[open] and i'll never need a lie
Lena Austen lost her cross necklace a few hours ago. She doesn't think of herself as a materialistic person. The necklace means something to her. That's why she is crouched beside a bench in Grant Park, looking for said necklace in the grass. She must've dropped it there while she was running. Running from who? She'll never tell
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"We're not dying," she says very seriously. It's one thing to tease him when he's being ornery. It's another to tease him when he's scared. She'd never do that. "I've been in worse scrapes before. These kinds of things? Fall through the Rift all the time. They're big, yeah, but they're dumb--"
And she knows what's happening before it takes place. She knows that look. Her eyes widen slightly in panic and concern, and her hand darts out to find his.
"Lucky," she says, really, really hating that he sounds so scared. Her own chest is seized by panic, and the thin layer of control she's keeping is slipping. "Just breathe--"
The hand she was attempting to keep a hold on is a paw. The trash can shakes violently. You'd think they were tossed into a blender. She yelps, her shoulder knocking into the lid as it slides open. She really does think they're going to die.
Except they never hit the concrete. She falls and falls and falls and when the surface breaks it's a body of water. How they ended up in Navy Pier she'll never know.
And she won't be able to answer, as she shifted into a beagle hound mid-splash.
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He is trying to not be terrified, because it's not helpful at all to be this scared, but holy shit Godzilla. "Yes, they're dumb, but they're big too, and I think that by nature of being smashed, it would be easy to die in this... scenario."
Lucky grabs hold of her hand when she reaches, tightening his hold on her hand. He is trying, trying to fight against the urge to shift, and it's not working.
"I'm trying, Lena. I'm not--" He doesn't want to die, and he hates that his immediate reaction instead of breaking free or praying or something is to become a fox.
They are falling and falling. Lucky is hardly aware that he is falling, because he remembers being in darkness... deep deep loud darkness tumbling tumbling around.
And they are falling. He crash lands into the water and eventually fights his way back up to the surface of the water as a very wet, very cold, very frantic fox. Oh. There's a big dog.. a big dog that smells like WATER. Everything smells like water.
Where is land?
He is not a fox fish. He is a fox.
Lucky, the fox, starts swimming in circles searching for LAND.
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"Yes, but we won't. We won't. Trust me, okay?" she asks, and she doesn't blame him at all for being terrified. She'd be more terrified if it wasn't for the fact she's lived in Chicago for two years already.
The first time she was confronted with a monster, she wasn't sure how to react. Her world didn't have them. Angels and demons, yes. Godzilla-like monsters, no. One gets used to them eventually and... Lena isn't always sure that's a good thing.
"I know," she says quietly, squeezing his hand back. She holds onto it, her other hand darting out to his cheek. "Lucky, look at me--"
Ffff.
For all the things she has gotten used to, she will never get used to the way her whole body paralyzes once the freezing water assaults her system, shapeshifter form or no.
It takes a while for her to kick herself back into gear, swimming as fast as her paws can take her.
Boppy!Lena flops on dry land a shivering mess, hiding under a tree. She will stay under this tree. She will not move until she stops shivering and is no longer wet. That is her game plan.
No one ever said the puppy was particularly bright.
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Okay, the monster itself is scary whether or not, it ends up killing them. There is a lot of reason to be afraid in this scenario, despite the fact that he does trust her.
He looks at her when she tells him to or he tries to look at her. It's difficult to see in the dark of the trash can, but he can make out her features in the thin light that slides through the openings in the lid above them. If they could see each other, she would see his shiny shiny eyes. COUGH. Daw, Lucky, the narration loves you for srs. Ahem. Lucky can't imagine getting used to this, but he'll have to if he intends on staying.
"I'm sor-" It's about all he gets out before he shifts into a fox.
The water feels like ice, and it is fogging up his fox brain, which is why he is slower to find his way out of it. As soon as he does, he shakes and his fur poofs out.
The fox is shivering and dripping water, which feels like ice. He puts one paw in front of the other, and it feels like every movement is mechanical, slow. Lucky goes to call out for ...Lena (mind working slow in the freeze and the animal), but instead it comes out sounding a weak and pitiful cry.
He follows the scent on the ground. The familiar scent to the tree and plops down, curling around Boppy!Lena, still shivering.
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It's possible Lena's small howl is even weaker and more pathetic. Her heart's beating too quickly. Her bones hurt when she tries to stand. There is no fur to shield her and she already gets colder than most people do. It's twelve degrees outside.
Twelve degrees and her clothes are nowhere in sight. That she can see, anyway.
All she knows is she is freezing and miserable and doesn't want to move or wants to move too quickly and without any planned direction. She shakes and shivers uncontrollably, curling into herself and leaning against Lucky's fur.
Another pitiful whimper and she's hiding under Lucky's fur.
...The narration only hopes, for Lucky's sake so he does not suffer more humiliation, there is no shifting in the next five minutes.
