(Untitled)

[big_whoop]

The trip into the Item World a while back managed to net Guybrush a few pawnable items; enough to, you know, not starve to death or something. He's fairly thankful that demon food is apparently edible to pirate palates, and is currently camped at a table in a cafeteria somewhere, flitting through some more of his purloined books.Hmm... item world

Comments

[ihartsweetcurry]

...What's insult sword-fighting?

[big_whoop]

Guybrush looks up.

Insult sword-fighting? Why, it's the sword-fighting method of masters! After all, anybody can wave a sword around, but a good insult will throw your opponents off guard, and a good repartee and a cool head is your best defense! It's the pirate way to fight!

...unless the pirate is a massive cheater, of course... which happens a lot, but that's not the point!

[ihartsweetcurry]

Huh. How does th-that work exactly? [he cants his head, blinking owlishly]

[big_whoop]

Well, it's pretty simple! Say I'm dashingly dueling with you. Sunlight glints off the steel of our swords. It's a flurry of footwork and finesse! And then, as I've got you off guard, I say, "You fight like a dairy farmer!" And you respond...

[ihartsweetcurry]

Uhm... "Least I'm not a cow"...?

[big_whoop]

...er, sort of, but you're kind of lacking the panache there. It's supposed to be, "How appropriate, you FIGHT like a cow." Much more applicable to the fight, you know?

Okay, how about this? After a lengthy battle, I've got your back to the wall, my sword tip aimed at your throat. And I say, "Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kabob!" And you say...

[ihartsweetcurry]

Oooh... [he rubs his shin]

Ok-okay. "Well, stop wa-waving it like a handkerchief"?

[big_whoop]

Hmm... I suppose that works too. Hey, I think you've got potential! Maybe you could be a world-class insult sword-fighter. Just like me, Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate (tm)!

[ihartsweetcurry]

You th-think so?

[he wonders what he just gotten himself into... but if it works like Guybrush claims...]

[big_whoop]

Yeah! Keep it up, and you'll be insulting your way to victory in no time.

[ihartsweetcurry]

I'll see what I come up with. It's always ca-call and uhm, respond style?

[big_whoop]

Pretty much. And remember: If you're fighting on a ship, it's gotta rhyme. It's tradition.

[ihartsweetcurry]

Why?

[big_whoop]

I TOLD you, it's tradition! You don't ask questions like that, it's unseemly!

AKA There IS no reason. Because he's from the Monkey Island-verse. Silly.

[ihartsweetcurry]

...

Th-then again, is there any ship here?

[big_whoop]

That's not the point.