there is no subject title that could make this any more awesome.
((OOC: i am actually drunk. so. um. fun times?))
title: randomness does not win, but it wins alcohol.
rating: two bottles of vodka.
warning: there are no chips. why. twat ate them. there are no fucks and this is depressing.
characters: i don't fucking know, make your own. oh. sengoku and minami. yamafuckingbuki. oi.
you wankers.
sengoku is the biggest fuckwit in the world. his love for minami is like a fijord. it is big and great and fucking cold because his balls are always blue. he watches porn with minami and minami practices head on sengoku. while watching porn. this is old news. but sengoku likes shaky fuzzy mobile phone porn the best. that is new news. more new news is that he likes it because it makes him throw up. sengoku is weird. minami is weirder. together they are not as weird as the jimmies. but the jimmies are straight. they are still weirdest.
i once poured applesauce on sengoku's head. we were in my mother's cafe and i was helping out and he was being a fuckwit so i poured it over his head and he started licking it off and saying that it was his lucky day and why didn't I do it more often. i said he wasn't usually so horrible that he needed fucking applesauce over his head to shut him up. and he licked really nicely. he licked off a lot more applesauce later and then he chundered in my lap and sengoku goes funny colours when he chunders and he is not so pretty anymore. i still think minami is a sucker for becoming a slave to sengoku's whims. but banji is scarier than sengoku and that is why.
sengoku is obssessed with cows. he likes the way they smell and he likes breathing their stinky farts. we saw some at the butcher's the other day and they were very stinky. he asked to smell them and then he said they smelt like feet and i said that they weren't alive anymore and that was why. live cows smell like REAL feet. they smell like sengoku's feet when he's spent too many days in the one pair of shoes and has to be reminded that sweat exists for a reason and he had better not ignore that reason or i would shoot him.
banji is plotting to overthrow the government. we know this because he is banji and he is a creepy fucker with too many conspiracy theories. and he does this evil smile thing and i think he is plotting to take over the world. i saw notes. and he has a tally on the label of his shirts of how many boys he's fucked. and it is very wrong and creepy and you should all stay away from banji. except that sengoku is one of many notches but sengoku does not care, because sengoku is a twit and he and minami fuck in the clubroom even when they know that banji is watching through the cameras.
it is step one of his plot to take over the world through corrupting tennis boys. it is not on but it is banji and banji is a creepy fucker of the ultimate power squad. he and hanamura and sakaki together are great evil. i will kill them before it happens. except that banji is too creepy to kill, so sengoku will do it. he says it is good luck to get a death card in your readings. i do not agree. death is death is death, except apparently in tarot. fucking fujis. creepy fuckers.
in conclusion, minami is a whore, sengoku is luuuuucky~! he does not have gonorrhea, and banji is secrectly a government agent. this is the basic introduction to life at yamabuki.
title: randomness does not win, but it wins alcohol.
rating: two bottles of vodka.
warning: there are no chips. why. twat ate them. there are no fucks and this is depressing.
characters: i don't fucking know, make your own. oh. sengoku and minami. yamafuckingbuki. oi.
you wankers.
sengoku is the biggest fuckwit in the world. his love for minami is like a fijord. it is big and great and fucking cold because his balls are always blue. he watches porn with minami and minami practices head on sengoku. while watching porn. this is old news. but sengoku likes shaky fuzzy mobile phone porn the best. that is new news. more new news is that he likes it because it makes him throw up. sengoku is weird. minami is weirder. together they are not as weird as the jimmies. but the jimmies are straight. they are still weirdest.
i once poured applesauce on sengoku's head. we were in my mother's cafe and i was helping out and he was being a fuckwit so i poured it over his head and he started licking it off and saying that it was his lucky day and why didn't I do it more often. i said he wasn't usually so horrible that he needed fucking applesauce over his head to shut him up. and he licked really nicely. he licked off a lot more applesauce later and then he chundered in my lap and sengoku goes funny colours when he chunders and he is not so pretty anymore. i still think minami is a sucker for becoming a slave to sengoku's whims. but banji is scarier than sengoku and that is why.
sengoku is obssessed with cows. he likes the way they smell and he likes breathing their stinky farts. we saw some at the butcher's the other day and they were very stinky. he asked to smell them and then he said they smelt like feet and i said that they weren't alive anymore and that was why. live cows smell like REAL feet. they smell like sengoku's feet when he's spent too many days in the one pair of shoes and has to be reminded that sweat exists for a reason and he had better not ignore that reason or i would shoot him.
banji is plotting to overthrow the government. we know this because he is banji and he is a creepy fucker with too many conspiracy theories. and he does this evil smile thing and i think he is plotting to take over the world. i saw notes. and he has a tally on the label of his shirts of how many boys he's fucked. and it is very wrong and creepy and you should all stay away from banji. except that sengoku is one of many notches but sengoku does not care, because sengoku is a twit and he and minami fuck in the clubroom even when they know that banji is watching through the cameras.
it is step one of his plot to take over the world through corrupting tennis boys. it is not on but it is banji and banji is a creepy fucker of the ultimate power squad. he and hanamura and sakaki together are great evil. i will kill them before it happens. except that banji is too creepy to kill, so sengoku will do it. he says it is good luck to get a death card in your readings. i do not agree. death is death is death, except apparently in tarot. fucking fujis. creepy fuckers.
in conclusion, minami is a whore, sengoku is luuuuucky~! he does not have gonorrhea, and banji is secrectly a government agent. this is the basic introduction to life at yamabuki.