floor.
He stares dispassionately at the puddle of liquid and the upturned bowl.
“Oops. Too bad, traitor. No soup for you today.”
As their laughter and footsteps fade into the distance, he thinks that maybe he does hate them a little too.
- - -
“Tsunade-babachan! Please!”
“Naruto! You know I can’t!”
“You’re the Hokage! Of course you can!”
“Even Hokages have to follow the Council’s orders, brat! I can’t simply let a traitor walk out of jail, just like that!”
“Don’t call him that! He’s not a traitor! He just made a stupid mistake, that’s all!”
“Naruto, I can’t, do you understand? Even if I could, I wouldn’t. He’s too dangerous to be let free!”
“He’s not! I know he’s not! Babachan…please!”
“Naruto! I have enough problems with Orochimaru and the Akatsuki still at large! Now get out! This is an order from your Hokage!”
- - -
“Yes…dead…”
“But…healed very quickly?”
“…too serious…injuries…Hokage-sama… ”
He listens, uninterested, to the bits and pieces of the hushed conversation of his two guards as they approach. They look down at him, sitting with his knees hugged tightly to his chest, their eyes burning with contempt.
“Your master is dead,” one says grimly.
He perks up. Orochimaru is dead?
“You betrayed your own village, your comrades, your friends. You don’t deserve to live, traitor!”
The words do not hurt or anger him. Instead, he finds himself agreeing with them.
- - -
Hope surges through him when he hears quiet footsteps.
Naruto?
“Sasuke.”
No. Not Naruto. The spark in his eyes dims and a weak sneer twists his lips. Sakura stands outside the cell, looking like she is going to cry. She bites her lip and does not speak for a long time.
She has changed. He can feel that she has grown more powerful in his absence.
“Why did you come if you don’t want to talk?” he rasps out, his voice hoarse from disuse.
Is the question directed to her or to Naruto? He himself doesn’t know anymore.
She sighs and closes her eyes, and for the first time, he sees how tired and pale she looks. There are dark smudges under her eyes and she looks sad. So sad.
“I just…” she trails off, seeming frustrated at her inability to express herself. When she opens her eyes again, her green eyes are glinting coldly. “I just wanted to see the broken pieces that are left of us.”
She then leaves without saying another word, and he is left to wonder what she meant.
- - -
He dreams of Itachi and his parents sometimes.
Halfway between reality and sleep, he remembers the softness of his mother’s arms as they hold him, can almost see the pride in his father’s eyes when he finally learns the Katon, can almost hear Itachi’s voice calling him gently to wake up or he’d be late for school.
And then he does wake up to the four gray walls surrounding him.
He wonders. Would he be here, right now, in this cell, if Itachi had not killed their parents? Would history have been written differently?
Maybe. Probably. He thinks so.
All he has done ever since his brother slaughtered their family, their whole clan, has solely been to gain enough power to avenge them after all. And where has that power brought him?
Into a musty, filthy prison cell.
The irony of it all is enough to make him laugh hysterically.
- - -
“I heard you had a fight with the Hokage-sama this morning, Naruto.”
“She won’t listen to me!”
“Naruto. You’re being unreasonable.”
“Kakashi-sensei! You should understand! Sasuke is not dangerous!”
“Naruto. You are a Jounin and a member of the Anbu of Konoha. You should know better than most what the laws of our village say about traitors.”
“Sasuke is not a traitor! He’s not! Stop calling him that!”
“Orochimaru is out there, somewhere, in need of a new body. We cannot afford to let Sasuke go, Naruto.”
“Does that mean that if Orochimaru ceases to be a threat to Konoha, Sasuke can be released?”
- - -
“Yo, Uchiha.”
The Toad Hermit. Jiraiya.
“What do you want?” he asks dully. “I’ve already told the interrogation unit everything I know about Sound.”
“I’m not here about that, Uchiha.” Jiraiya leans against the wall facing the cell. The legendary Sannin looks older than he remembered.
“Then what do you want?”
“To ask you something. Did you…have you ever thought of the brat as a friend?”
The question comes so suddenly that he is stunned for a moment.
“Well? Have you?”
“Yes. He was my first and best friend. Do not doubt that.” The answer is forceful and firm.
Jiraiya nods curtly and gives him a crooked smile that does not reach his eyes. “The brat would have been glad to hear that.”
The Sannin turns to go.
“Jiraiya…sama. Where is the usuratonkachi?”
Jiraiya stops in his tracks, his shoulders tensing. He doesn’t turn around.
“Has he…has he given up on me?” There is a faint tremor in his voice, but Jiraiya pretends not to notice.
“Uchiha. You should know better than anyone else that the brat never gives up. Not even on lost cases.”
“Then why doesn’t he come to see me?”
This time, Jiraiya does not reply.
- - -
He stares up at the ceiling as he lies on his back on the cold stone floor.
Naruto…
Have you really given up on me?
You must have, right? You haven’t been to see me for such a long time…
The chilly draft makes him shudder in his thin cotton yukata. Funny how cold it can get in the prison even when it is the summer. He hugs himself and turns to his side in a foetal position.
