(no subject)
OMG, life is so crazy.
So my roommates ex-girlfriend likes me. i say ex-girlfriend cause when i was introduced to her, she made a point of telling me ex-girlfriend, but they slept in the same room together, and said i love you to each other over the phone, and talked to each other everyday. so basically they were going out without the title, cause it was easier, then admitting they live realatively far apart and still have feelings together.
anyways so she was talking to me in a facebook chat window which i hate fb chat, about something i told her about the last time she was over here. and then i asked her when the next time she was visiting was, and she tells me that her and bill broke up, and i tried to play dumb i thought you wern't going out, and she starts telling me she has feelings for another guy, and she is confused. so i am trying to tell her, its natural to develop attractions to other people while your dating someone, and that the attraction doesn't matter, but your choices and actions are what matter the most. and then booomm!! she tells me she likes me. I typically try not to post Chat dialogue, but i kinda need to post this, cause the last time someone liked me i didn't like back, i feel i kinda handeled it the wrong way, and i can do better, and i wanna be a better person then i was to the person i was kinda a dick to cause i didn't know how to go about the situation... i still kinda feel bad about that. anyways
William
when you gonna come up here next?
10:39pmJessica
not sure....Bill and I aren't together anymore
10:40pmWilliam
well you weren't the last time you were up here either, but like are you guys not friends anymore
10:40pmJessica
we are friends, but we decided that it was over for good with us
we still talk on the phone just about every other day but yeah....its tough
10:42pmWilliam
i undersyand. i did that just recently with a girlfriend i have dated for 5 years.
its rough
10:42pmJessica
yeah, we might try later down the road
10:43pmWilliam
well good for you guys then
10:43pmJessica
yeah, we are both having a really hard time with it
but life goes on i guess
10:45pmWilliam
well if its so hard, then why do you wanna be apart right now? like what is it about him that makes you think you need to be away from him right now? i mean you don't have to actually answer that if you don't want to. but just think about that, when you talk to him, and it should get easier
10:46pmJessica
yeah, I think its the distance, we have never been apart like this
and we are both at two different points in our lives
10:48pmWilliam
see, i dunno. its a rough situation
still though, in general things are good when you guys do see each other then
?
10:49pmJessica
i don't know, I am just confused....i mean should I be attracted to other guys if I am with someone
10:49pmWilliam
yes. yes you should
this is why
because in my oppinion. we develop crushes based on our biology. people from an evolutionary stand point won't stop being attractive to you just because your dating someone.
i feel like to not develop a crush when your dating someone is a little unrealistic
and i don't think either you should be mad at yourself, nor bill be mad at you.
take it from a guy who develops alot of crushes everyday
you can't control that, but you can control your actions.
10:52pmJessica
no thats not why we aren't together
10:52pmWilliam
and as long as your not doing anything like cheating, you should be ok
no, your question was should you have feelings for another guy
did i miss something
like i know thats not the sole reason
10:53pmJessica
I am just confused in general with life right now
10:55pmWilliam
i am just saying, everytime you are attracted to someone else. don't second guess yourself, or else your gonna never think your with the right person. if things are bad, when your with bill. that makes sense to end it. or if your looking for something in a relationship bill can't or won't be able to give you. i understand that too. but if everything is fine, you shouldn't ruin a good thing cause your confused. i dunno
10:56pmJessica
yeah, thats what everyone is telling me
10:56pmWilliam
like i obviously don't want to get in the middle of your 2 relationships. but you seem happy with him, and if he still makes you happy, i don't know why you would avoid that, but you are a pretty bright person, and imsure you either know what you are doing, or will figure it ou
10:58pmJessica
hopefully, but it doesn't help that I am attracted to you
10:58pmWilliam
really
i didn't get that
well thank you
10:59pmJessica
Bill doesn't know that though
11:00pmWilliam
well i don't wanna be the one to tell him that. i like Bill alot. he could be my favorite of all the roommates, and i don't want to make it awkward between us
so, if you don't want him to know, i won't tell him
11:01pmJessica
lol, ok
11:04pmWilliam
wow i am so flattered. i am speachless. i dunno. i really like you. your really smart and a fun person. but i don't think i could do that to bill, and have to live with him too. it would be to much. i would really like to spend more time and hang out together, but at this time, i don't know i could do a relationship or anything right now, cause i respect Bill alot. not that your offering or anything. but i just want you to know where i am at sort of.
