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a few days is a long time and so is a few weeks, which turn into a few months and a few years. i created this on february 29, 2004 when i was 13. now i'm 17 and this isn't really a big deal to me, i just feel like doing this obligation. i mean, what is there to say? i was 13, then i was 14, 15, 16, etc. i am not well prepared for a retrospective. even now, this isn't coming out right. i guess after four years it's still hard for me to post an entry on my livejournal without sounding like i'm jerking off my ego. if nothing else, this is a cool (and sometimes scary) account of what went through my mind for a lot of high school. somewhere along the way i stopped giving that much of a shit about articulating every thought i had when i went somewhere or met someone new. what's the use in trying to really, completely justify everything i've written over the last four years? nobody reads livejournal anymore. i'm just doing this out of obligation. i swear. really. i am a senior in high school. i've got weird hair on my body and funny feelings about girls! i live in west gloucester. do you want more information? anyone looking to rape and murder me should just speak now and save himself the hassle of figuring out more information. the internet is weird! i growed up a lot. and i groweding up a lot. next year is hampshire college and that's where i'm going to be. now i can go to school and learn how to be a pretentious, glorified art school dweeb with a gazillion dollar education i'm never going to be able to pay back. it's snowing now and it's been doing that off and on for the past couple days. my guitar is out of commission and i feel all this creative back up. it's like i haven't jerked off in a while. that sort of dull pain from some sort of build up on the inside. it makes me feel bloated and lazy. what's the use in trying to realy, completely justify everything i've written over the last four years? part of me wishes livejournal would suffer a massive data loss or, i don't know, just fucking blow up, because this same part of me wants to erase this entire thing. but another part of me won't. you know, as inane and lame and pretentious and whatever negative adjective someone wants to throw on this, i made it. it's mine and i guess the internet's but he doesn't really count. google probably owns this, too, those shitty cunts. really though, who's going to read this entry? emily in a few weeks or months? maybe colleen? in light of recent events riley and mike d? you know, i've still got a lot to say and livejournal just isn't the medium. maybe blogspot is. maybe reality is. i know that all this time i've spent in my boring fucking house in my boring fucking room has not been in vain. i'm finally going to do. really DO. you know? this is about me. me me me. nobody else. me. that's who. who? me. fuck your face. even this entry is for me. and i guess google, if you want to get technical. those shitty cunts. i've been sharpening my teeth for four years. now i have to use them for something.