What a moving moment
its been a while since ive posted and i have a lot to say....but something is really on my heart right now.....so you have to wait for the rest.....
tonight at church we had a True Love Waits Ring Ceremony....Although i had already made the covenant to remain pure until i got married,i was touched beyond imagination tonight. they were talking about how you should save yourself and how it makes things so much more special later. i totatlly believe that, btw. plus, they were talking about how things can get carried away and you have to keep each other accountable. now, yall know me. i have everything planned out. i know what i want. i analyze everything until i go beyond confusion. well...i was sitting there and thinking about what i would do with my ring when i had met the right guy. all i could think about was what i wanted him to say when he proposed and how i wanted him to be like," Give me the priviledge of taking this ring and replacing it with another that means the same thing...but adds the covenant for you to make me the happiest man on earth by being my best friends for all times, whether good, bad, easy, or hard." then, i thought about how on our wedding day i wanted to give it to him before we exchanged rings during a solo and the things that i would say. who was i picturing? noone but kourtney shelley, himself.
i thought about how frustrated ive been at him for not making a move. i thought about how mad i was when he didnt come in that night when i had abra's place to myself. why? why was i like that? looking back, although i wanted him too, i think he was being wise in what he was doing. hes making the right decision in us just being what we are. i may want more, but its not whats right for us right now.
i messed things up, already. i wished that what happened back in october never happened. i cant take things back now. my first kiss is over with...i may have enjoyed it....i may have had a repeat the next night....but i wish that i had waited. furthermore, i wish that i had waited for kourtney. yall just dont get it. im so in love with him.
they say that when you meet the right person you know it. to be honest, i would be totally in shock if turns out not to be the one. i miss him so much...
i dont get why he has such a hard time calling me. i know that hes busy. i need him. just hearing his voice makes me giddy. just knowing that hes thinking about me makes me smile for hours.
i texted him...maybe last night?....and he has yet to reply. i asked him about his spring break. hes thinking about coming down. i dont know if he will. hell be here next month for prom and then in may for graduation. some people were talking about him coming to prom. they asked me what changed. i told them that he dropped cal. they were like, "yeah bc dannette is more important." do yall really think that had a real impact on it? i want to think so. i mean, he was like. "i was so excited bc i thought i did so good and i could come down. then, i got that test and i had failed it." then he asked him about it and he said," im tired of this mess. i was so mad. so i dropped it and ill definitely be there now..." tell me what yall think...
mom asked me about him last night. we talked about things. she wasnt going to let him stay with me after prom. i fixed that. i was proud of myself for standing up about things. she still has no idea whats going on. i want him to come meet my mom during easter break. i think it might help things bc she will at least kinda know him then. she said the problem was that she didnt trust him bc she didnt know him....if she only knew that ive spent all this time wishing that he wasnt so trustable.......
tonight at church we had a True Love Waits Ring Ceremony....Although i had already made the covenant to remain pure until i got married,i was touched beyond imagination tonight. they were talking about how you should save yourself and how it makes things so much more special later. i totatlly believe that, btw. plus, they were talking about how things can get carried away and you have to keep each other accountable. now, yall know me. i have everything planned out. i know what i want. i analyze everything until i go beyond confusion. well...i was sitting there and thinking about what i would do with my ring when i had met the right guy. all i could think about was what i wanted him to say when he proposed and how i wanted him to be like," Give me the priviledge of taking this ring and replacing it with another that means the same thing...but adds the covenant for you to make me the happiest man on earth by being my best friends for all times, whether good, bad, easy, or hard." then, i thought about how on our wedding day i wanted to give it to him before we exchanged rings during a solo and the things that i would say. who was i picturing? noone but kourtney shelley, himself.
i thought about how frustrated ive been at him for not making a move. i thought about how mad i was when he didnt come in that night when i had abra's place to myself. why? why was i like that? looking back, although i wanted him too, i think he was being wise in what he was doing. hes making the right decision in us just being what we are. i may want more, but its not whats right for us right now.
i messed things up, already. i wished that what happened back in october never happened. i cant take things back now. my first kiss is over with...i may have enjoyed it....i may have had a repeat the next night....but i wish that i had waited. furthermore, i wish that i had waited for kourtney. yall just dont get it. im so in love with him.
they say that when you meet the right person you know it. to be honest, i would be totally in shock if turns out not to be the one. i miss him so much...
i dont get why he has such a hard time calling me. i know that hes busy. i need him. just hearing his voice makes me giddy. just knowing that hes thinking about me makes me smile for hours.
i texted him...maybe last night?....and he has yet to reply. i asked him about his spring break. hes thinking about coming down. i dont know if he will. hell be here next month for prom and then in may for graduation. some people were talking about him coming to prom. they asked me what changed. i told them that he dropped cal. they were like, "yeah bc dannette is more important." do yall really think that had a real impact on it? i want to think so. i mean, he was like. "i was so excited bc i thought i did so good and i could come down. then, i got that test and i had failed it." then he asked him about it and he said," im tired of this mess. i was so mad. so i dropped it and ill definitely be there now..." tell me what yall think...
mom asked me about him last night. we talked about things. she wasnt going to let him stay with me after prom. i fixed that. i was proud of myself for standing up about things. she still has no idea whats going on. i want him to come meet my mom during easter break. i think it might help things bc she will at least kinda know him then. she said the problem was that she didnt trust him bc she didnt know him....if she only knew that ive spent all this time wishing that he wasnt so trustable.......