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It's the sound of the small howl that draws the fox to Lena's side. The pathetic, weak sound makes his little fox heart call out! Where is the dog? It follows the sound and then flops down beside her.
It is much too cold outside, and there is no easy way to get warm. The fox looks around as the puppy curls under cold, wet fur. There has to be something that's warmer somewhere. His gaze darts around and never really settles on anything.
The fox stands up and nips at the pup's ear. Follow me! Follow me! I will lead us to warmth! Your ear is in my mouth so you should listen to me!
...yeah Lucky is metaly, REALLY hoping there is not a shift imminent for either of them right about now.
But the imagery that this is providing the narration with is hilarious. Naked!Lucky biting a puppy ear. Naked!Lena having her ear bit by a fox. Or... ahem.
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Puppy pulls away while Lena's brain starts kicking into overdrive. She sprints away as fast as her legs take her. She's normally fast, and in puppy form that's only doubly true.
The puppy wants warmth but Lena wants necklace. She turns and turns and looks for any visible trace of clothes. Once she finds them she places them at the edge of the water before swimming back into it. She does not resurface until she is already back in human form and with the necklace in her grip.
"Lucky?" she asks through chattering teeth. Her hands tighten their hold on the necklace as she crawls back out the water, coughing up some of it as she goes.
The concern grows once the shapeshifting brain is fully gone and it's only Lena. "Lucky?"
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He tries chasing after the puppy, but he can't keep up with her. The puppy is much faster than the fox, and the fox lets out another pitiful sound, very confused and lonely. Where did the puppy go?
Into the water?
What if she drowns?
The fox dives into the water, and the shock of it has Lucky shifting back into a human. He drags himself out of the water and back on to the ground. Where did Lena go? He starts searching around, picking up cardboard to hold over his manly bits... ahem. Lucky is down further on land when he hears her voice.
"I'm here! I'm okay," he says, running back to her side. His teeth are chattering, and he looks at her with concern, because she's a demon and she's going to be much, much colder. "We have to stop... getting so naked... outside... in the winter."
Lucky holds up what he found on his venture. "I found some blankets. They're a little damp and probably left by someone who's homeless so there might be who knows what in it, but..."
He drapes one over her before wrapping the other blanket around himself.
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"So what you're saying is being naked inside is--" she stops herself, almost ruefully. "Won't go there now."
She is still shivering pretty violently, her hand wringing the water out of her hair while she covers as much of herself as she can. At least she found her combat boots. And her necklace. "Sorry, I just didn't want to lose the necklace," she explains, lifting it up to show him before placing it back around her neck.
Some things she just isn't willing to part with, and if she'd lost her necklace, the only thing from back home she has, there would have been an epic tantrum and maybe some tears.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Lena asks softly, scanning the length of him.
Not the manly bits, Lucky. Promise. It wasn't even ten minutes ago he was terrified and having a hard time breathing.
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He stares at her as she starts to go there, laughing and smiling a little awkwardly even as she cuts herself off. Lucky nods. Yes, not going there now. While he's shivering and they're both still very naked, it's best to figure out how to get out of here and get clothes.
Lucky glances at the necklace and then nods. "It's... okay. I understand. I know how important the necklace is. I was worried about you, but you weren't exactly in a position to communicate and I wasn't... either. The ear biting--" He winces, rubbing the back of his neck. "I am sorry about that."
He doesn't even really remember the logic that the fox brain had had. Saying that a fox brain has logic is probably giving it too much credit.
He looks at her as she scans him, at the soft sound of her voice, and Lucky knows why she asks. "I'm... sure. Now that Godzilla is no longer throwing us around in a tin can. It's just-- Everyone's said that there are monsters, but that was my first and it's different when you're actually looking at one. It's terrifying in person and my mind just jumped to that fear. I couldn't find courage and I've-- that's never really happened to me before, but it has to be... one of those things you get used to, right?"
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The narration promises Lena will not go there at all, leaving the jokes to Lou and the rest.
She can't, however, hide the tiny smile curving on her lips. "It wasn't a bite. So much as a nibble. Tiny gnaw, perhaps." Her hand darts up to the ear in question, fingertips gently tracing the lobe with tiny marks. "Apology accepted. I won't go around telling everyone how Lucky Spencer was nibbling on my ear if you don't tell anyone I was hiding under your fur."
"It's okay if you don't get used to it, Lucky," she says quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around her frame. As glad as she is to have found him, as seamless as it's been to have him be her partner, sometimes she wonders if he isn't better off. This life, it costs you at some point, and a monster on the streets is the least of a Wanderer's worries, when it comes down to it.
"It's okay if you can't find it the next time, or the one after that. You get used to pushing the fear aside, but it's... it's gonna be there because it's scary."
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Lucky smiles back at her a little. "It was a firm nibbling on your ear," he says, wincing and leaning in to have a look at her ear. It is so odd how that works, and he doesn't like that there are marks there from his nibbling but... the fox is to be blamed. "Thank you for accepting the apology. We'll keep both of our secrets safe, and we'll... move on from there."
