Vampiric watermelons
"... manifestations are not to be confused with vampires that were never human in the first place, which may even assume a vegetal guise (among numerous indignities through history, the Roma suffered the obscure nuisance of vampire watermelons)."
from "Twilight of the Vampires: Hunting the real-life undead" by Tea Obreht in the November issue of Harper's.
And furthermore, "...most firsthand [Balkan] accounts indicate that male vampires are ruddy, corpulent peasants, whose affect--once unearthed--is that of a freshly gorged mosquito."
So romantic!
from "Twilight of the Vampires: Hunting the real-life undead" by Tea Obreht in the November issue of Harper's.
And furthermore, "...most firsthand [Balkan] accounts indicate that male vampires are ruddy, corpulent peasants, whose affect--once unearthed--is that of a freshly gorged mosquito."
So romantic!