(no subject)
ugh!!
depression has had a serious hold on me for the last week and a half. now i know why i don't own a gun!!
fuck!!! sometimes i hate being alive. i am fucking sick and tired of traipsing (when was the last time you used that word in a sentence?) through life as a lonely bitter old man!!!
hung out with peanut butter tonight, didn't even pretend to feel anything. i walked home from her house (about 2 miles) because my buddy adam had some lame-o fare in his cab that kept the meter running for at least an hour. at least she bought me drinks all night. although alcohol does not help when you are feeling down.
i am gonna call the ex-shrink on monday, this depression is fucking brutal at the moment. can't write, can't think, all i can do is play stupid games on my comp and read and try to get my mind to shut the fuck up!!!! even non-stop dimmu borgir is not curing my current condition.
why do i bother? i'll pretend people care, but, quite frankly, i don't give a flying fuck about anyone or anything tonight.
depression has had a serious hold on me for the last week and a half. now i know why i don't own a gun!!
fuck!!! sometimes i hate being alive. i am fucking sick and tired of traipsing (when was the last time you used that word in a sentence?) through life as a lonely bitter old man!!!
hung out with peanut butter tonight, didn't even pretend to feel anything. i walked home from her house (about 2 miles) because my buddy adam had some lame-o fare in his cab that kept the meter running for at least an hour. at least she bought me drinks all night. although alcohol does not help when you are feeling down.
i am gonna call the ex-shrink on monday, this depression is fucking brutal at the moment. can't write, can't think, all i can do is play stupid games on my comp and read and try to get my mind to shut the fuck up!!!! even non-stop dimmu borgir is not curing my current condition.
why do i bother? i'll pretend people care, but, quite frankly, i don't give a flying fuck about anyone or anything tonight.