open ☾ When people run in circles, it's...

[pplrunincircles]

[OOC: edging towards insanity. ;_; I know it's hard to tag and might be until she snaps out of it for anyone that decides to thread w/ her. Since I know it's confusing, there's only demon blood and it's on her hands and shirt and specks on her face.]

a mad world

I am an angel of death. You only see me before you die.An angel of death walks down a

Comments

I was so not allowed to not tag this.

[inventandforget]

She doesn't make it a habit to wander Chicago at night but sometimes she does. Sometimes something just grabs her and she has the hneed to wander, to walk up and down the streets, to explore the city she already knows so well.

So it's by sheer chance that she's out tonight, just a 'lucky' coincidnece that she happens to be turning down the street that Elizabeth happens to be on.

She watches her for a few moments, studies her because there's obviously something wrong and she's not sure what to make of it for half a second. But then she stops thinking and starts closing the distance between them instead.

"Elizabeth," she says, her voice worried but not nearly hinting at how much. "Elizabeth, you all right, sweetie?" She moves to take her hands, not caring that there's blood. A little blood never scared her, despite what others may think. She's seen enough of it spilt in her time that it's not anything to blink at anymore.

DAW Millie ;__;

[pplrunincircles]

She had been out helping someone die. It's been nonstop lately. She hasn't been able to stop it, doesn't feel right unless there's someone that she's found who will die. It's so intertwined into who she is that the line between angel and Elizabeth is blurred over, overlapping.

So there's that helping them in the future, in the near future. So she is doing what she is supposed to be doing in the end. It's all there is. It's what was meant to be. It's what she is, not who, it's what. She is an angel of death. That's all there is. This is an angel of death wandering the streets, finding those who are dying.

What is happening?

There's a pause as she looks at her face, looks into her eyes looking for it. The death. The dying part of it. She doesn't feel her hands being taken at all. She tilts her head to the side.

"I don't see it," she says, and there's no feeling in it, in the words, in her expression. There's not even recognition yet. "When people see me, they die."

I wanna pet them both. can I pet them both?

[inventandforget]

Millie keeps a hold of her hands, pulling her a little bit closer. She doesn't say anything at first, just holds the girl's gaze to prove to her that nothing is going to happen yet.

Only after a coule of minutes of just standing there, does she actually speak. "Some people see you and they die," she starts quietly. "Other people see you and they live. You see me and I'm still living. I'm not going anywhere, not yet.

She lets go of one of Elizabeth's hands and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. Then gently, she starts wiping away at the blood. She knows what's going on, knows what's happening. She's been friends with angels of death before, she's seen them spiral downwards. It's inevitable really, but there was a part of her tat hoped that maybe, just maybe, Elizabeth would somehow burn too brightly for it to get at her.

But it gets all of them, in some way it gets all of them.

"Elizabeth," she says firmly, as she's cleaning. "I want you to listen to me, okay? Can you hear me?"

petting is encouraged ;_;

[pplrunincircles]

Elizabeth moves in where she pulls her. It's possible anyone could get her to move anywhere at the moment. It hasn't hit her yet that that is who she is. It's moving because of something deeper, something within her. The angel.

She stares at her as she speaks. You see me and I'm still living. How is that possible? How does that happen? She's needed for death, not for life. Death.

"You're living," she repeats it and it sinks in, it sinks in slowly, something painful twisting in all this inability to understand. Elizabeth stares at her hands on her hands. There's not-- there's so much blood there but then there's not much at all. Every time her hands have had blood on them, she's seeing it.

She looks up from her hands again, staring at this woman-- whose he hasn't realized is Millie yet. She hasn't quite realized she is Elizabeth yet.

Elizabeth nods, trying to work past the feeling. The feelings and the numbness and nothing makes sense at all. "I hear. I hear you."

[inventandforget]

"I'm living," she echoes. "I'm living. I'm right here, nothing's gonna come and take me away."

She keeps a hold of her, her hands firm. She's going to pull them to a stoop soon, somewhere that they can sit but right now she's busy trying to get through enough to make a connection.

"Okay," she says. "Good. Listen to me. Concentrate on what I'm saying. I want you to push it back, okay? Push back the death. Push it far away from you. Don't let it try and get you. Don't let it overwhelm you. It' a part of you but it's not everything. There's still a girl in there, still my Elizabeth. Remember? Remember that girl?"

Her hands are tightening and she realizes it, so she forces herself to relax, forces her body to calm down and wills the tension away. She can't be tense right now, can';t be letting it show on her. Elizabeth needs her and she wants to be there for her.

"C'mon baby, we're gonna go sit, okay. Right over there on those steps. We're gonna sit down and you're gonna tell me who you are."

[pplrunincircles]

"Not right now," Elizabeth reminds her, pushing past the tears in her eyes and swallowing thickly. "

Not right now, but death comes for everyone in time. It is one of those inevitable truths. It is not one she hates. It just is. As the insanity that waits her just is.

"Okay," she says softly and she listens and she pushes inside her head at the frays and the edges within her mind. She pushes trying to hold on to her self. Elizabeth. "Yeah. Kind. I'm Elizabeth, and you're... Millie and--"

There's no death. There's the two of them but no death. There doesn't have to be an angel there either, flooding over all the rest. Elizabeth follows wherever she tugs right over to those steps where she sinks down, unable to stand.

