[One-shot] My Love
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst? (Dunno, it's just sad I guess.)
Pairing: Toobin
Note: I'm not really a fan of WonderBang, I just needed a female character. Hope this is allowed.
"I'm so sorry," I told Yoobin while holding her hand across the table.
She lifts her bowed head and looks at me. She squeezes my hand and smiles, "I understand."
We finish our food without saying a word to each other.
The remorse I felt was more than what I had expected. I wanted her to shout how unfair I was being. I wanted her to tell me that she did not deserve all the hurt I was causing her. I wanted her to wish me dead... so leaving her would be easier for me. I would've even welcomed a slap on the face.
But I had no such luck. She was a real lady through out the entire dinner. Even when I told her that it was over between us. I witnessed the pain that her eyes revealed. Yet, she sincerely hoped for my happiness. The happiness I cruelly denied her.
She opted to take a taxicab when we got out of the restaurant. But I insisted on taking her home. It was the very least that I could do for her. The last good thing I can do for her; for everything, she's done and given me.
Inside the car, Yoobin just stares out the window. I asked if she wanted to listen to the radio. She merely nods and doesn't look at me.
I clear my throat. "Yoobin... I--"
She cuts me off and lays a hand on my shoulder. "Seunghyun, you don't have to explain anything."
Did she really love me this much? I had trampled upon and crushed her heart till there was none left. Nevertheless, she received everything I threw at her with composure. She did not demand that I justify my decision. She simply acknowledged and accepted it, as it is. No questions asked.
We stop at a red light. I take Yoobin's hand into mine and kiss it. "Thank you."
She was trying her best to conceal the sorrow that her eyes solemnly expressed. But I could tell that she was fighting back the tears that were close to streaming down her face. I let go of her hand and she goes back to stare out the window.
I glance at her from time to time while driving quietly. I love Yoobin with my whole heart and soul. Sometimes, I even get scared of the intensity of my feelings for her. I wouldn't be able to live without her in my life. But this was something that I had to do for myself.
I had to know for certain if she was the one for me. I had to make sure if my love for her was strong enough to last a lifetime, our lifetime. I had to ascertain that I would never falter with my emotions… before I asked for her hand in marriage.
It was Midsummer Eve when I was introduced to Yoobin. Her long black hair, with streaks of dark-brown, glistened as the flame of the bonfire blazed. Her sleepy eyes that became threadlike slits when she smiled endeared her even more to me. Her baby-like lips that I wanted to touch lightly with mine. And her hearty laughter that resonated around the trees encircling us. It was love at first sight for me.
She was the most delightful person I've ever met. Everybody that knew her couldn't help but be enchanted with her warmth and kindness. I considered myself the luckiest man alive when she had agreed to be my girlfriend. All our time together were filled with joy.
We were crossing the bridge that led to the main road in front of her apartment when an ambulance went past us. I signal to make a right turn and wait for the street to be free of cars. I look at Yoobin again before proceeding with the veering of the steering wheel. I make the turn at the corner.
Suddenly, I hear a thunderous horn. I take a quick look at my window and was blinded by flashing daylight. An earsplitting crash. An outsized truck slammed on my car and left us flying off into the corner building. The next thing I knew, I was hanging by my seat belt and was staring at Yoobin's bloodied face.
Meters and meters of tubes were sticking out of Yoobin's body. Her breathing was showed in material form by the rising and dropping of the respirator next to her hospital bed. It broke my heart to see her life beeping and flashing in the electrocardiogram machine.
I sit on the chair positioned near the foot of her bed. I did not bother with my own cuts and bruises. Yoobin was more important than me. She is my reason for breathing. I close my eyes and pray overpoweringly to all the saints I know.
Please… don't take her away from me. I need her. I love her. I can't live without her. She is my whole world. I would give up everything for her... even my life.
A flash of white light entered the room when the door was opened. It was Yoobin's family. I couldn't look at them. Their grief had enveloped the entire room. I wanted to say sorry but I knew it was my fault, and my apologies would change nothing. I remain muted on the chair.
It was raining on the day of the funeral. I hid behind the trees where I could see everyone but no one would notice me. Everybody was wearing black. My parents, who stood next to Yoobin's mother and father, also paid their respects.
