Chronicles of Robbie II:Robbie really smells like poopoopoo.
I had intended to log this post earlier, but I got caught up in my home drama instead. Anyways, here it is. More about my boss Robbie.
Robbie loves competition. He's always trying to get someone to race him in the parking lot, or see who can stuff the most paperclips in their mouth, or see who can hold their breath the longest. His favorite competition, however, is "Whose poop is the biggest?" He insists on knowing the weight of our dumps that we take at work. After we poop, we're supposed to get a weight on it and post it on a chart in the breakroom. Oh, by the way, we don't actually weigh our poop. He bought a digital bathroom scale for each bathroom. You weigh yourself before you poop and after. The difference is the weight of the load you just dropped. The weight of any urine is assumed to be negligigble.
Of course, Robbie is the current poop champ, at 2.2 pounds. With all those pies, is it any goddamned wonder? Still, I'm a good 70 lbs heavier than Robbie, so it is a little embarrassing to get beat out by him. The women in our office refuse to engage in this competition, and that annoys Robbie to no end. Robbie, me and Vance are the only guys in the office, and Vance and I humor him because he really enjoys lording his massive poop over us. I've learned in the past that when it comes to bosses, you pick your battles. If going along with Robbie's poop game keeps me on his good side and keeps him out of my business, well it's just easier than dealing with the petty grumpy bullshit he seems to give most of the woman. Once again, I must reiterate that wife thinks Robbie is the strangest man she's ever met. I guess since I'm around him everyday, I just don't notice it anymore.
Robbie loves competition. He's always trying to get someone to race him in the parking lot, or see who can stuff the most paperclips in their mouth, or see who can hold their breath the longest. His favorite competition, however, is "Whose poop is the biggest?" He insists on knowing the weight of our dumps that we take at work. After we poop, we're supposed to get a weight on it and post it on a chart in the breakroom. Oh, by the way, we don't actually weigh our poop. He bought a digital bathroom scale for each bathroom. You weigh yourself before you poop and after. The difference is the weight of the load you just dropped. The weight of any urine is assumed to be negligigble.
Of course, Robbie is the current poop champ, at 2.2 pounds. With all those pies, is it any goddamned wonder? Still, I'm a good 70 lbs heavier than Robbie, so it is a little embarrassing to get beat out by him. The women in our office refuse to engage in this competition, and that annoys Robbie to no end. Robbie, me and Vance are the only guys in the office, and Vance and I humor him because he really enjoys lording his massive poop over us. I've learned in the past that when it comes to bosses, you pick your battles. If going along with Robbie's poop game keeps me on his good side and keeps him out of my business, well it's just easier than dealing with the petty grumpy bullshit he seems to give most of the woman. Once again, I must reiterate that wife thinks Robbie is the strangest man she's ever met. I guess since I'm around him everyday, I just don't notice it anymore.