(no subject)
I'm back to Delaware tomorrow after a short weekend home.
I came for two reasons. one, Bryan was home. I just love that kid to pieces, and he's been a great, solid friend the past...seven years? ok, so more like five that we've been close. but anyway. he moved to cali in june, and he doesn't know when he'll be back on this coast again, so I *had* to come home. second was for my job interview.
thankfully, I got to spend a good amount of time with Bryan. thursday night, after going to Mahoney's with my parents for some late night food, stories, and a Guinness, I went out with him and his friend Mike to Stoplight. now, the last time I was there, I had three drinks- one beer and two mixed drinks- and got so unbelievably drunk that I threw up twice (I still feel kind of bad for whoever opened Eckerd's the next morning), blacked out, and had to be carried (by Jon) upstairs and put into bed. I'm the first to admit I'm a lightweight, but I can usually drink a lot more than that and just be happy drunk. but I went on thursday. caught up a bit, it was fun. promised to hang out the next night.
friday I spent with my mom. I had gotten shoes for my interview, but despite the fact that my normally 8 1/2 foot was in a size 7 I was still falling out when I walked, so we went to get heel grippers. wound up at the Newburgh Mall, where I bought makeup (!!!!) and a new business-like outfit- red button down shirt and brown pinstripe pants. both were 50% off, so I got a (hot) $70 outfit for about $37. I bought the eyeshadow because the colors were specifically chosen to bring out blue eyes. but anyway. went to lunch at Friday's, chatted, got coffee at Barnes and Noble. Bryan called me while I was there. he was bored out of his mind and was wondering what I was up to. so I went home, he picked me up and we went to Palisades. weren't there for long, went into a few stores to see if they sold the tvs his company makes and just generally wandering. came home for dinner, then made firm plans to go out later.
we went to "my place," a sports bar that apparently is pretty well known in the area. it was me, Emily, Bryan, Egan, Piper, Phil, Bryan's friend Mike, and two other guys. oh. my. god. I was laughing so hard. Piper was wasted and and was reminiscing about high school retardedness with Bryan. Piper is such a dick, but damn if he isn't an absolutely hilarious story teller. at one point, he was talking about the shithole he lived in with Bryan and Bryan's brother in Buffalo- and this was the most disgusting shithole I've ever heard about- and he goes "remember that time we got fleas?" one of the five other people in the bar, a cop he knew, turns from the pool table and goes "the bar did not need to know you had fleas." so fucking funny. Emily got really drunk too and kept telling me to have sex with people in the bar she thought was hot. oh, Em.
got home around 1am even though I had to wake up at 7:30am....so worth it though. I really haven't had that much fun with a group of high school friends in about two years. found out Mello is getting married this summer (like everyone else I know!), but in Vegas. apparently the entire "crazy crew" are going to be in his wedding party. I kind of wish I actually knew Mello so I could see the debauchery of those guys partying bachelor-party style in Vegas.....
so today. job interview. to start with, I get there 5 minutes late. got into Grand Central 45 mins before the interview (which was near Spring and Canal St), but I had to go to the bathroom and get some gum, so I had to wait in line for both. I called ahead when I got off the subway to say I was running late, but I still felt like an ass. oh well. and on top of it, once I got there and sat down, I realized the bottom half of my shirt had come undone (instead of buttons, it had a bunch of clasps). thank God I had my portfolio thing so I could hide it! and my blazer to button over it, ha. anyway, I think it went ok. it was a group interview, me and five other girls. they were all really nice, two especially. one chick was incredibly talkative and talked a million miles a minute. seriously, she was worse than me when I'm excited. anyway, we introduced ourselves, and were asked a bunch of questions about experiences we've had that we think prepared us for RA jobs, programs we've planned (none! ha), what you would do in certain scenerios. when I introduced myself, the interviewer looked at my resume and asked me about my skills in French. the Oxford program that I applied to has an optional Paris extention, so they look for people who speak French (!!). now THAT would be a summer. a month in Oxford with trips to London, Stratford-upon-Avon, Bath, and 5 days in PARIS!
anyhoo, it took about an hour and 40 minutes. I really hate how I come off in interviews though. I mean, I walk through the door and you know I'm a studious academic. being formal and proper is good in interviews, but when it's a little more relaxed like it was today, I feel like I'm too stiff. oh well. Jon gave me great advice last night- I'll be myself, and I'll either fit what they're looking for or I won't. it won't be that I fucked up or anything. so after a while I relaxed. didn't get to answer all the questions though, which was necessary for time constraints, but I definitely had some good answers to a few of them. I walked to the subway with a few of the other girls, and I really enjoyed meeting them. two were really friendly, and one kept slipping on the ice so we joked around a lot. I find out by Feb 5.....
oh, and random? I signed up to be a language partner for the English Language Institute, and I was assigned a guy from Kuwait. freaking cool.
