(no subject)
its 02:38 A.M. i JUST finished my government packet. i still have to read for Hoffman. plus, i still have to study for physics and A.P. chem. WHAT THE CRAP?
i just REALLY needed a break. so...here i am.
im going to Bham Sunday. im staying at Abra's with Britt. it'll be fun. :) im suppose to go out with Kourtney. yeah, i think i owe him that. im just afraid of what will happen. he will not fool me again. i am on guard. however, he does have a special way with me. i havent been able to figure it out. im more worried now than ever.
i talked to C.S. tonight. it was SO great. he's been so busy with R and N. i feel totally neglected. he made me feel special. he told me that i was almost at the top of his important list. that meant a lot to me. anyway, Kourtney managed to get brought up. so, he asked what was going on. being C.S., i wasnt hesistant about talking, we're just close like that. so, i told him what was going on and you won't believe what he told me. he said that he did the exact thing to R, just not to that extent. he would ignore her when they were together for other girls. so.....thats scary. Kourtney prob wants what im finally getting over wanting. i dont know if id be able to truly stand my ground for long.
i called Teyei tonight but he was asleep. so, i didnt get to ask him about this weekend. im definitely going to ask him tomorrow. i NEED to know what he wants. its kinda my indication. i think the reason i havent talked to him is that he isnt use to this late night talk. our week long 3 A.M. talks got to him. i think its cute.
i dont want to worry anymore. i just want things to happen and be myself. i dont want to worry about making everyone happy. i dont want to hurt anyone, but maybe its time that i was the one doing the hurting.
i just REALLY needed a break. so...here i am.
im going to Bham Sunday. im staying at Abra's with Britt. it'll be fun. :) im suppose to go out with Kourtney. yeah, i think i owe him that. im just afraid of what will happen. he will not fool me again. i am on guard. however, he does have a special way with me. i havent been able to figure it out. im more worried now than ever.
i talked to C.S. tonight. it was SO great. he's been so busy with R and N. i feel totally neglected. he made me feel special. he told me that i was almost at the top of his important list. that meant a lot to me. anyway, Kourtney managed to get brought up. so, he asked what was going on. being C.S., i wasnt hesistant about talking, we're just close like that. so, i told him what was going on and you won't believe what he told me. he said that he did the exact thing to R, just not to that extent. he would ignore her when they were together for other girls. so.....thats scary. Kourtney prob wants what im finally getting over wanting. i dont know if id be able to truly stand my ground for long.
i called Teyei tonight but he was asleep. so, i didnt get to ask him about this weekend. im definitely going to ask him tomorrow. i NEED to know what he wants. its kinda my indication. i think the reason i havent talked to him is that he isnt use to this late night talk. our week long 3 A.M. talks got to him. i think its cute.
i dont want to worry anymore. i just want things to happen and be myself. i dont want to worry about making everyone happy. i dont want to hurt anyone, but maybe its time that i was the one doing the hurting.