This Entry Is Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
This my shit, this my shit.
You know, it's a proud era in American history, as fecalphelia seems to be being pushed into the forefront by Hollywood. While there have been some recent examples in the film industry (the extended cut of Team America: World Police and the druggie movie Spun), I think the most obvious example is the new Gwen Stefani song, in which she equates fÆces to bananas (then spelling it out so we understand). She also has the song structured to appeal to cheerleaders (with the clap-along beat and the spelling bit), hoping to draw the 12-19 year olds in. It's about time, too! After years of quietly toiling behind the scenes, I'd like to congratulate poo-poo on finally getting the respect and attention it deserves!
Anyway, speaking of caca, I started a competition with Gary at the beginning of the year to see which one of us could watch the most movies by January 1, 2006. He's been beating me all the way, and I've been struggling to get caught up, at the expense of some of my other interests. I don't think I've read a comic in months!
I was thinking of conceding and just declaring him the winner right here and now, but then I thought about a great man, a wonderful man, a man children should read about in schools:
Lex Luger!!!!
In 1993, Lex Luger was supposed to beat Yokozuna and win the WWF Championship. Lots of publicity went into him. He got to ride on a big bus around America, got his own sappy power ballad ("I'll Be Your Hero") and got to be at the forefront of WWF TV, stealing the spotlight from other deserving "superstars" of the time, such as Tatanka, Giant Gonzales and Bastion Booger.
When the Summerslam pay-per-view rolled around, Luger did indeed beat Yokozuna. He'll always be able to tell his children that. (Actually, I hope to Christ he doesn't have any kids. We'll just say the nice people in drug rehab instead.) However, Yokozuna fell out of the ring during the match and was counted out by the referee. Since WWF championships do not change hands on countouts or DQs, Yoko retained the title.
I started thinking, "Do I want Gary to be like Lex Luger? Do I want him to be able to say he won, but not in the way he would have liked to? Do I want him to tell his kids...er...friends in drug rehab that he only went halfway to win?" Hell no!
I am NOT conceding the Movie Race. It will end when the clock strikes 12 midnight at the end of December 31, 2005. I will probably lose, but it'll let my good friend Gary win like a REAL MAN.
To keep track on where we stand, you can visit these links:
Big Bad Chris B
The Rugged Kentishman
In other news, I spent $30 on a wrestling DVD today, the '80s three-disc set they recently released. It's a good thing I haven't gotten up to the chapter in JBL's book where he tells you not to buy things you don't need... I also hope I don't read up to it before I buy the Road Warriors set they recently released and the Judgment Day DVD, with the supposedly excellent Cena/JBL match. I'll be watching Vengeance tomorrow as well, but I'm only paying (excuse me, HAVE payed) $3 for it...
I also saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which was very good. However, I actually preferred Suburban Nightmare, another film in which spouses try to kill each other. My brain also decided to bring up everything I've been annoyed about lately, which kept it wandering away from the action onscreen. I hope to see the film again so I can catch some of the things I missed!
That's about it. Bye for now.
I hate everything and everyone.
You know, it's a proud era in American history, as fecalphelia seems to be being pushed into the forefront by Hollywood. While there have been some recent examples in the film industry (the extended cut of Team America: World Police and the druggie movie Spun), I think the most obvious example is the new Gwen Stefani song, in which she equates fÆces to bananas (then spelling it out so we understand). She also has the song structured to appeal to cheerleaders (with the clap-along beat and the spelling bit), hoping to draw the 12-19 year olds in. It's about time, too! After years of quietly toiling behind the scenes, I'd like to congratulate poo-poo on finally getting the respect and attention it deserves!
Anyway, speaking of caca, I started a competition with Gary at the beginning of the year to see which one of us could watch the most movies by January 1, 2006. He's been beating me all the way, and I've been struggling to get caught up, at the expense of some of my other interests. I don't think I've read a comic in months!
I was thinking of conceding and just declaring him the winner right here and now, but then I thought about a great man, a wonderful man, a man children should read about in schools:
Lex Luger!!!!
In 1993, Lex Luger was supposed to beat Yokozuna and win the WWF Championship. Lots of publicity went into him. He got to ride on a big bus around America, got his own sappy power ballad ("I'll Be Your Hero") and got to be at the forefront of WWF TV, stealing the spotlight from other deserving "superstars" of the time, such as Tatanka, Giant Gonzales and Bastion Booger.
When the Summerslam pay-per-view rolled around, Luger did indeed beat Yokozuna. He'll always be able to tell his children that. (Actually, I hope to Christ he doesn't have any kids. We'll just say the nice people in drug rehab instead.) However, Yokozuna fell out of the ring during the match and was counted out by the referee. Since WWF championships do not change hands on countouts or DQs, Yoko retained the title.
I started thinking, "Do I want Gary to be like Lex Luger? Do I want him to be able to say he won, but not in the way he would have liked to? Do I want him to tell his kids...er...friends in drug rehab that he only went halfway to win?" Hell no!
I am NOT conceding the Movie Race. It will end when the clock strikes 12 midnight at the end of December 31, 2005. I will probably lose, but it'll let my good friend Gary win like a REAL MAN.
To keep track on where we stand, you can visit these links:
Big Bad Chris B
The Rugged Kentishman
In other news, I spent $30 on a wrestling DVD today, the '80s three-disc set they recently released. It's a good thing I haven't gotten up to the chapter in JBL's book where he tells you not to buy things you don't need... I also hope I don't read up to it before I buy the Road Warriors set they recently released and the Judgment Day DVD, with the supposedly excellent Cena/JBL match. I'll be watching Vengeance tomorrow as well, but I'm only paying (excuse me, HAVE payed) $3 for it...
I also saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which was very good. However, I actually preferred Suburban Nightmare, another film in which spouses try to kill each other. My brain also decided to bring up everything I've been annoyed about lately, which kept it wandering away from the action onscreen. I hope to see the film again so I can catch some of the things I missed!
That's about it. Bye for now.
I hate everything and everyone.