facing North
D's mother is in the hospital, passing, passing fast. He took her and her dog to the vet today, then took her to lunch. One minute they were enjoying Chinese and then she was seizing.
She is 90. You would think there would be enough time. You might think it would feel like enough time.
She's been living on her own, walking her dog and fixing her own meals and puttering around her own house. She never wanted to be in any kind of facility. She never wanted to be brought back. These are true things, and I have not punched any of the nice people who said "It's for the best this way" in the mouth, not once, because I understand and agree even as I am completely disinclined to accept it.
It *was* a blessing that I was even home today to be with them. The only reason was that the part to fix D's truck was delayed in transit and he had to take my car. And that she had an appointment scheduled today - otherwise he wouldn't have been there. I am so hugely, formlessly grateful that it happened this way and not another that I can't even look sideways at it enough to say it.
She's been in sedation on a ventilator since they brought her in. She's in pallative care. Tomorrow they take her off the machines. D is with her. He reported that she opened her eyes - a miracle. She might even have seen him. He's getting to say goodbye.
She is 90. You would think there would be enough time. You might think it would feel like enough time.
She's been living on her own, walking her dog and fixing her own meals and puttering around her own house. She never wanted to be in any kind of facility. She never wanted to be brought back. These are true things, and I have not punched any of the nice people who said "It's for the best this way" in the mouth, not once, because I understand and agree even as I am completely disinclined to accept it.
It *was* a blessing that I was even home today to be with them. The only reason was that the part to fix D's truck was delayed in transit and he had to take my car. And that she had an appointment scheduled today - otherwise he wouldn't have been there. I am so hugely, formlessly grateful that it happened this way and not another that I can't even look sideways at it enough to say it.
She's been in sedation on a ventilator since they brought her in. She's in pallative care. Tomorrow they take her off the machines. D is with her. He reported that she opened her eyes - a miracle. She might even have seen him. He's getting to say goodbye.