(Untitled)

[stoic_angel_]

((Continued from hereAfter we had gotten things sorted out with the girl, and taken her home, we were now on our way home. Her parents had been demanding to know what had happened, and luckily, we had managed to come up with a pathetic, yet somehow believable, story for her parents

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[visiongirl]

I was still shaken up when we got back to the hotel, but mostly I was concerned about Faith. For as much as I was nervous about these visions she was having, I knew that whatever she was going through had to be ten times worse. Add to that Wesley's never-ending nervousness (although he seemed to be slightly more relaxed) and Angel's general lack of people skills and we were a hodge podge group of sad troopers. I was sad, so very sad that Doyle wasn't with us anymore. I was also righteously pissed off that no one had really bothered to tell me. Instead Angel and Faith had just marched off into the night to take down Spike. Not that I blamed them, if I had that kind of physical power and a complete disregard for ruining perfectly good shoes I might have done the same thing.

Speaking of my shoes? They were totally ruined. Thank you very much demon cult. At least we got there before they made that girl drink the kool-aid or whatever it was they were planning to do.

Angel asked us if we wanted breakfast as we piled out of the car and a small twinge of a smile tilted up the corners of my lips. Breakfast. You see, this was exactly what I was talking about. Besides the overwhelming sadness of Doyle's absence we still had eachother. Even if Wesley was completely uncomfortable, Faith was borderline evil and Angel had no people skills to speak of whatsoever. They needed this, I needed this, needed eachother. If Wesley hadn't been there we would have never gone for the throats of those demons, and it was pretty clear why having Angel and Faith around to watch eachother's backs was needed.

"Are you offering to make pancakes?" I asked him with a grin, still making sure to stay close to Faith. I wasn't sure what was going on in her head but I'd be sure to ask her....after breakfast. "Because after the night we've had? I'm thinking pancakes are exactly what we need." Oh, and showers. Desperately needed showers.

[wickedslayer]

I was still all kinds of tweeked out when we made it back inside but I'd definitely heard worse ideas then pancakes after the night I'd had. Hell, I really thought I was dead for a little while. It was weird how much that thought disturbed considering I'd wanted to die so desperately not all that long ago. I'd begged Angel for it and he still wouldn't give into me. Now the thought of pushin' up daisies somewhere righteously pissed me off. Course, havin' these weird dream psychic things in my head pissed me off even more. I didn't wanna feel that much pain, I didn't wanna be stuck in someone else's head. Just didn't seem fair at all.

"I'm down for pancakes." I said with a shrug, wondering how good pancakes could be when a vampire was cooking them. Wes looked a little apprehensive but at least he didnt' look like he was gonna bail everytime I was in the same room with him. He was tense but a little more relaxed and for the first time I realized the bruises and battering on his face had mostly faded away into nothing. Maybe this was the way things were supposed to be. Seemed a little too normal for what I was used to.

I could still feel it too, the confusion that pulled me over to the wayside. I was keenly aware that the only reason I'd even held onto this side of things as long as I had was cause Cordelia wanted me to. Sure we'd fucked in the shower but it wasn't about that at all anymore. Not that I was complainin' about the sex or anything but it was something else. The fact that she refused to give up on me despite the horrible things I did to her. She believed in me and that was almost enough to make me believe in myself.

With a shrug I followed Cordy into the kitchen leavin' Wes and Soul Boy in the lobby to suss out whatever it was they were gonna do. But seriously, how could Watcher Boy turn down pancakes?

[_wes_pryce_]

I'd nearly fallen asleep on the way back to the hotel. Exhausted wasn't even close to what I was feeling right now. Muscles were aching I didn't even know I had. But unlike...uhm...other pains, this actually felt good. I'd gotten them trying to safe an innocent. We did more then trying, we did it. Even though I'd contributed very little to the fight and the winning end of it, I still felt a little proud.

I followed the others back into the hotel wearily, unsure about the fact if I was actually welcome there. Perhaps I should just take the bike and go back home. I mean. Back to Cordelia's apartment. I was actually in the mood for a game of chess with Dennis. And tell him what we'd done tonight. I'm sure he's worried about both myself and Cordelia. Faith walked in as well, and I kept a close eye on her. I wasn't expecting her to beat me to death at the drop of a hat, but I was still very cautious.

Just as I was about to wish everyone a good...day, I suppose, Angel offered to make us breakfast. Or Cordelia and Faith, I don't know. And what is it with that vampire and food? He was practically stuffing that damn sandwich down my throat the other day. Cordy moved over to the kitchen, closely followed by Faith. And what was with that? Odd. I glanced at Angel from the corner of my eyes and then moved behind the girls with a shrug.