When everyone had left, I approached Yoobin's grave. A lone figure had stayed by the tombstone. It was her, Yoobin. I froze on my steps. She was looking straight at me.
"Why oppa? Why?!" She was lamenting.
I yearned to hold her in my arms but fear got the best of me.
It's been weeks since Yoobin's death. My parents let me mourn inside my room. I haven't stepped out of here since the funeral.
Life goes on... but not for me. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I have become a phantom. My features never appeared so ghoulish before. I died on the same day that Yoobin was buried.
I will never forgive myself for what happened. I killed the most precious person in my life. Worst of all, I ripped her heart to a million pieces before killing her. It's no wonder that her spirit haunts my every waking day and quiescent night.
If only I came clean with my true intentions. Maybe this tragedy wouldn't have happened.
I am awakened by whimpers. Yoobin was sitting on my bed. Her quivering hands covered her weeping face.
She spoke in between her sobs. "Oppa, I want you to move on."
She had always been very understanding and selfless. But now, she's asking too much of me. I can't. I could never move on... now that she is gone. I was prepared to live my life as the walking dead.
I walk in the direction of my bedside table. I pull open the drawer.
Yoobin stood up and peered inside the drawer. She takes a small velvet box in her hands and sits back on the bed. Her hands began to shake again as she opened the little black velvet box.
I had bought the ring a week before I broke up with her. I would've given it to her after I had sorted out my personal issues.
I had wanted God to witness my undying promise of devotion. And for him to bless our endless love for each other.
But it was all too late. I could never turn back the hands of time.
I come within reach of the sobbing Yoobin to hold her close. I missed her. My entire body longed for her. My heart ached to touch her. I've become so desperate that even her apparition would be an indulgence.
I extend both arms to enfold her. But to my surprise... it passes through her flesh.
Then I remember that damp day on the cemetery, when Yoobin's despondent form halted my steps toward the grave.
The epitaph had read: CHOI SEUNGHYUN.
***
My first post here. This is actually a very old fic, written a long time ago. The title was based on FTTS' song, My Love (English Lyrics | Track #11)
Genre: Angst? (Dunno, it's just sad I guess.)
Pairing: Toobin
Note: I'm not really a fan of WonderBang, I just needed a female character. Hope this is allowed.
"I'm so sorry," I told Yoobin while holding her hand across the table.
She lifts her bowed head and looks at me. She squeezes my hand and smiles, "I understand."
We finish our food without saying a word to each other.
The remorse I felt was more than what I had expected. I wanted her to shout how unfair I was being. I wanted her to tell me that she did not deserve all the hurt I was causing her. I wanted her to wish me dead... so leaving her would be easier for me. I would've even welcomed a slap on the face.
But I had no such luck. She was a real lady through out the entire dinner. Even when I told her that it was over between us. I witnessed the pain that her eyes revealed. Yet, she sincerely hoped for my happiness. The happiness I cruelly denied her.
She opted to take a taxicab when we got out of the restaurant. But I insisted on taking her home. It was the very least that I could do for her. The last good thing I can do for her; for everything, she's done and given me.
Inside the car, Yoobin just stares out the window. I asked if she wanted to listen to the radio. She merely nods and doesn't look at me.
I clear my throat. "Yoobin... I--"
She cuts me off and lays a hand on my shoulder. "Seunghyun, you don't have to explain anything."
Did she really love me this much? I had trampled upon and crushed her heart till there was none left. Nevertheless, she received everything I threw at her with composure. She did not demand that I justify my decision. She simply acknowledged and accepted it, as it is. No questions asked.
We stop at a red light. I take Yoobin's hand into mine and kiss it. "Thank you."
She was trying her best to conceal the sorrow that her eyes solemnly expressed. But I could tell that she was fighting back the tears that were close to streaming down her face. I let go of her hand and she goes back to stare out the window.
I glance at her from time to time while driving quietly. I love Yoobin with my whole heart and soul. Sometimes, I even get scared of the intensity of my feelings for her. I wouldn't be able to live without her in my life. But this was something that I had to do for myself.
I had to know for certain if she was the one for me. I had to make sure if my love for her was strong enough to last a lifetime, our lifetime. I had to ascertain that I would never falter with my emotions… before I asked for her hand in marriage.
