Today's hospital visit
As some of you may have already seen from Ruth's journal, i had my appointment with the consultant Mr Harrison at Pinderfields Hospital in Wakefield today. He seems like a lovely man and we spent a while talking through my history and my current problems and then discussing options, he did listen to me about the washouts not working for me and suggested the Spence procedure which was something he had already suggested to Mr C my consultant in Shrewsbury (not an option in mine/Ruth's mind as it involves making a hole in my vagina and opening the exit from my bladder so that i can 'drain freely' but we don't think it will solve the pain issue and it defintely won't get rid of the foul smelling discharge thats coming from my bladder) but i think he could tell i had done my reasearch, i knew my body and i knew what i wanted which was the operation to remove my bladder.
He was extremely positive about the whole thing, something i was not prepared for after all the negitivity we've heard in the past, and not only said that the operation should be an easier procedure to carry out than my Urostomy that i had in 2003 but also that it might be possible to do it it laprascopically in conjunction with his other colleague and that he was prepared to operate. I did bring up the huge amount of scar tissue from infections Mr C had come across when he did the Urostomy and suggested he either talk to Mr C or get the notes from the operation and so for that and because after examining me and seeing the shape of my belly the operation probably won't be done laprascopically now and instead they will just reopen my existing NHS zip (my name for the scar from my urostomy that runs from a hands width under my bust to my pubic line) and do it that way. I did ask him once again after he examinined me "does this mean you will definately operate then?" and he said he "should" be but would write after reviewing my notes, it is because of that "should" and because i have got my hopes up so much in the past only to be let down that we are not jumping for joy because until i've had his letter saying he will operate and until i'm actually there in hospital about to go into theatre then i will not take anything as a definate, i can't, my mental health can't stand it. I know how disappointments have affected me in the past and i can't risk a plummet like that again.
So yes in summary it was a good appointment and all going well i "should" finally be getting rid of my grotty, smelly, spasmy bladder that has been nothing but trouble since the day i was born lol but i hope you understand my reasons for not jumping for joy right now.
He did of course warn me of the risks including infection, bleeding, needing another operation due to bleeding, risks associated with a GA, pain and the fact that it might not completely get rid of my pain. All of which we knew though and i'm surprised he didn't actually mention the one risk Mr C kept going on about when ever we brought up the operation, the risk of death.