I just wanted to make certain if Cordelia was alright. And if that meant I could steal a pancake or two? That was just an added bonus.

[stoic_angel_]

I glanced at Cordelia, then nodded, grateful that she had picked up on what I was trying to say so quickly. "Um, yeah. I mean, if you guys wanted pancakes," I said, shrugging like it didn't really matter.

It did, though. Right now, I didn't want to be alone, and for me, that was saying something. And after all, it occured to me that maybe Doyle's friendship had done something more than I had thought; hadn't he said I needed to get in touch with people? He had helped me with that, had helped me realize that I could have friends, without necessarily hurting them.

But that still didn't mean that I wasn't guilty for Doyle's death. Spike would never have... done that, if Doyle hadn't been my friend, if Spike hadn't decided that the best way to make me hurt was to kill those I cared about. Something that Doyle had overlooked in his speech about me becoming part of the world- the fact that whenever I tried to be part of the world, anyone I got close to inevitably got hurt or killed, because of me.

How could I keep everyone else close now, knowing that Spike was in town, with a new mate? How could I keep them safe, when I was the very reason they got hurt? I knew that it was partially their choice, but... in a way, it also wasn't. I mean, Cordelia needed a job and money- acting was working out for her. Doyle and now Faith had the visions, which also meant they were tied to me in a way, and even if she weren't, Faith would be out there fighting until she died herself- that was what Slayers did. And Wesley... Wesley could probably get a normal job if he wanted, he certainly seemed smart enough. After all, Watchers didn't train morons- the question of whether he wanted a normal job, or not...

I glanced up from the floor again, and motioned toward the hotel's kitchen. As we moved in, I asked, "So, is there anything else you guys want? There might be some sausage around here, too..." I trailed off, and glanced at Cordy, wondering if she remembered or not.

[visiongirl]

Like anyone was buying the act Angel was trying to sell. It was plain as day, written all over his face that he didn't want to be alone. Which frankly was more then a little bit surprising. I thought for sure that he would excuse himself the minute we got into the lobby to go do other important things. You know, like brooding and blaming himself for everything. What happened to Doyle...I knew it was going to take awhile for the two of us to get over that. I wasn't sure if we would ever get over that. But at least we didn't have to go through it alone.

Faith followed me into the kitchen, with Angel and Wesley lollygagging behind us in the lobby. She had a look in her eye that I could only describe as haunted. What was going on in that head of her's? I wondered if she'd ever tell me. Until then I would have to settle on pestering her until she at least told me something. It wasn't good for Faith to be alone either. Not with all the things she was going through. And I'm not just concerned because we...did whatever we did in the shower.

"Are you okay?" I asked her quietly slipping my hand inot her's and shooting her a concerned look. I doubted she would tell me if she wasn't, at least not right now.

I instantly dropped her hand as Angel and Wes made their way into the kitchen. Check. I'd wait until later to grill Faith on this whole vision thing she had going on now. For right now I just shot Wesley a half smile, a silent appreciation for, well everything. I was glad that he was still here. Wesley was like the rest of us, I think. He just didn't need to be alone, he needed family.

I wrinkled my nose when Angel mentioned the sausage. Leave it up to the vampire to forget how old that sausage was. "I think maybe we should skip the sausage, Angel." I said with a slight smile as I watched him take the sausage out of the fridge and make a disgusted face of his own.

[wickedslayer]

I shot Cordelia a look that clearly said I was just fine and the topic was closed for discussion. Alright, so fine wasn't exactly the word I'd use to describe my current frame of mind but I didn't want Cor to be worried about me. She'd already done enough of that already. Not that it mattered cause the minute Angel and Wes walked in she was droppin' my hand like a hotcake. Guess that was the way it was gonna be then. It was fine when the two of us were alone but when other people were in the room with us it was hands off.

Sitting down at the table, it wasn't long until Cordy sat on one side of me and Wes sat on the other side of her. He was still all weirded out around and didn't wanna be near me. I could understand that, after everything I'd done to him. Finally got up the stones to apologize to him but of course it was when he couldn't hear me or see me. I really sucked at apologies, and for the first time...I felt a little more then sorry. Felt wicked bad about takin' all my shit out on him, even if he had dicked me over more then a few times in the past. He musta been so scared tied up to that chair, me grinnin' at him like a psycho. At least we were sittin' at the same table now. That was a start, right? Seemed to make Cordelia happy anyway.