11:05pmJessica
yeah, see thats the problem I have trouble seeing myself dating anyone else
11:07pmWilliam
well let me ask you this. if you were in your ideal life. what would change
11:07pmJessica
living with my parents, my job, being confused
and I would have taken the GRE and be in grad school
11:10pmWilliam
well its good that you know thoose things. but you should know, its not to late to plan to do thoose things. signing up for the GRE isn't that hard. and you should talk to your parents, and let them know that right now i guess the set up you have is fine, but eventually you gotta move out and get a life of your own. you can't live at home when your 30
or maybe you could, but that would be my nightmare
11:11pmJessica
see my whole problem is that after my engagement ended, I had basically became ok with the idea of being alone and I actually kinda liked that idea, then I slipped and met bill, and everything changed, and now I am in the whole lost not knwoing what I am doing with my life stage and debating on whether I actually want to be with someone or stay alone
yeah, its just easy to live here since I work for them and my office is only 3 miles away
11:14pmWilliam
well yeah. the only reason i said that is because if you really wanna take the GRE and go to gradschool. you should talk to your parents about that, and make a plan with them. thats the first step.
11:14pmJessica
yeah they know i am planning on doing that, I just suck at standardized tests so I keep putting it off
11:17pmWilliam
oh i understand that
but you should really kick yourself in the ass and do it anyways.
i think it would be good for you and be a step in the right direction
11:18pmJessica
i know, I I will probably take it in November
11:21pmWilliam
but as far as the being single and meeting bill thing. i dunno
11:21pmJessica
lol, that makes two of us
11:23pmJessica
but hey I need to get to sleep, thanks for talking this stuff out with me...I owe you'
night hun
11:23pmWilliam
yeah you do
11:23pmJessica
lol
11:23pmWilliam
night
I dunno.
I can't help but be so flattered. like but nothing can happen, and my roommate aside, i don't even think i like her like that. but especially cause he is my roommates ex/"i think he is still in love with her" nothing is happening cause Bill is to good of a roommate and a person. i dunno. but at least i know i still got it. lol. i am such a badass... lol. jk. but seriously what should i do. in an ideal world, i could tell her i don't like her like that, but still be friends with her outside of my roommate (meaning wether there dating or not dating) and they would go back out and be happy with eachother. but life is just not that ideal. so how can i come to a close second. does anyone have any ideas?
So my roommates ex-girlfriend likes me. i say ex-girlfriend cause when i was introduced to her, she made a point of telling me ex-girlfriend, but they slept in the same room together, and said i love you to each other over the phone, and talked to each other everyday. so basically they were going out without the title, cause it was easier, then admitting they live realatively far apart and still have feelings together.
anyways so she was talking to me in a facebook chat window which i hate fb chat, about something i told her about the last time she was over here. and then i asked her when the next time she was visiting was, and she tells me that her and bill broke up, and i tried to play dumb i thought you wern't going out, and she starts telling me she has feelings for another guy, and she is confused. so i am trying to tell her, its natural to develop attractions to other people while your dating someone, and that the attraction doesn't matter, but your choices and actions are what matter the most. and then booomm!! she tells me she likes me. I typically try not to post Chat dialogue, but i kinda need to post this, cause the last time someone liked me i didn't like back, i feel i kinda handeled it the wrong way, and i can do better, and i wanna be a better person then i was to the person i was kinda a dick to cause i didn't know how to go about the situation... i still kinda feel bad about that. anyways
William
when you gonna come up here next?
10:39pmJessica
not sure....Bill and I aren't together anymore
10:40pmWilliam
well you weren't the last time you were up here either, but like are you guys not friends anymore
10:40pmJessica
we are friends, but we decided that it was over for good with us
we still talk on the phone just about every other day but yeah....its tough
10:42pmWilliam
i undersyand. i did that just recently with a girlfriend i have dated for 5 years.
its rough
10:42pmJessica
yeah, we might try later down the road
10:43pmWilliam
well good for you guys then
10:43pmJessica
yeah, we are both having a really hard time with it
but life goes on i guess
10:45pmWilliam
well if its so hard, then why do you wanna be apart right now? like what is it about him that makes you think you need to be away from him right now? i mean you don't have to actually answer that if you don't want to. but just think about that, when you talk to him, and it should get easier
10:46pmJessica
yeah, I think its the distance, we have never been apart like this
and we are both at two different points in our lives
10:48pmWilliam
see, i dunno. its a rough situation
still though, in general things are good when you guys do see each other then
?
