The World Not As I See It.
I am still experimenting in life, and I don't like where I am. I'm noticing my self-delusions, wrapped around me and comfortably warm. I still experiment in truth, like Gandhi, but my more lasting and much more important experiment is selfishness. Truth, Love, Justice, Beauty, and Friendship are all capital letter Important. But lately, (and early too) all must submit to my immediate capricious and selfish whim. I accuse myself of not living a life I can be proud of: the worst crime. Of all that is and ever will be, all that I control is my interpetation of reality, my life.
My self-delusions, my shell and jail: I over-heard someone saying that I live in a world completely my own. It was a girl I spent half an afternoon with 2 years ago, since then we haven't spoken more than 3 sentences to each other. I still regard her (sometimes as friend, sometimes as foe, changing with my day and mood) as a person, someone within my circle. Close, but not in a pop understanding of the word, say if I drew a circle of all the people I knew, she'd be inside and not outside. This was the crystallizing moment, solidyifing my thoughts into a clear attack on my little jail of a world.
My self-delusions, my shell and jail: I over-heard someone saying that I live in a world completely my own. It was a girl I spent half an afternoon with 2 years ago, since then we haven't spoken more than 3 sentences to each other. I still regard her (sometimes as friend, sometimes as foe, changing with my day and mood) as a person, someone within my circle. Close, but not in a pop understanding of the word, say if I drew a circle of all the people I knew, she'd be inside and not outside. This was the crystallizing moment, solidyifing my thoughts into a clear attack on my little jail of a world.