I watched with an arched eyebrow as Angel made a face and tossed the sausage into the garbage can before gettin' to work on those pancakes. Couldn't believe the vamp was makin' us breakfast. I was wicked starved, and for as much as my head was somewhere completely different right now I felt like I could eat a whole fucking horse. Those vision deals made a girl wicked hungry. Unless that was just usual post slayage hungry/horny thing goin' on.

[_wes_pryce_]

A vampire, cooking food for humans. I don't recall they ever mention that at the Academy. And it *was* very odd to watch. If you didn't know he was a vampire, you'd think he was just a chap making some breakfast for his friends. Well, if you overlook the pale look. And the extreme look of guilt on his face. I'm actually surprised to notice that look. Thus far I'd figured him only capable of one facial expression.

Hesitantly, I moved further into the kitchen, eying Cordelia and Faith sitting comfy cozy next to each other. Another odd thing. I don't know what's going on there, why Cordelia is suddenly defending Faith this much. Although 'stockholm syndrome' does come to mind. It's almost as though she never as in that room with me. She'd never been tied up, never saw me tied up, never saw or *felt* what Faith did to us.

I slid behind them, keeping a safe distance from Faith. Or rather, as much as I could. Which wasn't all that much in this kitchen. Sitting down next to Cordelia, I just kept my gaze down. I didn't feel particularly at home here, even wondered if I was really welcome. When I looked up, I noticed Cordelia smiling at me faintly. Mustering up a small smile of my own, I cleared my throat and glanced back to Angel again.

Purposly I *didn't* look at Faith, unsure what I'd see in her eyes. Or the expression of contempt and disgust and hate I remembered so well. So instead I just watched Angel. Putter around the kitchen. Making pancakes.

[stoic_angel_]

I tossed the sausage away, then turned around, glancing at everyone else. They were clustered around the table, each looking more or less lost in their own thoughts. I hadn't missed Cordelia slipping closer to Faith, although I still wondered about that.

As I started making the pancakes, I turned and looked at the others, and sighed. I caught Wesley giving me these weird looks, and shrugged them off. He was an ex-Watcher, after all, taught to kill my kind... it still had to be kind of weird to watch me acting... almost human.

When the first batch was done, I silently set the serving plate on the table, then, on second thought, reached into the cupboards and retrieved some clean dishes. Briefly, I mentally thanked Cordy that she had such a problem with my housekeeping... Not that I couldn't clean them myself, but they didn't come up to the Cordelia Chase Standard for clean, I supposed.

I started setting things out for everyone, grabbing the syrup and butter, then looking at them all. No one was talking, and for a moment, I felt weird... like maybe I had missed out on something important, that was making them all silent. I knew that there wasn't a reason to be cheerful, but... Faith and Wesley had never known Doyle, so they didn't have a reason to be quiet, unless they were still feeling at odds around one another, which I supposed could be. On the other hand, Doyle still hung pretty closely for Cordy and I... and he would for a while.

"Well, enjoy," I finally said awkwardly, looking that them, then gesturing toward the food.

[visiongirl]

I shot Angel a smile as he set the pancakes down on the table. For a fleeting moment I thought that maybe being slightly happy about the four of us here, eating pancakes might be a slight betrayal to Doyle. After all, he'd just died and I missed him horribly already. He'd been my friend, Angel's friend. But if it was one thing I could learn from Doyle it was that you had to keep living no matter what life shoved your way. Hey, I thought I'd be a successful actress by now, living off of Daddy's money until I made my own way. Instead I could barely afford the rent on my apartment and for all intents and purposes I was an overglorified secretary. But I felt good about the work I was doing at Angel Investigations, because I knew that helping the hopeless was a worthy cause. Angel was my friend too and he was going to find redemption. I'd be here until he did.

"What's everyone waiting for?" I asked with the same slight smile as I dug my fork into a stack full of pancakes and put them on my plate. Then I slid the plate over to Faith so she could do the same before passing it to Wesley. Alright, so maybe this was the most dysfunctional family ever, but it was still family. Even if Wes and Faith still looked like they'd rather have needles poked into their eyes then spend this much time together. They needed eachother, they just didn't know it yet.

Eating a mouthful of pancakes as Angel sat down at the table between Wes and Faith I glanced back up at Wes as he helped himself to some pancakes. "So Wesley?" I asked cheerfully because I would be damned if I'd let our morning breakfast be clouded over by depression that was threatening to take hold of all of us. Doyle was gone, Faith had visions, Wes was terrified of Faith but we had to get over it. Spank that inner moppet or else we'd all have to excuse ourselves to go brood like Angel. "What are you planning to do now? Are you staying in town?" In other words, when can I have my apartment back? Not that I was completely anxious to leave Faith in the hotel with Angel but I missed my apartment. I missed Dennis. Maybe Faith could come stay with me at my apartment, even though I knew that idea would drive Wes and Angel crazy.