10:49pmJessica
i don't know, I am just confused....i mean should I be attracted to other guys if I am with someone
10:49pmWilliam
yes. yes you should
this is why
because in my oppinion. we develop crushes based on our biology. people from an evolutionary stand point won't stop being attractive to you just because your dating someone.
i feel like to not develop a crush when your dating someone is a little unrealistic
and i don't think either you should be mad at yourself, nor bill be mad at you.
take it from a guy who develops alot of crushes everyday
you can't control that, but you can control your actions.
10:52pmJessica
no thats not why we aren't together
10:52pmWilliam
and as long as your not doing anything like cheating, you should be ok
no, your question was should you have feelings for another guy
did i miss something
like i know thats not the sole reason
10:53pmJessica
I am just confused in general with life right now
10:55pmWilliam
i am just saying, everytime you are attracted to someone else. don't second guess yourself, or else your gonna never think your with the right person. if things are bad, when your with bill. that makes sense to end it. or if your looking for something in a relationship bill can't or won't be able to give you. i understand that too. but if everything is fine, you shouldn't ruin a good thing cause your confused. i dunno
10:56pmJessica
yeah, thats what everyone is telling me
10:56pmWilliam
like i obviously don't want to get in the middle of your 2 relationships. but you seem happy with him, and if he still makes you happy, i don't know why you would avoid that, but you are a pretty bright person, and imsure you either know what you are doing, or will figure it ou
10:58pmJessica
hopefully, but it doesn't help that I am attracted to you
10:58pmWilliam
really
i didn't get that
well thank you
10:59pmJessica
Bill doesn't know that though
11:00pmWilliam
well i don't wanna be the one to tell him that. i like Bill alot. he could be my favorite of all the roommates, and i don't want to make it awkward between us
so, if you don't want him to know, i won't tell him
11:01pmJessica
lol, ok
11:04pmWilliam
wow i am so flattered. i am speachless. i dunno. i really like you. your really smart and a fun person. but i don't think i could do that to bill, and have to live with him too. it would be to much. i would really like to spend more time and hang out together, but at this time, i don't know i could do a relationship or anything right now, cause i respect Bill alot. not that your offering or anything. but i just want you to know where i am at sort of.
11:05pmJessica
yeah, see thats the problem I have trouble seeing myself dating anyone else
11:07pmWilliam
well let me ask you this. if you were in your ideal life. what would change
11:07pmJessica
living with my parents, my job, being confused
and I would have taken the GRE and be in grad school
11:10pmWilliam
well its good that you know thoose things. but you should know, its not to late to plan to do thoose things. signing up for the GRE isn't that hard. and you should talk to your parents, and let them know that right now i guess the set up you have is fine, but eventually you gotta move out and get a life of your own. you can't live at home when your 30
or maybe you could, but that would be my nightmare
11:11pmJessica
see my whole problem is that after my engagement ended, I had basically became ok with the idea of being alone and I actually kinda liked that idea, then I slipped and met bill, and everything changed, and now I am in the whole lost not knwoing what I am doing with my life stage and debating on whether I actually want to be with someone or stay alone
yeah, its just easy to live here since I work for them and my office is only 3 miles away
11:14pmWilliam
well yeah. the only reason i said that is because if you really wanna take the GRE and go to gradschool. you should talk to your parents about that, and make a plan with them. thats the first step.
11:14pmJessica
yeah they know i am planning on doing that, I just suck at standardized tests so I keep putting it off
11:17pmWilliam
oh i understand that
but you should really kick yourself in the ass and do it anyways.
i think it would be good for you and be a step in the right direction
11:18pmJessica
i know, I I will probably take it in November
11:21pmWilliam
but as far as the being single and meeting bill thing. i dunno
11:21pmJessica
lol, that makes two of us
11:23pmJessica
but hey I need to get to sleep, thanks for talking this stuff out with me...I owe you'
night hun
11:23pmWilliam
yeah you do
11:23pmJessica
lol
11:23pmWilliam
night
I dunno.
I can't help but be so flattered. like but nothing can happen, and my roommate aside, i don't even think i like her like that. but especially cause he is my roommates ex/"i think he is still in love with her" nothing is happening cause Bill is to good of a roommate and a person. i dunno. but at least i know i still got it. lol. i am such a badass... lol. jk. but seriously what should i do. in an ideal world, i could tell her i don't like her like that, but still be friends with her outside of my roommate (meaning wether there dating or not dating) and they would go back out and be happy with eachother. but life is just not that ideal. so how can i come to a close second. does anyone have any ideas?