What is Love?
I was asked today how I would define love. I thought on it for a few seconds and responded, "I know I'm in love when I don't mind losing my independence." I guess that's the defining reason why I don't date or look for someone to grow old and die with. Yeah, there are days when it would be nice to have someone around but isn't that what friends ( Read more... )
It is all about why you are entering a relationship. In my case, it is sharing my life with someone else. I really have hit the point where life is an adventure--whether it's taking a trip, developing a career, burying a loved one, or spending time watching a puppy grow up. (I probably would say the last is the most important.) To me, a relationship not only means you both get to experience things you might otherwise miss in life, but there is someone there later who knows exactly what all that meant to you. It isn't that someone knows I found Hitler's unmarked bunker; it is that someone knows just how much it meant to me that I found the bunker.
Also, if the relationship is right, you gain independence, not lose it. Granted, I can't go pick up a trick, bring him or her home, screw him or her senseless, and fall in love with that person. (And, if you play your cards right, you still might be able to do three of the four. LOL) But, on the other hand, I've gained the freedom to do so much more. With the emotional and physical support of the person you love, you can do things you might not otherwise do (finish that dissertation, quit a horrible job, try a new career, travel somewhere you only imagined, eat a new food--I blame Bobo for my now liking clams and mussels).
Yeah, there's a lot of work to do in a relationship. Moreover, it can be painful at times. But really, like a spreadsheet (or most of life), it is what you put into it. It also is making tough choices; the only people those who stay in bad relationships have to blame are themselves, because they don't have the balls to cut their losses. (Just think about bad relationships as though they were guns. Guns don't kill people--people kill people. Relationships don't make miserable people--miserable people make miserable people.)
And remember: g-i-n-g-e-r-s can't be pirates, because they have no souls.
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