Red Tape: Or, Why i hate America.
Yesterday was a parade of fail.
The Adventure begins at Dearborn city hall where i'm going to get my birth certificate.
We immedieately have to leave because they only take cash. So we drive around till we find a 7-11 and get out 5$.
We go back, and the bullshit begins. As far as Identification goes, i have these:
Social security card, tax forms from last year, letters from the treasury department, my lease agreement, pay stubs, my court paper work, my permit, and my hospital issued certificate of birth.
The lady tells me she can't release my birth certificate because i don't have valid photo id, or my voters registration card, or an armed forces card, or an employment card (lol what?). At this point i immediately flip my shit. "Lady, i'm here because Secretary of State sent me here to get my birth certificate so i CAN GET photo ID." blah blah blah she shows me some papers with the requirments, as if i don't understand the situation. "Look, i need to get my photo ID today because i have to start drug testing next week, and if i violate probation i'm going to jail." Then she starts asking me if my mother is around (while simultaneously looking at laura), and i'm like, this is NOT my mother.
Blah blah blah she won't release my birth cetifcate to me, she'll release it to my mom. Laura pulls me away from the desk and gets me to call my mom.
So, if my parents were dead, what the fuck would i do?
Laura makes a comment which becomes the mantra of the day "You can't get an ID without a birth certificate, and you can't get a birth certificate without an ID."
We go get my mom. Everything's cool. The lady at the counter is like "AREN'T MOMS THE BEST YUK YUK". No lady, i'm not going to smile and nod, you've done nothing but inconvenient me and my party, and now i hate the system even more.
We drop off my mom, go to secretary of state. Secretary of state is packed. I get checked in and my paperwork gets verified and i get my number and sit down. I'm in a better mood, things are working finally. A real awkward teenage girl comes in (you know, unkept hair and jeans up past her belly button) and sits in front of us, i figure she's there for a learner's permit or something. Her dad comes and sits next to her and starts smoking in the building. He's got an electronic cigarette, laura and I immediately start talking to him about how badass that is and all of our smoking habits. We talk for awhile, we talk about our ordeal at secretary of state and how frustrated we were when suddenly his daughter perks up and says something along the lines of "READ FAN FICTION!" I burst out in laughter. We start talking about anime now, she watches the typical weeaboo shit i've never heard of. Laura tells her about youmacon coming in november, her dad now is like faking being pissed off cause he semi knows his daughter is a weeaboo faggot but loves her anyways.
Anyways, laura stays seated while i get called up. I get the cool black lady (as opposed to the shitty black lady), she goes over my paper work, everything is cool, she says she just needs the manager to sign off on something. Then the tall dyke looking head of the State comes over, starts rifling through my papers and says i can't be verified because the leasing office doesn't have there phone number listed on my lease agreement. I immediately flip my shit. I start showing her my pile of paperwork that proves who i am, then i do the smart thing, LAURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Laura comes over, and we negotiate that if i can get my leasing office phone number ASAP we'll be good. Laura calls mary and gets it. Everythings cool. The lady messes up my paper work once (she forgot the III in my name). She redoes it all. Then she messes up swiping the debt card twice. Then i walk over to take my picture, the camera flashes and then turns off. Laura starts joking about how i broke the camera. I'm ugly har har. It takes her like 10 minutes to fix the camera, she takes the picture, asks me if i want another one, i say "no, i'm not going to get any prettier". We get a few receipts and leave.
Time spent at Secretary of State - 2 hours.
Total time spent that day trying to get an ID - 3.5 hours
Number of Valid photo ID's i have now - 0 (I have to wait for it in the mail still).
So i'm not sure what i'm going to do for the drug test. Just take my mountain of paperwork, and the secretary of state recpiet, and my old school ID's, and my old license if i can find it. Hope for the best.
----
In other news. The only thing that would make me feel better after all of that was egg rolls. So we got chinese for dinner. Joey went to bed early and laura and I ate chinese food until we were near comatose. So it wasn't to bad.
Joey says thank you in chinese.
He also hid my phone this morning while i was sleeping. I tried finding a free VOIP service to no avail. Gordon ended up calling me.
That's about it for now. I have a few applications to fill out, but right now, i still haven't gotten any call backs from anywhere. Shit's getting real tight. I'm hoping that changes ASAP.