"I know some real estate people who could probably help find you an apartment." I wanted him to stay in town, I honestly believed that Wesley needed us and that we needed him. Now I was just going to have to talk Angel into giving Wesley a job.

[wickedslayer]

Pancakes. Now this was exactly what I needed for that horny/hungry that always follows a good slay. Fightin' those demons in robes? Pretty harrowing fight and now I was starved, I was always hungry. Guess I'd just have to work on horny later, assuming that Cordelia would ever go near me again. Course, she was tryin' to hold my hand a minute ago so maybe another shower wasn't totally outta the question. She was just all upset about losin' her pal Doyle though. Maybe she needed some cold comfort. She wasn't the only one.

Silently, my mind was still on that whole vision deal going on as Cordelia started drilling Wesley about getting an apartment and where he was gonna go next. Why was she so hell bent on gettin' him to stay anyway? Was she takin' showers with him too? Didn't think so but it just seemed weird that she was so damn attached to him all of a sudden. Course, they probably did have lots of time to bond when I was holding them hostage in that apartment. Just another thing that was my fault.

I wanted to ask more about Doyle. I had so many fucking questions and no one to really ask. I wanted to talk to Angel most of all, wanted to ask him how I was supposed to live the rest of my life knowing what I'd done, all the people I killed. I wanted to ask Cordelia about Doyle, about his visions. I wanted to ask Wesley why he was still here. But I didn't ask anything, instead I drowned my pancakes in syrup and shoved a forkful in my mouth.

[_wes_pryce_]

Cordelia was trying to be overly cheerful. I recognized it right away. It was something 'Cordelia' like, I suppose. Faith just did the same as I did, reluctantly eat those pancakes and keep all questions to herself. I've no idea what Angel's doing, actually. I'm still stuck with the 'a vampire making breakfast' thing. How strange is that? And it tastes rather good as well, I noticed when I took a tentative bite. Wasn't really hungry, but it seemed impolite not to eat something.

I looked at Cordelia alarmed when she asked me what my plans were now. My eyes quickly darted around the room from person to slayer to vampire before I lowered my head again. How should I know what my plans were? I didn't even know why the hell I was still here. Obviously I'm not actually needed. I mean, what did I do today? Other then keep my eye on Cordelia and be scared of Faith. I tagged along and watched them fight. Very productive.

Just as I was about to come up with some excuse, she started about a real estate agent. "You want me to leave?" Was out of my mouth before I noticed it. My face fell and I frowned down at the pancakes on my plate. She wanted me to leave her apartment? Well, it *is* her apartment I suppose. But she was the one who insisted I could stay for as long as I'd like.

And Dennis and I are getting along just splendid. We have our daily game of chess in the morning. And another game in the evening. Watch television, he makes sure I take the damn medication on time, even waves those bloody sandwiches or somesuch in front of my nose. He's such a mother hen. That thought made me smile for a moment, until I remembered that Cordelia wanted me out of there. She wanted her apartment back...I suppose.

"I don't know," I said softly with a small shrug. I was glad to notice it didn't hurt as much as it had before. Perhaps it was time to move on. The only reason I'm staying is because of Cordelia. To make certain she's alright and Faith isn't hurting her. But... "I don't know," I repeated with a sigh. "I suppose it's time to move on." Pushing my plate away I muttered about being a rogue demon hunter under my breath. Such a laugh, one just needs to look at me to know that.

[stoic_angel_]

I sat down, watching the others eat, feeling both oddly relaxed and slightly out of place. After the day I'd just had, this setting, just watching the others eat and realx was... comforting. They were fine...

On the other hand, it made me feel all the more out of place; they were all human, were all eating together... while yes, they all had different pasts and tangled histories with each other... they belonged. Given time, and Cordelia's influence, they could pull together into a family.

I glanced up as I heard a plate being shoved across the table, and saw Wesley leaning back. I looked over at Cordelia, and wondered what was going to happen next. We had lost Doyle, but now... Faith had the visions, and Wesley was contemplating leaving, while Cordelia had grown attached to him recently... somehow, I didn't think Cordy would just let him leave that easily.

[visiongirl]

My eyes widened when Wesley said something about moving on. Moving on? He couldn't just...move on! We needed him around here and why wasn't I getting any backup from Mr. Broods A Lot across the table? We wouldn't have known to go for the throats of those demons if Wesley hadn't been around to help us. Couldn't Angel see that Wesley was just as lost as Faith was, as we all were. Didn't we save souls? Wasn't that our job here? Why wasn't he helping by offering Wes a job? God! Did I have to spell everything out for that manpire?

