He's the King of the Llamas
Well, I've gotten into the swing of things here at college. I feel comfortable, comfortable with myself, who I am, what I wear, what I do. It's a really relaxing feeling, to stop struggling against the current of who you are. Now, I'm just me. I'm not comprimising myself for anyone else. I got a new roommate, and she's not a bitch! Thank god that the Chi Omegan is gone, living with her made life far too stressful. I bought my first carton like a true smoker. I sprained my ankle playing frisbee and had to hobble around on crutches for a little while.
I feel strange, even though its comfortable. In the daylight, I'm relishing being alive, listening to my music, appreciating the beauty around me and thinking that its a great time to be alive. I'm truly enjoying life, even if it is in Missouri. But around midnight, if I'm not doing anything with friends or studying, I get really sad. I guess its just too much dwelling on the loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate being single. I don't have to tell anyone what I'm doing, where I'm going, I don't have to expend effort to meet someone else's expectations. And thats definitely a good thing. I'm not looking for anyone, but there are nights that I just feel terribly lonely. I realized that I had reached a low point when weekend before last I was making out with a guy and I actually got bored of it, and kicked him out, said I was going to bed. BORED, of making out? When has that ever happened in a one night hookup? There was just no feeling in it, and no point to it. We do expend a lot of energy worrying about relationships, as a friend of mine said, thinking about them, getting them, having them, keeping them, losing them. And I can be perfectly happy without one, but like I said, there are lonely times that are hard to get around.
So, coming from this stream of thought, I think that there may be something on the horizon. I don't know if I want something to tie me here or not, because I already put in my application to CU Denver. I haven't decided whether or not I'm really going to go or not. Here I have my Quinnitita, I have a couple other good friends, but if something big relationship wise were to happen, I would just stay. And its not really a bad thing, I mean, the only reason I want to transfer is because Missouri is dull. Its not necessary, and my chances for med school are actually better if I stay here. Oh well, we'll see.
Other than that, I've just been existing, studying, taking my first bio and chem classes, getting used to lab and trying to become comfortable in these new surroundings with new people in an atmosphere that seems to be oppresive. If anyone is in the mood for really good historical fiction, try Margaret George, she's written a Mary Queen of Scots, Mary called Magdalene, Memoirs of Cleopatra, and she's working on Helen of Troy. She's amazing, so try it out if you've got the time. Well, I've got to be at bio lab in about twenty minutes. One foot in front of the other. Is the struggle really gone then?
I feel strange, even though its comfortable. In the daylight, I'm relishing being alive, listening to my music, appreciating the beauty around me and thinking that its a great time to be alive. I'm truly enjoying life, even if it is in Missouri. But around midnight, if I'm not doing anything with friends or studying, I get really sad. I guess its just too much dwelling on the loneliness. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate being single. I don't have to tell anyone what I'm doing, where I'm going, I don't have to expend effort to meet someone else's expectations. And thats definitely a good thing. I'm not looking for anyone, but there are nights that I just feel terribly lonely. I realized that I had reached a low point when weekend before last I was making out with a guy and I actually got bored of it, and kicked him out, said I was going to bed. BORED, of making out? When has that ever happened in a one night hookup? There was just no feeling in it, and no point to it. We do expend a lot of energy worrying about relationships, as a friend of mine said, thinking about them, getting them, having them, keeping them, losing them. And I can be perfectly happy without one, but like I said, there are lonely times that are hard to get around.
So, coming from this stream of thought, I think that there may be something on the horizon. I don't know if I want something to tie me here or not, because I already put in my application to CU Denver. I haven't decided whether or not I'm really going to go or not. Here I have my Quinnitita, I have a couple other good friends, but if something big relationship wise were to happen, I would just stay. And its not really a bad thing, I mean, the only reason I want to transfer is because Missouri is dull. Its not necessary, and my chances for med school are actually better if I stay here. Oh well, we'll see.
Other than that, I've just been existing, studying, taking my first bio and chem classes, getting used to lab and trying to become comfortable in these new surroundings with new people in an atmosphere that seems to be oppresive. If anyone is in the mood for really good historical fiction, try Margaret George, she's written a Mary Queen of Scots, Mary called Magdalene, Memoirs of Cleopatra, and she's working on Helen of Troy. She's amazing, so try it out if you've got the time. Well, I've got to be at bio lab in about twenty minutes. One foot in front of the other. Is the struggle really gone then?