"I'm Elizabeth, and I'm 17-- I'm 18 years old, and I'm an angel-" It's always that, but it has to be more than that too. She pulls her legs up against her chest, closing her eyes. "I'm- I don't know. I don't know. I can't think. I'm scared I won't be-- I won't find it."

[inventandforget]

"And maybe not with you," she counters. "You may never see me die." She knows she's not immune to death, knows that it comes for them all, but when she does die, she's leaving Chicago, she's going far away from anyone who knows her and she's dying in a place where no one knows her name.

"Good girl," she encourages. "Good girl. Keep going."

And she does and it makes Millie smile. She crouches down in front of Elizabeth, looking her in the eye, watching as she tries to piece together the person that she is.

"You'll find it honey, you just have to keep pushing. Think, remember. There's more to you than that. More than the calling. Think about it, You're Elizabeth, you're eighteen. What else are you?"

[pplrunincircles]

Elizabeth nods in understanding though that scares her more than seeing her die. She would rather be there for her friends when they do die than to leave them alone. No one should die alone. No one should ever die alone.

She looks up from her shoes and into Millie's eyes, swallowing past the feeling in her throat.

"I'm--" Her hands slide into her hair, and she closes her eyes. "I sing. I love to sing, and I love to bake. I love Josef. He's my boyfriend, and he's been... my boyfriend for almost two years, and I'm bad at drawing and art stuff. I'm not that smart bu I don't really mind, and I'm..."

Fff, her head.

[inventandforget]

But it would be her choice and she would be content with it. She's not scared of death, not scared that it might hurt or anything. She knows that it will come for her and she's ready to accept it when it does. She doesn't need anyone to help her along, she can go by herself in to whatever waits for her.

"Good girl, good girl. Keep going." Moves so that her hands are cradling Elizabeth's face. "C'mon, tell me one more thing. One more thing."

She probably won't, she'll encourage her to keep talking, keep telling her about herself but she won't pull quite so fiercely, won't try and get Elizabeth to say anything that would bring her back to herself.

[pplrunincircles]

Elizabeth swallows down something that hurts, something that burns. It tightens her throat, and she closes her eyes past the feeling there. The burning that threatens to break through into tears.

"I love the song... Dream A Little Dream of Me. It's my favorite," she says quietly, closing her eyes before opening them again. "Say nighty night and kiss me, just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me, while I'm alone and blue as can be dream a little dream of me."

She pauses.

"Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you."

[inventandforget]

"But in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me," she finishes, her tone not quite singing it.

"That's really good, Elizabeth," she makes it a point to emphasize her name. "Really, I'm proud of you. You did good, sweetie."

She pulls her forward, leaves a kiss against her hair. "You'll be fine, baby. Okay. You'll be fine, you just gotta keep remembering. Gotta keep telling yourself who you are. Remember that, remember Josef, remember all those songs you love to sing and sing them, okay? Sing them when you start to forget who you are."

[pplrunincircles]

Elizabeth smiles when Millie fills in the rest of it. It's a song that her grandmother used to sing to her a long time ago.

"I did?" She looks up at her, and the smile is tentative, broken, searching but she's more there than she was only minutes ago. "Thanks."

She reaches her arms out to hug Millie when Millie presses a kiss to her hair. Elizabeth swallows tightly, tears burning at the edges of her eyes, but she nods several times. "I'll be fine," she agrees. For now. Everyone really only has for now, and it's both a comfort and a scary thing sometimes. "I'll remember Josef and you and the song, and I'll sing it any time. Th-- thank you."

[inventandforget]

It's a song Millie just knows. She's been around long enough that she's gotten more than one chance to see it preformed live by some of the greats and it has been wonderful. If she had the ability to time travel, she would bring Elizabeth to see some of those days. She deserves it.

"You did, baby. You did amazing." She strokes her hair, smiling at her. "The very best I could hope for."

She wraps her arms tight around the girl, holding her there and not letting go for a few moments. "Don't thank me, sweetie, please. I'll do it every time if I get the chance. I love you, okay? I do and I'll do this a thousand times over if I gotta."

[pplrunincircles]

It runs through her head sometimes. It's a good song. It makes her feel good,a and she holds so many memories to it now. Good and bad. They're still memories that she's happy to have had.

"Thank you," Elizabeth says softly, closing her eyes again. "If I ever knew my mom, I would-- I would hope she'd have been like you. It's what I like to think."

It's what she likes to imagine her mom was like. Millie. She was supposed to be a happy person, a warm person. Elizabeth has pictures and one video tape, and that's all really but it's enough.

"I love you too," she says, pressing her lips together and burying her face against her. "I do."

[inventandforget]

She can't help but laugh at that. "Thank you, hon," she smiles a little. "I'm not much of a mom but thanks." She's not. She thought about it, thought about brining her own child into the world but she was selfish, she was scared and didn't know what she would do if things went wrong. She didn't want to take the risk.

Children who were already there were one thing, she could help them, be friends with them, do what she needs to do to make them happy but one she would bring into the world? No, she couldn't do that. She saw things go wrong too often to think she could do that well.

She is just going to wrap her up in a hug again now, hold her close and let her stay for as long as she wants. She has nowhere to go and nothing more important than this. For as long as she needs her, Elizabeth is her world.