Don’t give up on me, Naruto…please.
I don’t want to be given up on.
Don’t give up…
Don’t…
Naruto…
- - -
Naruto coughed up more blood as he dragged the corpse of Orochimaru behind him.
A few more steps…just a few more steps to his beloved Konoha.
The wound just above his heart where Orochimaru had pierced him with a poisoned katana reopened, red blood gushing out to drench Naruto’s Anbu uniform.
He gritted his teeth and ignored the pain.
A few more steps…
He could feel his own chakra dwindling. Soon it would burn out completely. He felt so tired. He fought to keep his eyes open, but the images in front of him were starting to blur.
The gates of Konoha loomed before him. He staggered towards them like a man stranded in the desert staggers towards an oasis.
The guards on duty were saying, shouting something to him, but his hearing ability had strangely been reduced to buzzing and a persistent ringing. He stood there dripping in a puddle of his own blood, watching the gates open, and he laughed a little breathlessly at how much it felt like reaching heaven.
His pain was too unbearable now. He fell to his knees, one hand still holding onto Orochimaru’s arm.
There were more people now. Surrounding him, shouting at him.
His vision was slowly fading to gray, then black.
Yes… sleep. He was so tired.
He smiled again before the tendrils of unconsciousness wove around him completely.
“Sasuke…”
- - -
Owari.
Author's Notes:
That wasn't too bad, was it? (laughs nervously) Please don't kill me!
Thank you,
disparue for the idea and the permission to butcher your story!
Title: Life Preserver
Author:
UchihaNaruto
Fandom: Naruto
Warnings: Angst, Darkfic, character death.
Life Preserver
He doesn't bother counting the days since Naruto last visited his cell, breathing life into it, bringing light. Sometimes, the lack of oxygen is so overwhelming that he wonders if he's actually in his coffin, wasting away like a piece of art being thrown into a fire. It would make sense, after all. He hadn't had a bath or a breadcrumb in, perhaps, weeks, months, years - he can't be bothered to remember, anyway, because it all blurs together now like the blue of Naruto's eyes and the sky and how they both seemed to fade to shades of grey as the years passed.
He wonders if dying is supposed to feel like this. He wonders if the sky has finally, finally turned to black. He wonders why playing back regrets through his head is a greater life preserver than bread.
He wonders, how could have Naruto ever thought of him as a friend, and smiles.
- - -
The last time Naruto visited him, he had pretended to be asleep.
He always does.
He knows that Naruto will not step out of the shadows until he thinks his former teammate can’t see him. Whether Naruto wants to avoid an awkward situation, or for some other unknown reason, he doesn’t know, and would probably never know, since they had not spoken to each other since he was brought back to Konoha.
The blonde would just sit in front of the bars of the cell, staring at him with those big blue eyes. Even with his eyes shut, he can sense the intensity of Naruto’s gaze.
Shortly before dawn - before the guards bring his food, Naruto would slip out like a ghost. Only then does he open his eyes and wonder, yet again, as he does every time after the boy’s visits, just what exactly Naruto had come for.
- - -
Another day.
He listens to the two guards laughing as they make their way to his cell with his morning meal. They hate him, but all the emotion he can muster for them is a halfhearted scornfulness.
“Good day, traitor.”
He ignores them.
“We have miso soup for you today. Hope you like it.”
The door opens slightly and a wooden bowl is shoved carelessly into the cell. It tips over and all the soup splashes out onto the floor.
He stares dispassionately at the puddle of liquid and the upturned bowl.
“Oops. Too bad, traitor. No soup for you today.”
As their laughter and footsteps fade into the distance, he thinks that maybe he does hate them a little too.
- - -
“Tsunade-babachan! Please!”
“Naruto! You know I can’t!”
“You’re the Hokage! Of course you can!”
“Even Hokages have to follow the Council’s orders, brat! I can’t simply let a traitor walk out of jail, just like that!”
“Don’t call him that! He’s not a traitor! He just made a stupid mistake, that’s all!”
“Naruto, I can’t, do you understand? Even if I could, I wouldn’t. He’s too dangerous to be let free!”
“He’s not! I know he’s not! Babachan…please!”
“Naruto! I have enough problems with Orochimaru and the Akatsuki still at large! Now get out! This is an order from your Hokage!”
- - -
“Yes…dead…”
“But…healed very quickly?”
“…too serious…injuries…Hokage-sama… ”
He listens, uninterested, to the bits and pieces of the hushed conversation of his two guards as they approach. They look down at him, sitting with his knees hugged tightly to his chest, their eyes burning with contempt.
“Your master is dead,” one says grimly.
He perks up. Orochimaru is dead?
“You betrayed your own village, your comrades, your friends. You don’t deserve to live, traitor!”
The words do not hurt or anger him. Instead, he finds himself agreeing with them.
- - -
Hope surges through him when he hears quiet footsteps.
Naruto?
“Sasuke.”