He closes his eyes and glances down before his gaze finds hers again. "Is it? If you live in this city and you never... get used to godzilla tossing you around, what happens to you? Can you survive this place?"
It's not to say that he thinks it will happen to him. He has always been good at surviving and adapting, which comes from years of moving around, but he has to wonder. Oh, Lena. Lucky doesn't think he'd be better off at all.
"You... hide your fear well," Lucky says, wrapping the blanket more tightly around his body as well, motioning for them to start walking... somewhere out of the cold. "I would almost think you didn't fear anything except I saw it today... I could sense it, I mean. I know that's... strange to say, but you still... you were still much calmer than I was, not as terrified. Are you always shoving it down or is it just that you rarely feel fear anymore? Did you get used to it all?"
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There are never any easy questions when it comes to this, are there? Lena meets his gaze and doesn't answer at first. When she does, it's still quiet. "You can survive in a place without growing desensitize to what happens in it, Lucky. Sometimes, that's better. If it all becomes so normal and stops affecting you to the point it's accepted, it's--" Lena shakes her head, not quite sure how to explain it.
She begins to walk, fingers curled into the cloth. She keeps his gaze on him before focusing it on the long, narrow street ahead. "Every minute of every hour of every day, I'm shoving something down. I give myself allowances to be blunt and do what I want in some things because I have to be very self-disciplined in others. It isn't that I'm hiding fear or anything else, it's just me...controlling it. Because I have to."
And it's exhausting, but she hasn't reached that stage yet. It comes, though. It always does.
When she's so unrestrained in her way of thinking and caring and laughing, it's because she's so limited in everything else.
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He maintains his gaze on hers. Her eyes are beautiful and honest. It's the eyes, cowboy. What Luke always said. The eyes are the hardest part to mask, and she has never been anything less but real and honest with him. "It seems like it would be difficult to survive without becoming at least a little desensitized. You wouldn't be able to react like you should in situations like that, but I can see... how it might be better too to not let this be normal."
It's hard for him to imagine it being normal to run into monsters, to react without that immediate feeling of fear. Lucky walks beside her, wondering at how they must look to other people. Two naked strangers wrapped in crummy blankets.
Lucky is quiet too and then he stops to turn and look at her. "And you have to control it because of the calling," he says, filling in the gaps that aren't there. He remembers what it was like in the height of withdrawal shoving down the need for more pills, to experience that every moment of every day. Concern hits him, and he can't keep it from his face as he looks at her. "That must be... exhausting."
She doesn't have to say it for him to figure it out.
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"Everything has its pros and cons. And no matter what they tell you, being here isn't just about surviving. If you survive and grow numb to it all, what's the point?"
There'd be no point. It's the greatest reason she never uses her powers. Ever.
Lena slows down at his observation. She doesn't seem too surprised he's figured it out. It's been on her mind lately, more than usual. And it isn't just because of her birthday. It isn't that she thinks the moment the turns twenty-five her mind starts to splinter. She knows it doesn't work like that. But every year that goes by is one year that she gets closer to what's... inevitable. And as much as she loves her unconventional life, there's that moment where she wishes she was human.
"Yeah, it's really exhausting," she says quietly, clearing her throat. "But it's better than the alternative. At least for now." She smiles up at him once she sees his concern, never once to consciously make anything harder or sadder than it needs to be. "I've got time."
Time before what, she can't be certain. Time before she loses her mind? Time before she gives in? Time before both?
She tucks a strand of hair over her ear and then turns to walking, faster than before. "Listen, I've still got time to change into another dress and carry out the mission in time. I know you've had enough surprises for the night, so... go back to the Crowbar and tell them I might be a little late?"
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...yes, that went to the tune of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
"There wouldn't be a point," Lucky agrees. "But it feels like there should be a balance so you can survive without losing the parts of yourself that make you... you. I guess finding that balance isn't exactly easy though, and who wants to chance it?"
In the end, their humanity is all that they really have. It gives them the ability to love and to care, to have a family like the one that awaits them back at the bar. It gives them a greater purpose than material wealth of any kind. If he wasn't paid for this, he wouldn't mind. He doesn't do it for the money. The payment comes from something else, and it's the family that he's been able to become apart of.
Lucky nods at her answer, hating to have brought the subject up if there's nothing he can do to make it better. What's the point in rehashing something that's clearly painful for her? Even if she's smiling at him now. I've got time means that time is limited, a few days, a few months, a few years? How long? He can't help wondering because... he cares about her.
He gives her a look, walking fast enough to catch up with her. "What? And let you have all the fun by yourself? I'd like to let you know you're being incredibly unfair. I'm a cop, remember? Can't stand for unfairness. It's against the law," There's that almost smile on his face and in his eyes again as if it's so easy to wipe that darkness away. It's not but he's trying, because there's nothing that can be done. "It's my mission, and I'm not calling it a night until it's over."
And the smile fades, he becomes serious again. "You're my partner, Lena. Where else would I be?"
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