A take of Alice, Bob, and Eve
So an interesting situation has fallen into my lap, and as usual I have turned to the hopeless abyss that is LiveJournal to sort out my thoughts. This is going to look a lot like a bitch fest, and even more like I am trying to cut down my friends and ex-friends. This is NOT the case. Still... I have this sinking feeling posting this is only going to make thing worse...
Recently two friends of mine who were dating broke up (from now on referred to as Alice and Bob). In the break-up, I did not get caught in the middle so much as was called upon for insight into some events that happened before the breakup, but by no means had anything to do with it. Basically Alice thought that something happened between Bob and another friend (lets go with Eve) on one of the nights. I explained the events of both nights with honesty because, as I firmly believe, nothing of consequence happened either time. While Bob and Eve were close most of the night, it was a freakin' Porn Party and they shared some of the most innocent of interactions of the night. I know nothing of the emotions underneath, and should not be expected to read into it.
So, after explaining what happened to Alice, all seemed well. Though their relationship was dying, I felt like I did what I could at allay fears of misconduct. Unfortunately, Bob and Eve had other thoughts. Apparently my attempt to help both of my friends backfired worse than I could have ever imagined. Bob felt that I violated his trust, and perhaps rightly so, in telling Alice. To my knowledge Bob and I are not on speaking terms. In fact, as an additional slap in the face, he "unfriended" AND blocked me on facebook. Behavior I could expect from an adolescent boy, but not a peer. An act of cowardice that, for better or worse, sealed the fate of that friendship without question.
Furthermore, apparently Eve felt that her reputation had been damaged and her character questioned by my telling of events. This was a completely unforeseen occurrence that has blindsided me enough that I don't really know what, if anything, can be done about it. At the moment I am hoping that time and distance will cure the wounds.
To my knowledge the only person who ISN'T mad at me is Alice, so I guess it could be worse.
That. Being. Said.
I am at an interesting point. As a general rule I do not like losing an argument, nor do I like getting into them in the first place. Bob and I had an argument that I lost by virtue of not knowing that we were having it. Not only that but he got the last word by severing ties without me noticing. To this day I have no idea when the "unfriending" happened. So that, paired with my disdain for the way things have gone down, have led to to believe that while I will always be bitter that no real resolution was reached, the friendship is over and not worthy of a salvaging attempt. Sad, but Bob's actions speak volumes about his character, or lack thereof.
Additionally, I have no idea what to do with Eve. I have always been as nice as possible to her and afforded her every courtesy that I could. Considering my choice of profession it is amazing to me that I could be that constantly pleasant to someone. So I am not really sure what should be done in order to repair hurt feelings. Right now my choice is nothing, feeling at least a little betrayed by the whole situation. But I hope at some point we can come to an understanding and move past all this.
Or not. Whatever.
Decisions decisions....
Recently two friends of mine who were dating broke up (from now on referred to as Alice and Bob). In the break-up, I did not get caught in the middle so much as was called upon for insight into some events that happened before the breakup, but by no means had anything to do with it. Basically Alice thought that something happened between Bob and another friend (lets go with Eve) on one of the nights. I explained the events of both nights with honesty because, as I firmly believe, nothing of consequence happened either time. While Bob and Eve were close most of the night, it was a freakin' Porn Party and they shared some of the most innocent of interactions of the night. I know nothing of the emotions underneath, and should not be expected to read into it.
So, after explaining what happened to Alice, all seemed well. Though their relationship was dying, I felt like I did what I could at allay fears of misconduct. Unfortunately, Bob and Eve had other thoughts. Apparently my attempt to help both of my friends backfired worse than I could have ever imagined. Bob felt that I violated his trust, and perhaps rightly so, in telling Alice. To my knowledge Bob and I are not on speaking terms. In fact, as an additional slap in the face, he "unfriended" AND blocked me on facebook. Behavior I could expect from an adolescent boy, but not a peer. An act of cowardice that, for better or worse, sealed the fate of that friendship without question.
Furthermore, apparently Eve felt that her reputation had been damaged and her character questioned by my telling of events. This was a completely unforeseen occurrence that has blindsided me enough that I don't really know what, if anything, can be done about it. At the moment I am hoping that time and distance will cure the wounds.
To my knowledge the only person who ISN'T mad at me is Alice, so I guess it could be worse.
That. Being. Said.
I am at an interesting point. As a general rule I do not like losing an argument, nor do I like getting into them in the first place. Bob and I had an argument that I lost by virtue of not knowing that we were having it. Not only that but he got the last word by severing ties without me noticing. To this day I have no idea when the "unfriending" happened. So that, paired with my disdain for the way things have gone down, have led to to believe that while I will always be bitter that no real resolution was reached, the friendship is over and not worthy of a salvaging attempt. Sad, but Bob's actions speak volumes about his character, or lack thereof.
Additionally, I have no idea what to do with Eve. I have always been as nice as possible to her and afforded her every courtesy that I could. Considering my choice of profession it is amazing to me that I could be that constantly pleasant to someone. So I am not really sure what should be done in order to repair hurt feelings. Right now my choice is nothing, feeling at least a little betrayed by the whole situation. But I hope at some point we can come to an understanding and move past all this.
Or not. Whatever.
Decisions decisions....