a well-deserved gift
[ A few days ago, Mr. Magorium was met with the surprise of his life.
And, given how long a life his has been, it was some surprise.]
Edward Magorium steps outside of his toy store and home in proper gear this afternoon. His scarf is candy-cane striped, his jacket is puffy and brown, and his shoes are-well, the same. His toes are freezing, but that's ( Read more... )
And, given how long a life his has been, it was some surprise.]
Edward Magorium steps outside of his toy store and home in proper gear this afternoon. His scarf is candy-cane striped, his jacket is puffy and brown, and his shoes are-well, the same. His toes are freezing, but that's ( Read more... )
She doesn't see how people get out of the holes they've fallen into, how they begin to find a way whether their hole was created by using their powers or by falling into other things because they didn't use their powers. It's such a foreign concept to her, entirely foreign.
It hadn't occurred to her that there was another way, and she's sure that it's that way for a lot of demons. They don't know what else to do so they fall. They fall in whatever way they can to try to deal with... with everything going on inside of them, that threatens to tear them up, that grabs hold and refuses to let go.
The surprise on her face, in every part of her body is from that, is from seeing this healthiness, and she'll be even more surprised to learn that it wasn't always that way for Lena.
It doesn't have to be something you either have or don't have.
Sometimes you can fight for it and find something, and it's not some pipe dream, not some thing that people tell you to make you feel better about it all.
"Looks like it from what I've seen, very polite young man," Jess says, sounding impressed, because she is. There are a lot of little kids who are basically brats, and she can tell immediately that Max isn't one of those types of kids.
It's sweet to see.
"Even if you've been here since just before eighteen, that's... a really long time and from... a world like that one," she says, shaking her head as she bites down on her lip, looking out over the toy store for a moment.
The whole universe torn apart by their differences. She glances at her, looking uncertain and swallowing thickly before she nods.
"Can't really imagine," she admits after a moment in a quiet voice, how much longer that must be to explain, how much it would have to entail, what all it would mean.
Jess follows her gaze, and she looks back at Lena after a moment. A part of her wants to ask if she's sure or she doesn't have to or-- or any of those things, but she recognizes that quiet insecure voice as what the demon masquerades as.
So instead, she nods, latching on to this tiny bit of hope, to this light, to this something. "Yeah, that... sounds really good actually," she say, glancing at Lucky and Max again and knowing that they're together, a family, a something. "Thank you."
The last part is said more sincerely than anything else. If Lena never said another word to her, there was so much given alone in seeing something like this.
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Once upon a time, it was that way for her. She didn't know there were other alternatives. She didn't know there was something other than complete inevitability. She didn't know that demons could strive to do something other than what their nature prescribed to them.
And it's very dark, and it's very scary, and if you listen to the voice long enough, it's very lonely. You start to believe it. That you can't be good. Will never be good enough. That you'll destroy everything you touch, so you either touch to destroy or you don't touch at all.
It's all the more powerful when you're that young, when you're still developing, when your mind is that fragile. It doesn't matter how strong you are as a person--you've so recently changed into a completely different species it's as if you're born again. You're new, your mind is new, and part of it isn't your own.
It's a very real, very present, very constant fear and struggle.
"Hmmm, I'd definitely say so. I'm horribly biased, but it makes it no less true," Lena says, the fond smile still in place. She knows someday Max will have a Calling of his own. Some day he will have his own voice, his own struggle, and she hopes to be there for him. She now doesn't have to worry about limited time.
Not the way she did before.
She's been strengthened, both in mind and in body, and she can be there for the little boy she loves more than anything.
"It can feel even longer, depending where you're standing from," Lena says in agreement, watching Jess thoughtfully as she looks out. It's all so painfully familiar to her. Lena remembers being that age. She remembers finding it so completely unfamiliar to her. She remembers how easily she'd lose her footing, how constantly she was wracked with doubt.
And guilt. Guilt is one of the most powerful emotions. Maybe especially for a Glaysa, who can both feel it and push it on to others.
Can't really imagine.
"You could," is what Lena says. It's not impossible. She refuses to believe it's impossible for any demon. A lot of it involves their own will, their own determination, but there's always a chance, whether it ends up happening or not.
There's a chance for all of them.
Lena smiles when Jess accepts. It's almost reassuring that she has, almost knowing there would be a voice there that would say no. That would remind her of all the reasons why it shouldn't be possible, remind her there will always be something keeping a tight grip.
Or trying.
Lena's smile remains and she looks over at Jess at Jess, opening the door for her so they can go get their coffee. She doesn't need to be thanked for this. Honestly, if she can help a young demon the way Sonny one day helped her--it's more than enough. But she knows sometimes it helps to say the words, so she accepts them. "You're welcome."
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