Still I'm spinning like a roundabout in motion

[allmydiredreams]

On the front of the Kashtta, there is a small heap of angles, knotted hair, and tattered clothes. It's up against the Kashtta's wall, one hand pressed flat against the building's wall and face totally obscured by tangles. For a good few minutes, it doesn't move, but then with a small gasp, the hand balls into a fist, hits the wall, then uncurls

Comments

[sophicsulphur]

Making the assumption that the man with the huge pile of books and papers is him-- and her senses read angel, powerful and clear, so it probably is-- Iris finds herself glad Kaden chose to sit outside. Right now, the sight and smell of coffee shops reminds her of falling debris and screams of fear, of a hopeful new venture torn apart by the predators of this city. Indoors, she'd probably only feel claustrophobic

[doyoulikecake]

Kaden glances up when Iris calls out, giving her an automatic smile, though there's an edge to the practiced congeniality of said smile. It's hard to smile without it getting a little too far into the nasty side of things, so he doesn't do it for very long, instead taking another drag on his cigarette.

Iris, right. The one who had the strange notes in the journals. (He doesn't think--is totally not thinking about his own accidental notes, now locked down and locked down hard. That shouldn't have happened. But despite the emphatic not-thinking-about-it, his shoulders twitch

[sophicsulphur]

She does note the edginess of his smile, but it doesn't bother her terribly. Not more than her jitters in general do, anyway. He's clearly got something on his mind, and whatever it is he's put himself out to meet with her anyway, and if that's taking its toll, well, she can forgive that he's acting a bit out of it given how polite he's being about it.

She's also aware of that twitch, and maybe it's just nerves in general but she thought she'd heard something about angels hiding their wings and that being painful, and she's a beat away from saying it's okay, you don't have to do that around me, but thinks better of it. For all she knows, that's a highly socially inappropriate thing to say. Even if-- especially if-- she'd have an ulterior motive for saying it. If she were an angel, she'd never hide her wings. They're far too pretty

[doyoulikecake]

Oh Iris, Kaden will take any opportunity at all to play nice with tiny wanderer girls. Or really, anyone who might be at all interesting, and her journal entry certainly was. He's of the opinion that if they don't turn out worth his time, he can just walk away. It's worked for him so far

[sophicsulphur]

Iris certainly is of the archetype, yes. Though if anything about her provokes the predator in Kaden, she misses it completely. Right now, he could do anything short of holding a knife to her throat and she'd pass off her increased heart rate as a mixture of the tensions in the air. It's all she can focus on, right now, her anxiousness to push this forward and the energy she's feeling from him.

"You should stop by," she says with a smile. "I'm sure they're willing to have people who aren't Wanderers take them, since they've just got so many. They're teleporting, immortal kittens, too, apparently."

Oh, no, she most definitely would not have said that if she knew what Kaden was like.

"It's not?" It's another distracted comment, and normally any other time she would have been interested in that, because she knows nothing of the world beyond Chicago. It feels to her, these days, like Chicago is her world, its boundaries the boundaries of all accessible existence. It's a feeling that has precedence. Her last and only prior home had been

[doyoulikecake]

At this point, just about anything provokes the predator in Kaden. It's not a difficult thing to do, really. He's already tucked her name away, just in case he needs something. Right now it's too soon, and he knows that; that doesn't stop him from wanting

[sophicsulphur]

Witnessing his stretching is making her own skin twitchy, right around her shoulder blades. It's psychosomatic more than anything, like watching someone scratch or yawn. The feeling is contagious, and it doesn't take much to draw Iris' attention back to the wings she feels should be there. Feels are almost there, in some shadow-form, lending a phantom weight that flickers at the edges of her senses.

Circling her shoulders doesn't help her, either, but she feels like it should just the same.

He's faded out the conversation, making it quick, and she's grateful for that, so grateful. She guesses he senses her urgency, and she's right about that. The only difference in truth is that she thinks that he's being polite.

He's so nice, she thinks, even if I can barely stay civil. I really am going to have to speak with him some other time, about something that isn't just this. Just to make him feel better. Feel like this wasn't all I wanted.But right now, that's not an option. She leans her elbows on the table and props her forehead in her

[doyoulikecake]

He notices the twitching, and wonders at it; does she, as a wanderer, have the same problems as angels do? For a moment, he briefly wishes that he could sense more from her than just 'wanderer', though he'd imagine that if she were an angel he'd get some underlying sense of that as well. Not that he's sure

[sophicsulphur]

She imagines she looks ridiculous, awaiting his return like some nervous animal; hurting and lost without the possibility of language, of words that could undo this feeling. It doesn't really matter that she does, any more. Her eyes are on him the moment he's emerged, and she shoots him a smile, though it's hardly easy. Her mouth feels like it's coated with sand

[doyoulikecake]

Perhaps she does look ridiculous to others, but to Kaden, 'hurting and lost' of any kind is, in its own way, perfect. The insincere smile, the way she keeps watching him -- he wants to get his hands on her, find pressure points and the places that cause her pain, see what she'll do to make it stop.

