my b-day
today is my b-day ,,,,, what a day it has been like shit ,,,see i dont have my true love here with me and she sent me a email say she loves me and i was her red head girl and she wished she could be here with me ....but if she wanted to realy wanted to be here she would have and that is the truth ...see i would have sent for her so she could be here in my arms and we could have been makeing love all nite like we should have be doing ... i hate my life and soon it will be over and no one will ever see or hear me again ....i will not ever be a pain in no one ass again .....they can live there lifes with out me in them ,,,,,,i wish every one new what is in my head ...see i sit in my room and think how i could do it with out hurtting everyone and no one would be mad at me and i have found the way and i just have to do it ,,,,,but i love my family and my true love and this is why i have to do what i needed to do along time ago ..... i have a job and live with my mom and i used to have the person of my dreams here with me ,,see i loved her even when she never new it and i waited for her a long time to tell her and one nite my dream came true and now it is over and i dont want it to be and she tells me that it isnt over just give her sometime but if i do that then i lose her forever...........