It was Midsummer Eve when I was introduced to Yoobin. Her long black hair, with streaks of dark-brown, glistened as the flame of the bonfire blazed. Her sleepy eyes that became threadlike slits when she smiled endeared her even more to me. Her baby-like lips that I wanted to touch lightly with mine. And her hearty laughter that resonated around the trees encircling us. It was love at first sight for me.
She was the most delightful person I've ever met. Everybody that knew her couldn't help but be enchanted with her warmth and kindness. I considered myself the luckiest man alive when she had agreed to be my girlfriend. All our time together were filled with joy.
We were crossing the bridge that led to the main road in front of her apartment when an ambulance went past us. I signal to make a right turn and wait for the street to be free of cars. I look at Yoobin again before proceeding with the veering of the steering wheel. I make the turn at the corner.
Suddenly, I hear a thunderous horn. I take a quick look at my window and was blinded by flashing daylight. An earsplitting crash. An outsized truck slammed on my car and left us flying off into the corner building. The next thing I knew, I was hanging by my seat belt and was staring at Yoobin's bloodied face.
Meters and meters of tubes were sticking out of Yoobin's body. Her breathing was showed in material form by the rising and dropping of the respirator next to her hospital bed. It broke my heart to see her life beeping and flashing in the electrocardiogram machine.
I sit on the chair positioned near the foot of her bed. I did not bother with my own cuts and bruises. Yoobin was more important than me. She is my reason for breathing. I close my eyes and pray overpoweringly to all the saints I know.
Please… don't take her away from me. I need her. I love her. I can't live without her. She is my whole world. I would give up everything for her... even my life.
A flash of white light entered the room when the door was opened. It was Yoobin's family. I couldn't look at them. Their grief had enveloped the entire room. I wanted to say sorry but I knew it was my fault, and my apologies would change nothing. I remain muted on the chair.
It was raining on the day of the funeral. I hid behind the trees where I could see everyone but no one would notice me. Everybody was wearing black. My parents, who stood next to Yoobin's mother and father, also paid their respects.
When everyone had left, I approached Yoobin's grave. A lone figure had stayed by the tombstone. It was her, Yoobin. I froze on my steps. She was looking straight at me.
"Why oppa? Why?!" She was lamenting.
I yearned to hold her in my arms but fear got the best of me.
It's been weeks since Yoobin's death. My parents let me mourn inside my room. I haven't stepped out of here since the funeral.
Life goes on... but not for me. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I have become a phantom. My features never appeared so ghoulish before. I died on the same day that Yoobin was buried.
I will never forgive myself for what happened. I killed the most precious person in my life. Worst of all, I ripped her heart to a million pieces before killing her. It's no wonder that her spirit haunts my every waking day and quiescent night.
If only I came clean with my true intentions. Maybe this tragedy wouldn't have happened.
I am awakened by whimpers. Yoobin was sitting on my bed. Her quivering hands covered her weeping face.
She spoke in between her sobs. "Oppa, I want you to move on."
She had always been very understanding and selfless. But now, she's asking too much of me. I can't. I could never move on... now that she is gone. I was prepared to live my life as the walking dead.
I walk in the direction of my bedside table. I pull open the drawer.
Yoobin stood up and peered inside the drawer. She takes a small velvet box in her hands and sits back on the bed. Her hands began to shake again as she opened the little black velvet box.
I had bought the ring a week before I broke up with her. I would've given it to her after I had sorted out my personal issues.
I had wanted God to witness my undying promise of devotion. And for him to bless our endless love for each other.
But it was all too late. I could never turn back the hands of time.
I come within reach of the sobbing Yoobin to hold her close. I missed her. My entire body longed for her. My heart ached to touch her. I've become so desperate that even her apparition would be an indulgence.
I extend both arms to enfold her. But to my surprise... it passes through her flesh.
Then I remember that damp day on the cemetery, when Yoobin's despondent form halted my steps toward the grave.
The epitaph had read: CHOI SEUNGHYUN.
***
My first post here. This is actually a very old fic, written a long time ago. The title was based on FTTS' song, My Love (English Lyrics | Track #11)