Maybe he needs to take Molly up on that torture session soon. Or work on Lily. Or something. Maybe he just needs to go to work.

He takes a drag on the cigarette, thinking about what she's said, and about what she hasn't. It's the hasn't that he's more interested in. What she's really getting at. Where she's lying, where she's telling the truth. What her ulterior motive is; it's obvious, now, that there is one. He can see the need in her face.

"Well, angelic status is hereditary, though they're still looking into the source of the Callings -- that's not what you're asking." Another drag, and one hand goes up to absently knead at his shoulder, fingers pressing hard against the muscles. "But I suppose it is possible the Rift

[sophicsulphur]

She'll grab at that sliver of hope, that he has an inkling of a reason, though it doesn't really soothe her. It just sustains. Keeps her going for a moment longer. Her expression's open, naked, now, not even trying to hold anything back.

"I-- my wings." Not that they're her wings, not that she has them, but they're so clear in her mind now. And she likes the way it feels, to call them hers. It eases the pain a little.

"It's like there's-- something that wants to come out," and she reaches around to touch her back, at that, less to show him than because she needs to, and gods she needs to, watching him all twitchy-- "but... I can't... there's nothing, you know? Not really, it just... feels like there is

[doyoulikecake]

He just watches her through all of it, his expression blank but his stare just as intense, matching hers. The way her need shows so clearly on her face, the way she's just so blindly trusting him, someone she's just met. The desperation in the way her hands trace across her own shoulders, mirroring his own actions.

At first, he doesn't say anything to reply, just tilts his head at her as though studying an animal. In a way, he is, though he makes sure he gets to know most of his personal projects. Even the subjects at work he spends a little time reading up on, learning their names, figuring out who they are, even if they never know who he is. He'd prefer that to be different, but safety does occasionally have to come before science

[sophicsulphur]

She's not expecting him near so fast, her mind focusing in almost entirely on their words until it's too late, and he's standing behind her, his hands on her back.

It's cold. Cold like angel, but moreover like lancing, stabbing shock, her nerves sensitised from hyperfocus and whatever part of this isn't purely wanting, isn't just her thinking herself into a delirious state of need.

"Yes, it--" She winces through the words, a clear break in her voice. "It hurts. It hurts where you touch." She takes a deep breath, tries to gather herself, because that's not quite what she means, and she wants to be accurate. "Not... not quite pain. But...." She fumbles for the word, in all her spinning. Too much, breaking down, it's-- "Overload. I feel overloaded. My shoulder blades, there's-- too much pressure."

She's so close to crying let them out, so close to just... crying. He can take a knife to her if he has to. Just hearing about how it feels for an angel, what it's like to have wings come in, and the touching. It's pressure from both sides.

[doyoulikecake]

Well, he is an angel, though his speed now has nothing to do with his angelic powers and more to do with his...speed. The cold, however, is angelic. The clammy is not. No matter

[sophicsulphur]

She looks up at him, and there's comfort in his tone and warmth, if not physical, in his touch. She tries to still her urge to cry, to whimper, to wrap her arms tightly around herself and just let herself come apart. It wouldn't be polite, and she's hardly been caring, but his touch and his words are just focus enough to remind her, no, it's not fair on him.

So she swallows her tears when he says you're not one of us, though she can't still her shaking. It's too much to face right now. But I, she almost begins to stammer, but I felt it, so real, but she holds herself back. If she speaks, the tears will come. She just nods, like it's okay, even though it's anything but.

But then he's throwing her another lifeline, a golden shining thread of hope, and she'll be cursed if she doesn't clutch it, with everything she's got. The small still shock of it, not everything, but something, is enough to bolster her, to give her the strength to force words out of her closed-up throat

[doyoulikecake]

He knows that well. How many times did he drive Lily to this point, only to pull her into his arms again and comfort her? that's almost what he does with Iris, as well. It seems like it would work, but he doesn't want to comfort her, not yet. Perhaps not ever, though all good experiments leave the option open. If you break something too badly, you need to either put it back together or dispose of it properly, and he doesn't think Biosys would appreciate him using Lyle in that way. Or maybe they would. No matter; he'd prefer not to break his toys too badly anyway