(no subject)
Well, Last night was good and bad/ mostly bad until the end. It started out with going to my first class of general anatomy and physiology. After sitting there for a few minutes I noticed a small chill somewhere. As I noticed my pants had torn open so I had to sit through 4 hours of class like that. Then I came home intending on going out to the bar. Right before I was going to leave Abby imed me and we talked and she said she was going to a movie but would like to hang out afterwords. The Mo and J came home and I watched blazing saddles with them. after the movie there was some miscommunication about was was happening at that point. I had knocked on the J's door to get a goodbye hug because I decided I was going to go to the bar and not wait for abby. Well I heard a comment that usually makes me laugh. But this time I got upset by it,which it itself was not bad. I went to leave the house as I was about to go out the door J stopped me and tried to see what was going on unfortunately due to my long frustrating week I snapped. I turned around yelled something at him about mo and left the house. Was out at my truck but i couldnt get in. Partly because of what i had just said and partly because I was mad and wanted to talk to mo about what had just happened that made me snap. So after five minutes I went back in and started doing stuff around the house very loudly hoping that she would come and talk to me. I was still very mad at her. As soon as she walked out my anger went away as I noticed she was crying. As I found out was coming out to talk to me as I said those things about her to J and heard them all. My head sank as my heart shriveled into nothingness. I had just deeply hurt one of the people that means the most to me in my life. She has always been there for me through good and bad. And what I had said was so bad there is no way I can ever make up for it. for the next 20 minutes I could not even look her in the eye. She told me when she heard me say it she went back into the room fell on the bed and cried. She didn't think anything so bad could ever come out of my mouth especially to her. She wondered who I was at that point. And she was right I was not myself. I said something I would never say. I know I hurt her baldly and I will have to live with that. Things did get better in more ways then one. As I was apologizing the best I could Abby called me and and then talked to mo and decided she was coming over. Which was a good thing for two reasons. It cheered me and Mo up from the current situation. Also it kept me from going to the bar. Now normally that would be a bad thing. But looking back I wouldn't want to know what would have happened had I went. Had I gone I would have gotten hammered in anger at what I had done to mo and of the situation of the entire week. Then drunk ty to drive home from Appleton. She may have saved my life.. this is getting awful long and I am going to go meet mo soon to watch some movies. she wants her "girlfriend" over for girlie movies and I said I would gladly come over.