oh goodness

[bialek88]

well lauren, now i know you read my journals, so ill let you know this much, i feel how i feel, and i told carter this seeing as he was very obvious to figure it was him. I dont know the kid but ill tell you what i told him

Comments

[be_it_let]

Nick. there were two reasons why I checked your journal. Number one, because someone left a comment in my journal and it sounded a lot like you. and.. it made sense that it would be you so I was like hm.. k. what the hell. but I just left it alone until I was sure it was you.
Then, I was adding someone to my friends list one day and I saw you in the list of people that had me listed as friends. so I was like what the hell is this all about?? and I checked to see if there was maybe something in your journal that would give me a clue as to why you had added me again or why you were posting in my journal again.

So I read, and I knew I shouldn't have as soon as I finished. I needed someone to talk to, so I talked to Carter (who by the way is a girl, not a guy and she did the posting all on her own, I didn't ask her to). She helped me a lot. and yea I know you didn't/don't want to get back together with me, but I bet you if I would have been willing you would have at least wanted me back in your life as a friend. If you "love" me like you say you do, then that should have been the case. But I still don't want you in my life. not as a friend, not as an enemy. not as anything.

I still don't have you listed as a friend. This is the first time I have directly contacted you. and I don't even know if you can call this directly contacting, considering it's online and in your journal. You can ask everyone, I really DO want you out.
Respect that. take me off your friends list, close the fuckin journal if you have to. So I never have the temptation to see what's going on in your life. or.. make a new one if you want some place to write, and just don't tell me what it is.

You're the one that is holding on. not me.
even after you replaced me with your "true love" (Annie). Yea. that lasted long. ha. whatever. I won't get into that.
Unless you reply to this, and it sends me an email saying you did, I'm not going to be coming back in here. So it's up to you if this is it, or if we talk for another day or week or whatever. But no matter how long you keep this going, I'm not going to forgive you, nor am I going to be ok with you. So.. either end it quickly, or drag it out. Your choice.
I'm never going to read your journal again, and I beg you do the same for me. don't leave comments in mine, even if they are anonymous.

Good luck at Tartan. I don't quite understand why you felt the need to tell me that... but ok. I doubt you last long. pretty sure you need to have a girlfriend. you typically wait to dump one girl until you have another lined up, but whatever. I guess that’s the way you function, and as long as it isn't hurting me or any of my friends, it isn't of my concern. so like I said.. your choice.

just two last requests. Don't go to Boston College and don't talk to my friends.
farewell to you too

[bialek88]

well lauren im not gonna drag this out, and as i said before it's how i feel, you know obviously that i dont want to be anything of yours anymore, and i guess you sort of took the things i put in my journal wrong, but that's fine, because ill try to make them clear right now, i still feel how i feel about you because i talked with everyone in my family about it and they all said you cant just get rid of love, there will always be a part of you that still likes her, and obviously they're right, but i dont like you to the point of becoming friends with you again, or anything, im glad actually (now that i thought about it) that you hate me. Just dont comment back to this because i dont think i really left anything to have you reply to. Oh and i didnt mean to direct that Tartan thing towards you. It was just a normal journal post. not one directed at you, sorry for that inconvenience.