(no subject)
happy new year everyone! i'm more than ready to welcome 2005....2004 has had its ups and definite downs, and now i'll take what i learned from 2004 and apply to make my 2005 the best it can be.
and now, if she doesn't mind, i'm stealing this from marissa, because its exactly how i feel, too. its exactly what i've been thinking about when it comes to reflecting on my first semester at college...
college is a crazy thing. i mean aside from the fact that you pay out YOUR ASS to go and party it up like youve never done before and then somehow attending this place for 4 or so years gets you a "degree" and then you get a job.. but besides that..im finding out: college makes you who you are going to be for the rest of your life. it molds you. it shapes you. it is what you become.
your friends. your interests. your positives and your negatives. your strengths and weaknesses. your true personality, whether you're drunk or sober, comes out. the way you deal with things, and people - it all comes out. and you finally feel like youre in your own skin. showing exactly who you are. and whether any of the previous 18 years comes along with it or disappears - doesnt matter. thats just it. it doesnt matter. It's the past. and the past is gone. Yeah true, memories linger. But honestly. You cant hold on to what has already happened, and how youve lived your whole life this far. You start over and find the best way for you. And thank god that im there.
College introduces you to so many new things. Hell. [i watch strongbad emails now.]Now that i watch them all the time, it makes me want [to be around] them so much and tear up. It's life. You learn 90 million things you never thought you would have learned. and im not talking about subjects like math and shit like that. 90 million things about every single random topic in the world. But those are the little things that eek you forward into the next step. Nobody cares about freud and his theories when theyre trying to get themselves up off their feet. You need little shit to make you laugh, like trolls and how i burned popcorn and got a safety warning. Seriously. And another thing that is totally new - the people. There are people from god damned everywhere. And everyone, mostly, has an open mind. and wants to find out just as much as you do. and they want to have fun just like you do. and theyre going to get along with you whether you try or not. But its these people that you live with. and you spend your days with. These people become your tightest group of friends ever. I dont care what you had in high school. or who you've known since before you could talk... fuck that. These people spend every minute with you. they go through every crisis you go through...WITH you. And they are there for you when the worst hits rock bottom. [BELIEVE ME--she's telling the truth]
yeah, high school was fun. Everyones gotta do it. But i'm just a little disappointed in myself for becoming so attached to my group of friends. Not just the group of friends i had in my high school. But the scene i was a part of. And...everything that goes with that. I thought "wow, this is it. These people are the greatest and i love them so much" Until its not really like that at all. Out of my closest group of friends i had throughout my life...
Well happy new year to all of you.
And the rest of my group of friends, well. im not even going to get into that. Because i could rip them to shreds, and im not wasting my time on that for people who obviously do not matter.
I am just incredibly relieved that i get to go back to school soon and be in MY room with MY new family who knows me more than anyone knows me pretty much right now. and i want to live the way WE live at RU. And i want to run over to the nuthouse or spend the night with the 2A kids because theres loads of people there waiting to [help me] if im upset. And these people would do anything, not just for me. but for everyone. for each other. because we are a tight knit fucking family. and thast what i love the most.
a fucking men marissa.
and now, if she doesn't mind, i'm stealing this from marissa, because its exactly how i feel, too. its exactly what i've been thinking about when it comes to reflecting on my first semester at college...
college is a crazy thing. i mean aside from the fact that you pay out YOUR ASS to go and party it up like youve never done before and then somehow attending this place for 4 or so years gets you a "degree" and then you get a job.. but besides that..im finding out: college makes you who you are going to be for the rest of your life. it molds you. it shapes you. it is what you become.
your friends. your interests. your positives and your negatives. your strengths and weaknesses. your true personality, whether you're drunk or sober, comes out. the way you deal with things, and people - it all comes out. and you finally feel like youre in your own skin. showing exactly who you are. and whether any of the previous 18 years comes along with it or disappears - doesnt matter. thats just it. it doesnt matter. It's the past. and the past is gone. Yeah true, memories linger. But honestly. You cant hold on to what has already happened, and how youve lived your whole life this far. You start over and find the best way for you. And thank god that im there.
College introduces you to so many new things. Hell. [i watch strongbad emails now.]Now that i watch them all the time, it makes me want [to be around] them so much and tear up. It's life. You learn 90 million things you never thought you would have learned. and im not talking about subjects like math and shit like that. 90 million things about every single random topic in the world. But those are the little things that eek you forward into the next step. Nobody cares about freud and his theories when theyre trying to get themselves up off their feet. You need little shit to make you laugh, like trolls and how i burned popcorn and got a safety warning. Seriously. And another thing that is totally new - the people. There are people from god damned everywhere. And everyone, mostly, has an open mind. and wants to find out just as much as you do. and they want to have fun just like you do. and theyre going to get along with you whether you try or not. But its these people that you live with. and you spend your days with. These people become your tightest group of friends ever. I dont care what you had in high school. or who you've known since before you could talk... fuck that. These people spend every minute with you. they go through every crisis you go through...WITH you. And they are there for you when the worst hits rock bottom. [BELIEVE ME--she's telling the truth]
yeah, high school was fun. Everyones gotta do it. But i'm just a little disappointed in myself for becoming so attached to my group of friends. Not just the group of friends i had in my high school. But the scene i was a part of. And...everything that goes with that. I thought "wow, this is it. These people are the greatest and i love them so much" Until its not really like that at all. Out of my closest group of friends i had throughout my life...
Well happy new year to all of you.
And the rest of my group of friends, well. im not even going to get into that. Because i could rip them to shreds, and im not wasting my time on that for people who obviously do not matter.
I am just incredibly relieved that i get to go back to school soon and be in MY room with MY new family who knows me more than anyone knows me pretty much right now. and i want to live the way WE live at RU. And i want to run over to the nuthouse or spend the night with the 2A kids because theres loads of people there waiting to [help me] if im upset. And these people would do anything, not just for me. but for everyone. for each other. because we are a tight knit fucking family. and thast what i love the most.
a fucking men marissa.