Were You Spanked?
I was.
In Philo1 the other day, our prof asked us if:
1. Were you spanked?
2. Would you do that do your kids?
But I was hardly spanked. My parents were attentive in disciplining their kids. But rather than using the pamalo to pound in a lesson, they would explain why a certain action was wrong. I'm thankful that my parents brought me up this way... that despite my youth they treated me as a reasonable and thinking being. Because of this, I avoided doing certain things, not because it was "bad" but because I understood the consequences of the action. This rearing up through reason also instilled values of being considerate, being a good sister (Bea and I fought a lot when we were kids), and the Golden rule at an early age.
One of the few incidences I was spanked.
I was in grade 2, and my mom used to tutor me in Chinese. I really hated having to memorize all the phonetics and characters, and was impatient to get it over with. So, while reviewing for the mock test, I wrote the answers on my hand.
But I was caught.
So my mom goes, "Barby, go downstairs to get the featherduster"
And I go down. (eeep!) But instead of getting it, I chose to hide in the helper's room. (yeah, yeah, talino diba?) After several minutes my mom shouted, "BARBY, WHERE ARE YOU?"
I remained silent and hoped she wouldn't find me. Eventually came down and spanked me on the hand. Afterwads, she told me that she loves me very much and explained the consequences of cheating.
I really deserved it in this instance because I was acting like a spoiled (and lazy) brat.
If I have kids in the future, I would bring them up in the same way. Even though kids can be rowdy, they're also beings with minds and sensibilities. If I say to my child "Don't do that! Bad yan!" I risk two things: one, my child being stigmatized as being "bad" (and what child wants to be labelled as bad person? it's a bit traumatising, isn't it?), and secondly, not nipping the problem in the bud. I don't believe in threatening my child or hitting them or spanking them, unless the situation absolutely absolutely reasonably calls for it.
I'd like my children to act sensibly and correctly, not out of fear, but out of understanding. :)
Proverbs 3:11-12
11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.
Proverbs 12:24
He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;
he will bring delight to your soul.
Note:
1. In disciplining my kids (if I ever do have any) I would consider their ages as well.
2. I don't like parents who "power trip" on their kids. Yung abuso na. That makes me very angry.
In Philo1 the other day, our prof asked us if:
1. Were you spanked?
2. Would you do that do your kids?
But I was hardly spanked. My parents were attentive in disciplining their kids. But rather than using the pamalo to pound in a lesson, they would explain why a certain action was wrong. I'm thankful that my parents brought me up this way... that despite my youth they treated me as a reasonable and thinking being. Because of this, I avoided doing certain things, not because it was "bad" but because I understood the consequences of the action. This rearing up through reason also instilled values of being considerate, being a good sister (Bea and I fought a lot when we were kids), and the Golden rule at an early age.
One of the few incidences I was spanked.
I was in grade 2, and my mom used to tutor me in Chinese. I really hated having to memorize all the phonetics and characters, and was impatient to get it over with. So, while reviewing for the mock test, I wrote the answers on my hand.
But I was caught.
So my mom goes, "Barby, go downstairs to get the featherduster"
And I go down. (eeep!) But instead of getting it, I chose to hide in the helper's room. (yeah, yeah, talino diba?) After several minutes my mom shouted, "BARBY, WHERE ARE YOU?"
I remained silent and hoped she wouldn't find me. Eventually came down and spanked me on the hand. Afterwads, she told me that she loves me very much and explained the consequences of cheating.
I really deserved it in this instance because I was acting like a spoiled (and lazy) brat.
If I have kids in the future, I would bring them up in the same way. Even though kids can be rowdy, they're also beings with minds and sensibilities. If I say to my child "Don't do that! Bad yan!" I risk two things: one, my child being stigmatized as being "bad" (and what child wants to be labelled as bad person? it's a bit traumatising, isn't it?), and secondly, not nipping the problem in the bud. I don't believe in threatening my child or hitting them or spanking them, unless the situation absolutely absolutely reasonably calls for it.
I'd like my children to act sensibly and correctly, not out of fear, but out of understanding. :)
Proverbs 3:11-12
11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.
Proverbs 12:24
He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;
he will bring delight to your soul.
Note:
1. In disciplining my kids (if I ever do have any) I would consider their ages as well.
2. I don't like parents who "power trip" on their kids. Yung abuso na. That makes me very angry.