No. Not Naruto. The spark in his eyes dims and a weak sneer twists his lips. Sakura stands outside the cell, looking like she is going to cry. She bites her lip and does not speak for a long time.
She has changed. He can feel that she has grown more powerful in his absence.
“Why did you come if you don’t want to talk?” he rasps out, his voice hoarse from disuse.
Is the question directed to her or to Naruto? He himself doesn’t know anymore.
She sighs and closes her eyes, and for the first time, he sees how tired and pale she looks. There are dark smudges under her eyes and she looks sad. So sad.
“I just…” she trails off, seeming frustrated at her inability to express herself. When she opens her eyes again, her green eyes are glinting coldly. “I just wanted to see the broken pieces that are left of us.”
She then leaves without saying another word, and he is left to wonder what she meant.
- - -
He dreams of Itachi and his parents sometimes.
Halfway between reality and sleep, he remembers the softness of his mother’s arms as they hold him, can almost see the pride in his father’s eyes when he finally learns the Katon, can almost hear Itachi’s voice calling him gently to wake up or he’d be late for school.
And then he does wake up to the four gray walls surrounding him.
He wonders. Would he be here, right now, in this cell, if Itachi had not killed their parents? Would history have been written differently?
Maybe. Probably. He thinks so.
All he has done ever since his brother slaughtered their family, their whole clan, has solely been to gain enough power to avenge them after all. And where has that power brought him?
Into a musty, filthy prison cell.
The irony of it all is enough to make him laugh hysterically.
- - -
“I heard you had a fight with the Hokage-sama this morning, Naruto.”
“She won’t listen to me!”
“Naruto. You’re being unreasonable.”
“Kakashi-sensei! You should understand! Sasuke is not dangerous!”
“Naruto. You are a Jounin and a member of the Anbu of Konoha. You should know better than most what the laws of our village say about traitors.”
“Sasuke is not a traitor! He’s not! Stop calling him that!”
“Orochimaru is out there, somewhere, in need of a new body. We cannot afford to let Sasuke go, Naruto.”
“Does that mean that if Orochimaru ceases to be a threat to Konoha, Sasuke can be released?”
- - -
“Yo, Uchiha.”
The Toad Hermit. Jiraiya.
“What do you want?” he asks dully. “I’ve already told the interrogation unit everything I know about Sound.”
“I’m not here about that, Uchiha.” Jiraiya leans against the wall facing the cell. The legendary Sannin looks older than he remembered.
“Then what do you want?”
“To ask you something. Did you…have you ever thought of the brat as a friend?”
The question comes so suddenly that he is stunned for a moment.
“Well? Have you?”
“Yes. He was my first and best friend. Do not doubt that.” The answer is forceful and firm.
Jiraiya nods curtly and gives him a crooked smile that does not reach his eyes. “The brat would have been glad to hear that.”
The Sannin turns to go.
“Jiraiya…sama. Where is the usuratonkachi?”
Jiraiya stops in his tracks, his shoulders tensing. He doesn’t turn around.
“Has he…has he given up on me?” There is a faint tremor in his voice, but Jiraiya pretends not to notice.
“Uchiha. You should know better than anyone else that the brat never gives up. Not even on lost cases.”
“Then why doesn’t he come to see me?”
This time, Jiraiya does not reply.
- - -
He stares up at the ceiling as he lies on his back on the cold stone floor.
Naruto…
Have you really given up on me?
You must have, right? You haven’t been to see me for such a long time…
The chilly draft makes him shudder in his thin cotton yukata. Funny how cold it can get in the prison even when it is the summer. He hugs himself and turns to his side in a foetal position.
Don’t give up on me, Naruto…please.
I don’t want to be given up on.
Don’t give up…
Don’t…
Naruto…
- - -
Naruto coughed up more blood as he dragged the corpse of Orochimaru behind him.
A few more steps…just a few more steps to his beloved Konoha.
The wound just above his heart where Orochimaru had pierced him with a poisoned katana reopened, red blood gushing out to drench Naruto’s Anbu uniform.
He gritted his teeth and ignored the pain.
A few more steps…
He could feel his own chakra dwindling. Soon it would burn out completely. He felt so tired. He fought to keep his eyes open, but the images in front of him were starting to blur.
The gates of Konoha loomed before him. He staggered towards them like a man stranded in the desert staggers towards an oasis.
The guards on duty were saying, shouting something to him, but his hearing ability had strangely been reduced to buzzing and a persistent ringing. He stood there dripping in a puddle of his own blood, watching the gates open, and he laughed a little breathlessly at how much it felt like reaching heaven.
His pain was too unbearable now. He fell to his knees, one hand still holding onto Orochimaru’s arm.
There were more people now. Surrounding him, shouting at him.
His vision was slowly fading to gray, then black.
Yes… sleep. He was so tired.
He smiled again before the tendrils of unconsciousness wove around him completely.
“Sasuke…”
- - -
Owari.
Author's Notes:
That wasn't too bad, was it? (laughs nervously) Please don't kill me!
Thank you,
disparue for the idea and the permission to butcher your story!