Scumbag brain strikes again...
So this morning, I did everything right. I got up on time, I turned off my computer monitor at 6:20 so I couldn't be distracted by facebook while I got the rest of the way dressed. I had my lunch packed and was out the door and in my car at 6:34, and I got to my parking lot at 6:45. It's a 6 minute walk to the turnstile at work. I was approaching it when the 10 minute warning siren sounded. I was not only going to be on time, I was going to be early. I crossed the street, reached for my badge...
It's not there...
I had forgotten it in my car.
My scumbag brain had completely forgotten to grab my badge on my way in, forcing me to walk all the way back to my car, grab my badge, and walk all the way back in. The 7:00 siren sounded just as I was angrily slamming the door to my car. I was going to be 5 minutes early, turned out to be 10 minutes late.
I swear I must have some kind of psychological compulsion to be late for work. This isn't the first time my head has done this to me: normally, my "Holy shit I'm gonna be late!" Reflex doesn't kick in until I've got less than 30 minutes to get to work. I go from, "doo doo doo, I have plenty of time" to "Holy Shit!" Around 6:35 most days. Most of those days, I'm either right on time or 1-2 minutes late. On the rare days like today when I hunker down and do everything I can to get to work on time, the most common culprit is the forgotten badge, but sometimes my brain gets creative: one morning, I was leaving early, I even pinned my badge to my shirt as soon as I got in the car so as not to forget it. Now, my normal route I take a left at a certain point. I have taken this left every day for the past 3 years. I could do this route in my sleep. Not this day, tho: I missed the turn and was halfway through downtown Hampton heading to the HRBT before I realized what I was doing. I turned around and headed to work, getting to work with about a minute to spare.
I have tried to change my habit. I've tried taking steps and yeah, I will do better for a week, and then it's back into the same rut again.
I really should see a therapist about this.
It's not there...
I had forgotten it in my car.
My scumbag brain had completely forgotten to grab my badge on my way in, forcing me to walk all the way back to my car, grab my badge, and walk all the way back in. The 7:00 siren sounded just as I was angrily slamming the door to my car. I was going to be 5 minutes early, turned out to be 10 minutes late.
I swear I must have some kind of psychological compulsion to be late for work. This isn't the first time my head has done this to me: normally, my "Holy shit I'm gonna be late!" Reflex doesn't kick in until I've got less than 30 minutes to get to work. I go from, "doo doo doo, I have plenty of time" to "Holy Shit!" Around 6:35 most days. Most of those days, I'm either right on time or 1-2 minutes late. On the rare days like today when I hunker down and do everything I can to get to work on time, the most common culprit is the forgotten badge, but sometimes my brain gets creative: one morning, I was leaving early, I even pinned my badge to my shirt as soon as I got in the car so as not to forget it. Now, my normal route I take a left at a certain point. I have taken this left every day for the past 3 years. I could do this route in my sleep. Not this day, tho: I missed the turn and was halfway through downtown Hampton heading to the HRBT before I realized what I was doing. I turned around and headed to work, getting to work with about a minute to spare.
I have tried to change my habit. I've tried taking steps and yeah, I will do better for a week, and then it's back into the same rut again.
I really should see a therapist about this.