rip grandmaaaaaaa
The past week has had some sucky days and not so sucky days. Tuesday I found out that my Grandma Bella was dying since Saturday, but no one had the right mind to tell me or my sister. So, Tuesday I went there and met my sister and my dad, but my Grandma was already unconscious and septic. Wednesday, my sister and I decided to visit again, but she died 1 hour before we got there. I wish school didn't ruin my life so I could have gone before.
You see, there are some people in life that you wish you were closer to and my Granny was one of them. Since my parents got divorced I didn't get to bond with that side of the family as much as my sister did. I have no doubt in my mind that she loved me and that I loved her, but I hope that she wanted to see me more as much as I wanted to see her more. And now I'm tearing up about this but I can't seem to really cry about it. I know eventually something little will make me very upset and I'll start crying for nothing. For example, today at work a balloon popped on me and I almost started crying even though i wasn't in pain, but something little/dumb will bring the tears. My Bella side, laughs it off and makes jokes about the emotional pain, but Bella's secretly cry when we're alone from something as little as a balloon popping. I guess I'll end up holding everyting in until something triggers and i just overflow with tears. I just hope it doesn't happen at work or school. The funeral is Tuesday so maybe I'll burst then.
On a brighter note, Tuesday, a guy that might sell me a car is coming to show me it. I have $5500 dollars saved in an account and he will sell me a black Infinity for $4500 dollars with a warranty. But i must see it before I make my choice. It's not my beetle bug, but it might do.
The annual German Parade was Saturday and it amazing as always! I carried the banner for my German club and waved to everyone in my little dirndle. It's sad that yesterday was the last German parade we'll ever do again cause everyone in the club is getting so old they can't keep up with it. Everyone just seems to be dying off.
After the German Parade I went to lovely Jen's sweet sixteen and danced like a proud moron. And today I was dead at work cause I was soo tired and still am. And now.. well school still ruins my life with homework.
Until next time.
You see, there are some people in life that you wish you were closer to and my Granny was one of them. Since my parents got divorced I didn't get to bond with that side of the family as much as my sister did. I have no doubt in my mind that she loved me and that I loved her, but I hope that she wanted to see me more as much as I wanted to see her more. And now I'm tearing up about this but I can't seem to really cry about it. I know eventually something little will make me very upset and I'll start crying for nothing. For example, today at work a balloon popped on me and I almost started crying even though i wasn't in pain, but something little/dumb will bring the tears. My Bella side, laughs it off and makes jokes about the emotional pain, but Bella's secretly cry when we're alone from something as little as a balloon popping. I guess I'll end up holding everyting in until something triggers and i just overflow with tears. I just hope it doesn't happen at work or school. The funeral is Tuesday so maybe I'll burst then.
On a brighter note, Tuesday, a guy that might sell me a car is coming to show me it. I have $5500 dollars saved in an account and he will sell me a black Infinity for $4500 dollars with a warranty. But i must see it before I make my choice. It's not my beetle bug, but it might do.
The annual German Parade was Saturday and it amazing as always! I carried the banner for my German club and waved to everyone in my little dirndle. It's sad that yesterday was the last German parade we'll ever do again cause everyone in the club is getting so old they can't keep up with it. Everyone just seems to be dying off.
After the German Parade I went to lovely Jen's sweet sixteen and danced like a proud moron. And today I was dead at work cause I was soo tired and still am. And now.. well school still ruins my life with homework.
Until next time.