im lost and confused

[bigbenjammen]

so i guess i dont know whats going on anymore. so life keeps repeating itself for me. everything gets better then goes back to shit. everything. i start getting everything done im so close to getting off probation. so close yet so far away. i think i know whats going on at the resturaunt then it changes. im glad soong is back. that guy is aweasome. chee is home for baby leave. so its me and him. and well i guess im becomeing a chinese cook hard core3 now. were going back to chinese i thin im not sure. eaither that or i go do my own thing not sure. and well the girl situation deffenetly reapeated itself. I mean i really am not looking for a relationship but it found me. obviously i was in the wrong in my last realationship, but i was not told till it was to late. but im over that now, way the fuck over that. i still care about her but not the same way. she no longer is the person i wait up for that two minute call anymore. i may be a wall that does not express its feelings, but hey even a walls give upj and crumple down. i really thought i would say fuck girls not like in a gay way i mean just yeah one nighter thing. but yea im an emo kid so i cant. i love the hell i put my self through. thats the only thing i can think of. but yeah now lindse you cant help but like that girl she is amazing always happy, always tries to make me happy. even though were not dateing she wont fool around with anyone else. she has had the chance but wont do it. i know she is like three years younger than me but i tell you what she does nto act like she is 17. and i dont act like i am 20. but yeah anyways. she is moving in two months. then im left again alone and it will be just me and levi again. good guy that levi could not ask for a better friend. i mean he is the only one who still talks to me. i guess i did something real wrong to everyone but you know what i dont care. fuck you all.

on a lighter note alkaline trio`s cd comes out today go get it its amazing i have had it for about a month thank you levi <3