oh, and poop
So, poop and the nagging feeling I've done something wrong. This dank feeling has been following me around, and something in the air reminds me, that there is so much more of this left. Maybe I can write the single most distressing idea in my life of late. I don't want to be continually down, but you don't think about writing(or give yourself time to stop and think) until the sun goes behind the clouds, and it starts raining. Anyway, the single most bothersome thing has been: everything is flawed. An elementary revelation? A fact of life? Maybe...but it's catching me up. I think it's the thing that's been stealing my happiness (lately) just before it's fully ripe.
I, I have finally gotten to the point where I want things, where I don't deny that i want, need stuff people and emotions. SO, I'm to the acknowledgement of a need, and now, the time comes to work toward the achievement of these needs, these goals. In other words, the work of an adult existence.
But, this lack of perfection thing has really got me. Every time i try my hardest and give my all: the result is not just right. I (personally) have no problem with giving my all, hitting it with everything, but I want something to result from this. I want an outcome which is at least similar to the hopes in my head. But, this dosen't happen. I suppose the next step of my development is endurance. The ability to run the race, to not give up (especially when I try my hardest but fail; or try but end up in a game that isn't even remotely like the one I envisioned) (what a long parenthesis!!!) -peace
I, I have finally gotten to the point where I want things, where I don't deny that i want, need stuff people and emotions. SO, I'm to the acknowledgement of a need, and now, the time comes to work toward the achievement of these needs, these goals. In other words, the work of an adult existence.
But, this lack of perfection thing has really got me. Every time i try my hardest and give my all: the result is not just right. I (personally) have no problem with giving my all, hitting it with everything, but I want something to result from this. I want an outcome which is at least similar to the hopes in my head. But, this dosen't happen. I suppose the next step of my development is endurance. The ability to run the race, to not give up (especially when I try my hardest but fail; or try but end up in a game that isn't even remotely like the one I envisioned) (what a long parenthesis!!!) -peace