twisted thoughts can be mended, but why bother
You know how I said at the beginning of the semester that no one was to speak of graduation around me, well I changed my mind. I cannot wait to get out of here. I am not that excited of living at home and not being around my friends all the time, but I am looking forward to moving on with my life. I need a change, desperately. I am depressed a lot of the time, because I am tired of the same old boring routine. I am tired of going to class, taking tests, writing papers, even going out all the time is getting old, its the same places with the same people. I am tired of the way I feel about myself, that it is impossible for me to have a close relationship with a guy, and how I have been a bitch to someone lately because I am really jealous of what she has (even though they are really annoying when he sleeps over and they constantly wake me up).
I really needed to get off of campus. Going home Thursday was good, seeing Brad, Kira and my mom. Thursday night was awesome! Mothers of Rock was so good, and I had a great time out at the bars and at Sarah's suite! I miss all you people I saw and still miss those I didn't get to see. Granted I got no sleep, I went home again Friday to try to sleep, but didn't really sleep, and was in my apartment for 2 seconds before I had to be at work, which as much as I complain about work I am lucky to be making what I do there for doing so little.
I have been feeling the need to be alone lately. I don't really want to be alone, but I need space from the people I live with. Three years is a long time to live with one person (who is not a significant other). I like my space. I like the apartment clean, something no one else who lives here seems to care about. I am the only one that consistently does the dishes and cleans and it is really pissing me off. I told Faith last night that I don't like it when Tim sleeps over all the time, so she said they won't do it again and then kind of ignored me the rest of the night, then went to Tim's. She came back today, said hi, got in the shower, then I showered and when I got out she brushed by me saying bye and has been gone for hours now. I think she's mad at me.
I cannot wait for spring break! We're going to Panama City Beach, Florida again! FLying into Orlando actually then driving to Panama (cheapest thing). I can't wait to see Hannes and the twins and the Ohio boys. I can't wait to be in a different place, to not be in NH. And I really do want to graduate. I am taking my internship in the summer, I should start looking into where I want to go, though there is a meeting about it when I get back from SB.
I want to hang out with Trino, Janelle, my Twin, Tessa, Bougetto, all the old school Siggies... I miss them. The sorority just isn't the same as it used to be.
I am cutting my hair on Wednesday. I think I am going to cut a lot off.
Welp, it's a nice day, I think I am going to go to Kittery. I was waiting for Faith to get back from whereever since I know she wanted to go, but I don't want to wait around, I need to do stuff!
sex toy party tonight!!
I really needed to get off of campus. Going home Thursday was good, seeing Brad, Kira and my mom. Thursday night was awesome! Mothers of Rock was so good, and I had a great time out at the bars and at Sarah's suite! I miss all you people I saw and still miss those I didn't get to see. Granted I got no sleep, I went home again Friday to try to sleep, but didn't really sleep, and was in my apartment for 2 seconds before I had to be at work, which as much as I complain about work I am lucky to be making what I do there for doing so little.
I have been feeling the need to be alone lately. I don't really want to be alone, but I need space from the people I live with. Three years is a long time to live with one person (who is not a significant other). I like my space. I like the apartment clean, something no one else who lives here seems to care about. I am the only one that consistently does the dishes and cleans and it is really pissing me off. I told Faith last night that I don't like it when Tim sleeps over all the time, so she said they won't do it again and then kind of ignored me the rest of the night, then went to Tim's. She came back today, said hi, got in the shower, then I showered and when I got out she brushed by me saying bye and has been gone for hours now. I think she's mad at me.
I cannot wait for spring break! We're going to Panama City Beach, Florida again! FLying into Orlando actually then driving to Panama (cheapest thing). I can't wait to see Hannes and the twins and the Ohio boys. I can't wait to be in a different place, to not be in NH. And I really do want to graduate. I am taking my internship in the summer, I should start looking into where I want to go, though there is a meeting about it when I get back from SB.
I want to hang out with Trino, Janelle, my Twin, Tessa, Bougetto, all the old school Siggies... I miss them. The sorority just isn't the same as it used to be.
I am cutting my hair on Wednesday. I think I am going to cut a lot off.
Welp, it's a nice day, I think I am going to go to Kittery. I was waiting for Faith to get back from whereever since I know she wanted to go, but I don't want to wait around, I need to do stuff!
sex toy party tonight!!