"What?!" I exclaimed, giving Wes a horrified look. He couldn't leave! Mostly because I've gotten far too attached to him since that whole being kidnapped incident but also because....I didn't have any friends and he'd become one. A really good one and I for one wasn't ready to just let him walk out of L.A. off to get himself killed or God knows what else. "No! I didn't mean it like that, Wes! You can't leave. I just mean, I'd like to have my apartment back...soon. But you should stay in town, I bet if I call my landlord there's probably another vacant apartment in that building, and I'm sure you could find a job here in L.A."

I shot Angel another look that wasn't exactly subtle but he was just staring into space like the useless vampire he was. Hello! Finally I got frustrated and kicked him hard under the table. Time to wake up, Angel! Giving him a hard look I turned my attention back to my pancakes.

Alright, subtelty had never really been my specialty but sometimes you had to take matters into your own hands.

[wickedslayer]

"Ow!" I exclaimed suddenly at the same time as Angel when a sharp heel kicked us both. Clearly C had been meanin' to only kick Soul Boy cause she shot me an apologetic look from across the table. What was that for anyway? Why did she have her panties all in a twist about Wes leavin'? So let him leave already, ain't no skin off my teeth, ya know? Obviously it was better if he just left since I made him so damn uncomfortable and Cor wasn't lettin' me go anywhere. She was the most persistant bitch I'd ever met. Gotta love that conviction. But at least I had the sense to know that mostly I wanted Wesley gone so I wouldn't have to completely face up to what I did to him. So I wouldn't have to apologize for real and see the scars on his face. Except that was the wuss way out and I knew it was. One of these days? I was gonna have to face the music so to speak.

Whatever it was she hopin' for it had nothin' to do with me. She was glancing back and forth between Wes and Angel expectantly and I figured that just made it time for this little slayer to shut her mouth and eat her pancakes. Besides I was startin' to get a wicked headache. Probably from the vision I'd had earlier if that was even what it was. A second calling to bind me to the cause, they sure picked a helluva way to do it by makin' my head feel like it was gonna split right open. The pain of all the people? Seemed wicked harsh to me.

I wondered how often I was gonna have 'em and if they'd always be like that one was. Would I pass out every time and go back to coma land for a little while? Cause I wasn't sure that I could handle that.

Maybe Cordelia was right. Maybe Wes should stay because who the hell else was gonna look into this stuff? Cordy didn't really seem like the research type and I was pretty damn sure that Angel was more like me. Hit things and ask questions later. Could respect a work ethic like that but if there was one thing I'd learned? Sometimes you gotta ask the hard questions first. And fuck me if I'd ever voice that sentiment outloud.

So maybe...just a little bit. I was hoping Cordelia would get her way and Wesley would stay. But I already knew that she would and he would, because it was Cordelia and she had a knack for gettin' what she wanted.

[_wes_pryce_]

I looked up startled when Cordelia suddenly started to talk rather loud. Looking up at her, I blinked at the horrified look on her face. What was that all about? She wanted me gone didn't she? 'Out of the apartment'? wasn't it?

Puzzled I risked a look at Faith, but she as staying quiet and her head down. I had noticed she hardly looked at me these...days. Well, hours, I suppose. Couldn't quite place that either, it made me rather nervous. As though she was up to something, working it out in her mind.

Then I glanced over at Angel. But as expected I didn't get much help there. He was staring just ahead of himself, deeper in thought then anyone I've ever seen. And having gone to the Watcher's academy, that's saying a lot. Then again, he could be pondering the color of the kitchen for all I knew. It's not as though he has many expressions.

"But..." I started and then looked up confused when Faith suddenly let out a shout. I stared at her for am moment and then turned back to Cordelia again. Nervously, I licked my lips and cleared my throat. "But you said you wanted me out of your apartment," I pointed out again.

What does she mean I 'can't leave', and I could find a job here in Los Angels. I had a job dammit. Not that working free lance for the bloody museum was going to get me very far. But it was all I knew. Translating and research. What kind of job can one find with those skills? Especially if you consider my specialty is the super natural.

"I don't really have a reason to stay here in Los Angeles, do I?" I winced at the slightly hopeful tone in my voice. I really didn't have much of a reason did I? Other then...the keeping an eye on Cordelia. But she seems to be handling herself just fine. And Faith was here, just another reason *not* to stay here. And then there was that vampire...

Why exactly was I so hopeful they'd want me to stay here? To help them out? Oh right, yea old 'sense of belonging'. I'm not really sure that counts here. It's more a matter of feeling, of being useful. Though I doubted I could actually be that here.