the saga continues and gets discontinued
Hey..well not too much has happened to me since I last updated, I don't think. No, not really.....lol
On Monday, I think it was? Me and Andrew got into a horrible fight.....I guess I started it, really. I'm such a geek. I did the stupid "break up routine" that I always do...When me and a guy finally get serious, I break up with them. Might seem stupid to you, but it makes sense to me. Why, do I do it, you ask? Well..it's complicated. But basically-I do it because I want to be the one to break up FIRST, before they even have a chance to..I guess, I can't handle rejection. I'm rejected by my Dad, my stepmom, my stepsister.....and obviously my birth parents rejected me since I'm adopted. I just have a fear of rejection..and a problem when I experience it. I just want people to like me..that's what my big problem was when I was littler. That everyone had to like me. Well, now I realize that not everyone is going to like me, so you just have to be yourself.......Generally, I know this. Not in the boy department. So I did my usual "break up with the guy you've been seeing for awhile" thing..Except this time, it was different. Why? Because I actually cared this time. I love Andrew. I didn't know it was going to be hard. So after a bunch of stupid crying, and talking..Andrew worked me through it. He really is awesome. He gave me a second chance and told me that I could break the habit of my stupid break up routine..And I did! I really do love him, found that out for SURE when I actually CRIED about it.......Ah well, he is going to call soon so I better go! Oh how I love him!
On Monday, I think it was? Me and Andrew got into a horrible fight.....I guess I started it, really. I'm such a geek. I did the stupid "break up routine" that I always do...When me and a guy finally get serious, I break up with them. Might seem stupid to you, but it makes sense to me. Why, do I do it, you ask? Well..it's complicated. But basically-I do it because I want to be the one to break up FIRST, before they even have a chance to..I guess, I can't handle rejection. I'm rejected by my Dad, my stepmom, my stepsister.....and obviously my birth parents rejected me since I'm adopted. I just have a fear of rejection..and a problem when I experience it. I just want people to like me..that's what my big problem was when I was littler. That everyone had to like me. Well, now I realize that not everyone is going to like me, so you just have to be yourself.......Generally, I know this. Not in the boy department. So I did my usual "break up with the guy you've been seeing for awhile" thing..Except this time, it was different. Why? Because I actually cared this time. I love Andrew. I didn't know it was going to be hard. So after a bunch of stupid crying, and talking..Andrew worked me through it. He really is awesome. He gave me a second chance and told me that I could break the habit of my stupid break up routine..And I did! I really do love him, found that out for SURE when I actually CRIED about it.......Ah well, he is going to call soon so I better go! Oh how I love him!