so now it's 12:19am, and I've been in my pjs since dinnertime. texted Bryan and Em to see if they wanted to hang out, but no go. Bryan was going out with Mike, and I didn't want to interrupt boy time again. Em texted me back saying she had to get up early tomorrow to leave- this was at 10pm. that kind of pisses me off. when we see each other, we're best friends again, and she whines "nooooo!" whenever I tell someone I'm staying in Delaware after graduation, but then she doesn't get back to me or makes up bs excuses the next time I try to hang out. she did it over Christmas too. I know it's nothing to do with me- she has her own issues- but it kind of pisses me off. you want me to stay, and then you blow me off? thanks for being my best friend.
other ramblings.
last week, the editor for the Times-Herald Record, Mike Levine, died. that may not mean anything to most people, but he was such a huge part of the community, and he was the single greatest writer I've read. yeah, I have my favorite books and authors, but the editorials he would write for the paper were incredible. passionate and true without being cheesy (a lot are posted on www.recordonline.com. definitely worth a visit if you're bored). as I'm reading his older stuff, I'm realizing that's the kind of writer I want to be. ironically enough, I found out a few days ago that my mom actually knew him. she knew him through the community work she did several years ago, and she stayed in touch. she actually emailed him recently and asked what a senior English major can do after graduation. she said I hated journalism, and he responded, journalism or journalists? she told him I had a crappy experience with my high school paper (true, the Word turned me off to journalism), and he wrote back saying not to judge anything by that one experience, and to just keep writing. it's a very intimidating thought though. I have all these grandiose dreams for myself, but I'm so timid when it comes to my own abilities. I know I'm a good writer. I know I can do certain things. but I haven't tried any of it under the safety of the college umbrella, and it's terrifying. on some level, I don't have the balls to chase my writing dreams. some of it is because I like writing about something personal, or the big picture. when I was on the Word, I had to write about boring stuff that went on at NFA. I know I have this preconception of the stories beginning writers have to write about, and I don't think I have the passion or the ability to make those smaller articles work, and then where do I go from there? but that's me thinking a million years ahead. I've set up roadblocks for myself, limits that I think I can't go beyond.
a lot of it is because I'm timid, not an opportunity maker, and I have little faith in what I'm capable of. I am one of those people that if one person tells me no, this isn't good, your ideas aren't good, I go hide in a corner and make a note to pick up a Starbucks application. even as I'm starting the job search, Jon keeps pushing me to go into this one publishing place literally right by my apartment, and I'm terrified. almost 22 years old and I'm still a fucking wallflower. ugh. that's going to be a tough habit to break.
reading vanity fair on the train ride home today kind of gives me inspiration. I'd love to do that kind of writing. I don't have journalism training, but I know I could learn.
three weeks late, but I've got a new years resolution.
to push myself to get myself and my writing out there, and not be so afraid that I can't do something.
I came for two reasons. one, Bryan was home. I just love that kid to pieces, and he's been a great, solid friend the past...seven years? ok, so more like five that we've been close. but anyway. he moved to cali in june, and he doesn't know when he'll be back on this coast again, so I *had* to come home. second was for my job interview.
thankfully, I got to spend a good amount of time with Bryan. thursday night, after going to Mahoney's with my parents for some late night food, stories, and a Guinness, I went out with him and his friend Mike to Stoplight. now, the last time I was there, I had three drinks- one beer and two mixed drinks- and got so unbelievably drunk that I threw up twice (I still feel kind of bad for whoever opened Eckerd's the next morning), blacked out, and had to be carried (by Jon) upstairs and put into bed. I'm the first to admit I'm a lightweight, but I can usually drink a lot more than that and just be happy drunk. but I went on thursday. caught up a bit, it was fun. promised to hang out the next night.
friday I spent with my mom. I had gotten shoes for my interview, but despite the fact that my normally 8 1/2 foot was in a size 7 I was still falling out when I walked, so we went to get heel grippers. wound up at the Newburgh Mall, where I bought makeup (!!!!) and a new business-like outfit- red button down shirt and brown pinstripe pants. both were 50% off, so I got a (hot) $70 outfit for about $37. I bought the eyeshadow because the colors were specifically chosen to bring out blue eyes. but anyway. went to lunch at Friday's, chatted, got coffee at Barnes and Noble. Bryan called me while I was there. he was bored out of his mind and was wondering what I was up to. so I went home, he picked me up and we went to Palisades. weren't there for long, went into a few stores to see if they sold the tvs his company makes and just generally wandering. came home for dinner, then made firm plans to go out later.
we went to "my place," a sports bar that apparently is pretty well known in the area. it was me, Emily, Bryan, Egan, Piper, Phil, Bryan's friend Mike, and two other guys. oh. my. god. I was laughing so hard. Piper was wasted and and was reminiscing about high school retardedness with Bryan. Piper is such a dick, but damn if he isn't an absolutely hilarious story teller. at one point, he was talking about the shithole he lived in with Bryan and Bryan's brother in Buffalo- and this was the most disgusting shithole I've ever heard about- and he goes "remember that time we got fleas?" one of the five other people in the bar, a cop he knew, turns from the pool table and goes "the bar did not need to know you had fleas." so fucking funny. Emily got really drunk too and kept telling me to have sex with people in the bar she thought was hot. oh, Em.
