(no subject)
So basically, Snakes on a Plane accidentally managed to be the funniest movie that I have seen all year.
Highlights of Snakes on a Plane:
Man killed by stiletto from a high heal
Man has dick (which he referred to as "my big boy) bitten off by snake, and then waved said snake around yelling "Get this snake of my dick!" (The phallic symbol of it all ... priceless!)
The snakes becoming vicious and attacking because of phermones sprayed on leis - "Snakes on crack?!"
Bizarre sexual tension between Samuel L Jackson and the witness that he was protecting (I mean, it wasn't really conventionally slashy, but it was there. I eventually just wrote it off to Samuel L Jackson's chemistry with EVERYONE, because that man could have chemistry with a tree. Or Keanue Reeves. Which is basically the same thing.)
Man is killed by giant python with abnormal teeth (ala Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) and then swallowed whole (after consuming a wiener dog that the man threw to the snake to keep from being eaten)
Random thoughts of Orientalism when the bad guys were revealed to be the Chinese mob.
Man miraculously landing plane after only doing it in video games.
Snakes popping up in inexplicable places (My favorite was probably from the toilet, but that is only because I was having thoughts of Red, White, or Blue where dead!Bob talks to Buck through the toilet)
Woman dies in mid-coitus by snake bite to nipple
"I need the best snake expert in this time zone!"
The music video for the song at the end of the movie (I mean, not only was there a song about this movie - which I need to own - but they made a music video! And it SUCKED. There are really no words for how hilariously bad this video was)
And, finally, "I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane! I'm going to open me some fucking windows!"
In conclusion, this was a really baaaad movie that should not be seen unless you really love bad movies. Which I do. I think that this may be a character defect, but it does make for some really fun nights watching Sci-Fi. (Mammoth!)
Highlights of Snakes on a Plane:
Man killed by stiletto from a high heal
Man has dick (which he referred to as "my big boy) bitten off by snake, and then waved said snake around yelling "Get this snake of my dick!" (The phallic symbol of it all ... priceless!)
The snakes becoming vicious and attacking because of phermones sprayed on leis - "Snakes on crack?!"
Bizarre sexual tension between Samuel L Jackson and the witness that he was protecting (I mean, it wasn't really conventionally slashy, but it was there. I eventually just wrote it off to Samuel L Jackson's chemistry with EVERYONE, because that man could have chemistry with a tree. Or Keanue Reeves. Which is basically the same thing.)
Man is killed by giant python with abnormal teeth (ala Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) and then swallowed whole (after consuming a wiener dog that the man threw to the snake to keep from being eaten)
Random thoughts of Orientalism when the bad guys were revealed to be the Chinese mob.
Man miraculously landing plane after only doing it in video games.
Snakes popping up in inexplicable places (My favorite was probably from the toilet, but that is only because I was having thoughts of Red, White, or Blue where dead!Bob talks to Buck through the toilet)
Woman dies in mid-coitus by snake bite to nipple
"I need the best snake expert in this time zone!"
The music video for the song at the end of the movie (I mean, not only was there a song about this movie - which I need to own - but they made a music video! And it SUCKED. There are really no words for how hilariously bad this video was)
And, finally, "I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane! I'm going to open me some fucking windows!"
In conclusion, this was a really baaaad movie that should not be seen unless you really love bad movies. Which I do. I think that this may be a character defect, but it does make for some really fun nights watching Sci-Fi. (Mammoth!)