Game day tomorrow.
The Adventure begins at Dearborn city hall where i'm going to get my birth certificate.
We immedieately have to leave because they only take cash. So we drive around till we find a 7-11 and get out 5$.
We go back, and the bullshit begins. As far as Identification goes, i have these:
Social security card, tax forms from last year, letters from the treasury department, my lease agreement, pay stubs, my court paper work, my permit, and my hospital issued certificate of birth.
The lady tells me she can't release my birth certificate because i don't have valid photo id, or my voters registration card, or an armed forces card, or an employment card (lol what?). At this point i immediately flip my shit. "Lady, i'm here because Secretary of State sent me here to get my birth certificate so i CAN GET photo ID." blah blah blah she shows me some papers with the requirments, as if i don't understand the situation. "Look, i need to get my photo ID today because i have to start drug testing next week, and if i violate probation i'm going to jail." Then she starts asking me if my mother is around (while simultaneously looking at laura), and i'm like, this is NOT my mother.
Blah blah blah she won't release my birth cetifcate to me, she'll release it to my mom. Laura pulls me away from the desk and gets me to call my mom.
So, if my parents were dead, what the fuck would i do?
Laura makes a comment which becomes the mantra of the day "You can't get an ID without a birth certificate, and you can't get a birth certificate without an ID."
We go get my mom. Everything's cool. The lady at the counter is like "AREN'T MOMS THE BEST YUK YUK". No lady, i'm not going to smile and nod, you've done nothing but inconvenient me and my party, and now i hate the system even more.
We drop off my mom, go to secretary of state. Secretary of state is packed. I get checked in and my paperwork gets verified and i get my number and sit down. I'm in a better mood, things are working finally. A real awkward teenage girl comes in (you know, unkept hair and jeans up past her belly button) and sits in front of us, i figure she's there for a learner's permit or something. Her dad comes and sits next to her and starts smoking in the building. He's got an electronic cigarette, laura and I immediately start talking to him about how badass that is and all of our smoking habits. We talk for awhile, we talk about our ordeal at secretary of state and how frustrated we were when suddenly his daughter perks up and says something along the lines of "READ FAN FICTION!" I burst out in laughter. We start talking about anime now, she watches the typical weeaboo shit i've never heard of. Laura tells her about youmacon coming in november, her dad now is like faking being pissed off cause he semi knows his daughter is a weeaboo faggot but loves her anyways.
Anyways, laura stays seated while i get called up. I get the cool black lady (as opposed to the shitty black lady), she goes over my paper work, everything is cool, she says she just needs the manager to sign off on something. Then the tall dyke looking head of the State comes over, starts rifling through my papers and says i can't be verified because the leasing office doesn't have there phone number listed on my lease agreement. I immediately flip my shit. I start showing her my pile of paperwork that proves who i am, then i do the smart thing, LAURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Laura comes over, and we negotiate that if i can get my leasing office phone number ASAP we'll be good. Laura calls mary and gets it. Everythings cool. The lady messes up my paper work once (she forgot the III in my name). She redoes it all. Then she messes up swiping the debt card twice. Then i walk over to take my picture, the camera flashes and then turns off. Laura starts joking about how i broke the camera. I'm ugly har har. It takes her like 10 minutes to fix the camera, she takes the picture, asks me if i want another one, i say "no, i'm not going to get any prettier". We get a few receipts and leave.
Time spent at Secretary of State - 2 hours.
Total time spent that day trying to get an ID - 3.5 hours
Number of Valid photo ID's i have now - 0 (I have to wait for it in the mail still).
So i'm not sure what i'm going to do for the drug test. Just take my mountain of paperwork, and the secretary of state recpiet, and my old school ID's, and my old license if i can find it. Hope for the best.
----
In other news. The only thing that would make me feel better after all of that was egg rolls. So we got chinese for dinner. Joey went to bed early and laura and I ate chinese food until we were near comatose. So it wasn't to bad.
Joey says thank you in chinese.
He also hid my phone this morning while i was sleeping. I tried finding a free VOIP service to no avail. Gordon ended up calling me.
That's about it for now. I have a few applications to fill out, but right now, i still haven't gotten any call backs from anywhere. Shit's getting real tight. I'm hoping that changes ASAP.
Game day tomorrow.