tired
well, tired is the best word for the subject of this entry. school has finally started and in the second week, i am still excited about it all. got all five questions right *out of five* on my first quiz. little effort in getting a 100 on that quiz, but if it was not for studying the night prior, i would have no clue what i was doing.
moved out of my apartment and my roomie moved away to raliegh. besides almost killing a small boy and sending him to the hospital (he is ok, i promise) the 10 and a half hours of lifting and driving and moving, was well worth it all. i smoked my last cig on the balcony friday night and thought about all the memories amy and i had made in our year of living there. i miss it already and i'll never forget my first apartment and roomate. we had great times and they will stay with me forever. i almost had a tear realizing that i have to move back in with momz, but i know now, after living on my own for a year without help from anybody, that it will be easy to once again move out and move on. bringing random friends over late at night and never worrying about what anybody will think, that is what i will miss most. the parties and having friends get together in my own space. not worrying about a mess in the morning b/c most of the time i enjoyed it. picking up the empty liquor bottle that had gotten me wasted the night before or finding an expired VIP card that i must renew once again. i have realized that i have become somebody here at the beach, and i intend to keep it this way, regardless of where i live. my friends are moving away and i feel the need only to get out more just to find a new gal to make memories with. amy was my soulmate (i mean as a friend) and i could only wish to find someone as great as her as a new living partner. i will subside and come back again, so watch out world!! i'm on the way ;)
i am, once again, on the rebound. although i never officially had a b/f (it just didn't work that way to me), it was nice to have a person to lay by at night and have (somewhat) feelings for. it didn't last long and i guess that is my fault, b/c, as always, i pushed it away. i am not worried though, b/c i always seem to make up for it in the end. in the end meaning, soon, i hope! it's the cold season and i miss having a warm body to lie next to at night. by living w/ my momz it will be hard and i'm not fond of spending a lot of time away from my humble abode. so having a man/grl is even harder considering if i do want to have a 'cuddle' buddy, its outside of my living quarters.
i have been alone a lot lately, mainly b/c my mother was out of town with the 'fight' and all. my older sis is in a serious relationship and she's always gone. i can handle it though. alone time is probably good for me considering i have been studying for classes. my grades have to be good this semester in order to stay out of academic detention.
i went shopping today and spent the last of my money. the money i was suppose to use to fix my car, in which the brakes are metal to metal at this point. it's so bad that i can't stop anymore. i keep spending on clothes and stupid shi* that i just don't need. my school check will take care of my debts owed to family *and amy* as well as a new car.
anyways, i have to go... more later *kiss kiss* (american idol is on..yay)