Don't let the world mess up your soul...
I bought a wireless keyboard and mouse the other day. Paid $90 for the set... and I explained to my roommate that if it got damaged, I'd castrate him in his sleep. It's a friggin' sweet setup, made by Logitech. The damn mouse has a laser in it. And not like the optical laser that you see in most mice... an actual laser. They rock and I'd recommend any of there products.
I feel like I'm wasting my time with my emotions... putting my entire life on hold just so someone can make up there mind and commit. I can imagine it's a hard decision... but when you really look at it, it's not. I've been there for her whenever she needed me... so why would now be any different. It sucks because I feel like I'm sitting on my hands. When she visited the other week, she was so intent on convincing me to move with her... and now that I've changed my whole plans to accommodate her needs, I'm getting the cold shoulder and being ignored. It feels like I've been led away and left out in the middle of nowhere alone.
And now she's telling me to leave her alone. C'mon, what the fuck is wrong with you!
Oh well... at least I've got some closure on this whole thing. I need to live my life the way I want to, not for anyone else. Why is it that I keep falling back into the same routines as I did before? I put up defenses against them, and it's like the enemy walks right through them every time. As soon as I put my life in someone else's hands, I get crushed, hurt or abandoned. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of people. I'm sick of the way they are and the way they act, even my own actions. We are all fucked in the head.
On that note, I'm gonna go clean my house. Cleaning is the only thing that makes me happy, it seems... and thats only because of my OCD.
I could use some company...
I feel like I'm wasting my time with my emotions... putting my entire life on hold just so someone can make up there mind and commit. I can imagine it's a hard decision... but when you really look at it, it's not. I've been there for her whenever she needed me... so why would now be any different. It sucks because I feel like I'm sitting on my hands. When she visited the other week, she was so intent on convincing me to move with her... and now that I've changed my whole plans to accommodate her needs, I'm getting the cold shoulder and being ignored. It feels like I've been led away and left out in the middle of nowhere alone.
And now she's telling me to leave her alone. C'mon, what the fuck is wrong with you!
Oh well... at least I've got some closure on this whole thing. I need to live my life the way I want to, not for anyone else. Why is it that I keep falling back into the same routines as I did before? I put up defenses against them, and it's like the enemy walks right through them every time. As soon as I put my life in someone else's hands, I get crushed, hurt or abandoned. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of people. I'm sick of the way they are and the way they act, even my own actions. We are all fucked in the head.
On that note, I'm gonna go clean my house. Cleaning is the only thing that makes me happy, it seems... and thats only because of my OCD.
I could use some company...