[Bialogue Action Alert]: 'Dear Margo' misses the mark
In her advice column of Friday December 28th 2007 entitled "Oh, the Things You Find Out Online", Margo Howard (daughter of the late Ann Landers) advised a married man who found himself blurting out "I love you" to a male friend that, "You are gay" and some how unaccountably left out the "B" word.
While in general Margo was gay-positive, to-the-point and correct in telling him that he was most likely NOT straight and to seek counselling, this over-site on her part could have a significant and negative impact on this man and his family's life.
Please help.
Contact Margo (direct e-mails do not seem to be allowed, you must click on the link provided and respond via a form in the column) and discuss the existence and possibility of 'DAZED AND CONFUSED' being a repressed, heavily closeted, married BISEXUAL man. Hopefully she will prove to be as intelligent and open-minded as she seems and will quickly correct this omission on her part.
Here is the link and the column:
http://news.yahoo.com/b/dear_margo/margo_howard20071228
DEAR MARGO:
I find myself in a predicament that I never in a million years would have predicted. I am a 25-year-old man who is married to a beautiful, committed wife. Recently, I was chatting online and met a guy. He was funny and quick-witted. After a while we exchanged numbers and have talked for more than two hours every night since. Margo, I hate talking on the phone! Last night we were talking and laughing together, and after a moment of silence, I said, "God, I love you." I immediately apologized, but he said, "Don't." He said he has been fighting saying it, too.
Margo, we are both straight, and we both believe homosexuality is a sin. Neither of us knows what is going on. I haven't had any desire to spend time with my wife since this person came into my life. I only want to talk with "Matt." What is going on?
--- DAZED AND CONFUSED
DEAR DAZE:
Let us recap: You "met" a guy online. You've been talking with him on the phone for two hours a night -- and you hate phone conversations. You told him you loved him; he said he's been having the same thought. The two of you believe homosexuality to be a sin. Since you and cyber-friend "met," you have had zero interest in your wife.
These things would not, could not happen to a straight man. You are gay, my friend, though heavily repressed because . . . it would be sinful. I believe you and this other chap are so closeted that you've been hiding from yourselves. Because of your religious convictions, I am pretty sure there's an element of self-loathing, if only at the subconscious level.
I would suggest you seek professional help and guidance. Get the national number for GLBT counselling referrals. And perhaps take a break from "Matt" until your identity question is settled, one way or the other.
--- MARGO, STARTLINGLY
this is being X-Posted to other bisexual communities, listservs, etc. -- please send a comment in yourself and then x-post it to anyplace you think might be good
While in general Margo was gay-positive, to-the-point and correct in telling him that he was most likely NOT straight and to seek counselling, this over-site on her part could have a significant and negative impact on this man and his family's life.
Please help.
Contact Margo (direct e-mails do not seem to be allowed, you must click on the link provided and respond via a form in the column) and discuss the existence and possibility of 'DAZED AND CONFUSED' being a repressed, heavily closeted, married BISEXUAL man. Hopefully she will prove to be as intelligent and open-minded as she seems and will quickly correct this omission on her part.
Here is the link and the column:
http://news.yahoo.com/b/dear_margo/margo_howard20071228
DEAR MARGO:
I find myself in a predicament that I never in a million years would have predicted. I am a 25-year-old man who is married to a beautiful, committed wife. Recently, I was chatting online and met a guy. He was funny and quick-witted. After a while we exchanged numbers and have talked for more than two hours every night since. Margo, I hate talking on the phone! Last night we were talking and laughing together, and after a moment of silence, I said, "God, I love you." I immediately apologized, but he said, "Don't." He said he has been fighting saying it, too.
Margo, we are both straight, and we both believe homosexuality is a sin. Neither of us knows what is going on. I haven't had any desire to spend time with my wife since this person came into my life. I only want to talk with "Matt." What is going on?
--- DAZED AND CONFUSED
DEAR DAZE:
Let us recap: You "met" a guy online. You've been talking with him on the phone for two hours a night -- and you hate phone conversations. You told him you loved him; he said he's been having the same thought. The two of you believe homosexuality to be a sin. Since you and cyber-friend "met," you have had zero interest in your wife.
These things would not, could not happen to a straight man. You are gay, my friend, though heavily repressed because . . . it would be sinful. I believe you and this other chap are so closeted that you've been hiding from yourselves. Because of your religious convictions, I am pretty sure there's an element of self-loathing, if only at the subconscious level.
I would suggest you seek professional help and guidance. Get the national number for GLBT counselling referrals. And perhaps take a break from "Matt" until your identity question is settled, one way or the other.
--- MARGO, STARTLINGLY
this is being X-Posted to other bisexual communities, listservs, etc. -- please send a comment in yourself and then x-post it to anyplace you think might be good