got home around 1am even though I had to wake up at 7:30am....so worth it though. I really haven't had that much fun with a group of high school friends in about two years. found out Mello is getting married this summer (like everyone else I know!), but in Vegas. apparently the entire "crazy crew" are going to be in his wedding party. I kind of wish I actually knew Mello so I could see the debauchery of those guys partying bachelor-party style in Vegas.....
so today. job interview. to start with, I get there 5 minutes late. got into Grand Central 45 mins before the interview (which was near Spring and Canal St), but I had to go to the bathroom and get some gum, so I had to wait in line for both. I called ahead when I got off the subway to say I was running late, but I still felt like an ass. oh well. and on top of it, once I got there and sat down, I realized the bottom half of my shirt had come undone (instead of buttons, it had a bunch of clasps). thank God I had my portfolio thing so I could hide it! and my blazer to button over it, ha. anyway, I think it went ok. it was a group interview, me and five other girls. they were all really nice, two especially. one chick was incredibly talkative and talked a million miles a minute. seriously, she was worse than me when I'm excited. anyway, we introduced ourselves, and were asked a bunch of questions about experiences we've had that we think prepared us for RA jobs, programs we've planned (none! ha), what you would do in certain scenerios. when I introduced myself, the interviewer looked at my resume and asked me about my skills in French. the Oxford program that I applied to has an optional Paris extention, so they look for people who speak French (!!). now THAT would be a summer. a month in Oxford with trips to London, Stratford-upon-Avon, Bath, and 5 days in PARIS!
anyhoo, it took about an hour and 40 minutes. I really hate how I come off in interviews though. I mean, I walk through the door and you know I'm a studious academic. being formal and proper is good in interviews, but when it's a little more relaxed like it was today, I feel like I'm too stiff. oh well. Jon gave me great advice last night- I'll be myself, and I'll either fit what they're looking for or I won't. it won't be that I fucked up or anything. so after a while I relaxed. didn't get to answer all the questions though, which was necessary for time constraints, but I definitely had some good answers to a few of them. I walked to the subway with a few of the other girls, and I really enjoyed meeting them. two were really friendly, and one kept slipping on the ice so we joked around a lot. I find out by Feb 5.....
oh, and random? I signed up to be a language partner for the English Language Institute, and I was assigned a guy from Kuwait. freaking cool.
so now it's 12:19am, and I've been in my pjs since dinnertime. texted Bryan and Em to see if they wanted to hang out, but no go. Bryan was going out with Mike, and I didn't want to interrupt boy time again. Em texted me back saying she had to get up early tomorrow to leave- this was at 10pm. that kind of pisses me off. when we see each other, we're best friends again, and she whines "nooooo!" whenever I tell someone I'm staying in Delaware after graduation, but then she doesn't get back to me or makes up bs excuses the next time I try to hang out. she did it over Christmas too. I know it's nothing to do with me- she has her own issues- but it kind of pisses me off. you want me to stay, and then you blow me off? thanks for being my best friend.
other ramblings.
last week, the editor for the Times-Herald Record, Mike Levine, died. that may not mean anything to most people, but he was such a huge part of the community, and he was the single greatest writer I've read. yeah, I have my favorite books and authors, but the editorials he would write for the paper were incredible. passionate and true without being cheesy (a lot are posted on www.recordonline.com. definitely worth a visit if you're bored). as I'm reading his older stuff, I'm realizing that's the kind of writer I want to be. ironically enough, I found out a few days ago that my mom actually knew him. she knew him through the community work she did several years ago, and she stayed in touch. she actually emailed him recently and asked what a senior English major can do after graduation. she said I hated journalism, and he responded, journalism or journalists? she told him I had a crappy experience with my high school paper (true, the Word turned me off to journalism), and he wrote back saying not to judge anything by that one experience, and to just keep writing. it's a very intimidating thought though. I have all these grandiose dreams for myself, but I'm so timid when it comes to my own abilities. I know I'm a good writer. I know I can do certain things. but I haven't tried any of it under the safety of the college umbrella, and it's terrifying. on some level, I don't have the balls to chase my writing dreams. some of it is because I like writing about something personal, or the big picture. when I was on the Word, I had to write about boring stuff that went on at NFA. I know I have this preconception of the stories beginning writers have to write about, and I don't think I have the passion or the ability to make those smaller articles work, and then where do I go from there? but that's me thinking a million years ahead. I've set up roadblocks for myself, limits that I think I can't go beyond.
a lot of it is because I'm timid, not an opportunity maker, and I have little faith in what I'm capable of. I am one of those people that if one person tells me no, this isn't good, your ideas aren't good, I go hide in a corner and make a note to pick up a Starbucks application. even as I'm starting the job search, Jon keeps pushing me to go into this one publishing place literally right by my apartment, and I'm terrified. almost 22 years old and I'm still a fucking wallflower. ugh. that's going to be a tough habit to break.
reading vanity fair on the train ride home today kind of gives me inspiration. I'd love to do that kind of writing. I don't have journalism training, but I know I could learn.
three weeks late, but I've got a new years resolution.
to push myself to get myself and my writing out there, and not be so afraid that I can't do something.