I am cold against your skin, you are perfectly reflected [forward-dated to Thurs]

[allmydiredreams]

[OOC: Pretend this totally happens Thursday; I just won't be around during the day tomorrow so I figured I'd throw it up here now. :)]

The Crown Fountain is one of the few things about the weird amalgamation that is Grant and Millenium Park that hasn't been destroyed, by some miracle. It's still there, the extra-large faces still spitting out

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[pplrunincircles]

"Then you'll probably always fear it, because you'll never feel like you've fulfilled your calling. I mean, there's always something more, right? There's always more to know," Elizabeth says, biting down on her lower lip as she considers this calling business. It rarely makes sense to her. "I mean, it kinda depends on the person, doesn't it? Some people don't embrace their callings. Even though no one can escape it completely, some people don't... go all in. How much choice do we have? It's confusing."

It's not like she can really judge anyone for not embracing it. It isn't fair that they were given these callings without choice, without much extra help beyond their strength. She embraces hers, because it's her destiny. It's her role in the world.

It is her, and she doesn't know how to be anything else. Even if she lost the other parts of herself, the angel would remain. Always. It's the only thing that could never be stripped from her.

Elizabeth looks at him, strangely. Her jaw locks a bit. "I'd go a week knowing someone I loved was going to die, and I wouldn't try to stop it." She takes in a deep breath, hand slipping behind her neck as she stares at the pavement. "I'd like to think I wouldn't. I'm not here to interfere in fate. It's not my role to decide when someone dies, just to be there when it happens."

Her fingers slide up into the hair. She turns her head quickly to him. The implication is easy for her to pick up, if only because they're on the subject. A loved one killing someone. An animal dying. Death is familiar to her.

"Yes..." Her gaze searches his face and then drops to the bird. "You're not... going to..."

She doesn't really know what to think.

[doyoulikecake]

"Very probably," Kaden agrees. "I already feel like I could go a lifetime and not get what I needed to do done. Maybe it's not that way for people who fight the Calling, or for someone with a different one." It's something he's interested in finding out, someday, even if it's not quite down his Calling's line of research. Doesn't mean it's not interesting, and he can always bend Calling research to fit his own when need be. Like now, to point out a very informal example.

He doesn't notice her strange look, because he's distracted by the bird, not looking at her. But he nods, committing her answer to memory. He's gotten what he wanted out of that answer, not that he's expecting to ever see it put to use. But if it were -- for a moment he wishes he could orchestrate some way to see her witness that, without endangering himself or his relationship with her.

Were it any other acquaintence, he might not care, but he doesn't want to sever ties with this one quite yet. He likes Elizabeth.

He does look over at her when she reaches the conclusion he was hoping she would. For a moment he stares at her, devoid of emotion -- it's easy to do, when he's this tired. Then he grins. Laughs.

"Of course not!" he says, finally opening his hand, letting the sparrow flit away, all while still watching her. Then he shakes his head, mostly at himself, and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Sorry, the topic's just been on my mind -- death, not killing small animals. I guess that combined with the insomnia and the..." He trails off, not really wanting to explain how terrible he feels, and instead just makes a small jittery motion with a hand and continues on: "And a morbid sense of humor doesn't work out so well. Should we go inside?"

All's perfectly normal here, Elizabeth. Well, except for the fact that he's a little wary of standing up, now that he's snapped out of his weird Calling stupor and has realized exactly how much he's shaking. This isn't just hangover or caffeine. Dammit.

[pplrunincircles]

Elizabeth nods. She doesn't really know, which is why she asks, but she figures if anyone would know, it'd be him. It'd be him or Josef. It's why she is more likely to go to them with questions than anyone else. They know so much more than anyone else that she's ever met, at least that's the way that it seems.

She looks at him for a moment. The uncertainty in her expression remains even a moment into his laugh, but then a smile slips across her face. The bird is flying away. Her chest relaxes as relief floods through her. It seems silly to have jumped to such a conclusion. She laughs, too. It comes easily enough, especially considering what they were just talking about.

"Sorry! I don't know why... I thought--" She stops herself from actually saying the words and then wrinkles her nose, waving a hand. "It's okay. The topic is on my mind a lot, too. Obviously."

Her finger twirls a strand of hair around it, and she nods. "Yeah, we can. Should probably get the actual session underway, huh? I totally did my homework. Do- ...Are you sure you're okay?" Concern replaces uncertainty and laughter. She looks him up and down. "Is there something I can do to help? I mean, like get you food or... I dunno."

The angel is still the most intense part of her mind at the moment, because the conversation about death remains at the forefront of her mind. The angel notices those little things that the rest of her might not be perceptive enough to see... like how much he is shaking.

[doyoulikecake]

Kaden finally does get up after her, swaying a bit and frowning at himself. It's always annoying when other people notice. But he steadies himself on the nearby railing for a moment and then picks up his bag, swinging it onto a shoulder. "Yeah, I'm okay," he lies. He'll be okay in a bit. "Though I should probably lay off the caffeine for a little bit. I'll grab a candy bar or something out of the vending machines when we go in."

He can stomach a candy bar, he tells himself. It's not like it's an actual meal, and it won't make him sick if it doesn't have coconut in it. Actually, he'll avoid nuts, too. And -- no, he's not avoiding the candy bar.

He starts up the stairs, trusting that Elizabeth will follow, just as though nothing's happened. "You do pretty well in the homework department, usually," he says with a smile over his shoulder. "I'll admit, I was a little worried given the past few weeks, but it's not like we cant go over whatever you don't finish, on the days that you don't manage it. Not that you should take that as leniency, now. What were you going to say?"

Because it's important that he knows everything, or something. It could have been important, even though knowing Elizabeth, it was just a bit more rambling. Even still, her rambling can give her away, sometimes. It's why he doesn't mind her rambling nearly so much as one might think.

[pplrunincircles]

Elizabeth nods when he says that he's okay. She believes him. Why wouldn't she? She trusts him, and he has no reason to lie to her, unless he's trying to be all manly and not admit to having a moment of weakness. "Cool," she says. "Candy bars are good, especially the very chocolate-y ones! If you get a whole bunch together, you can build a candy city. They work really well for buildings, and-- Not that I would know from experience."

She winces. Someday she will learn to stop lying, even about the silly things that shouldn't matter. She really, really will. Or she'll just keep having words pop out of her mouth, before she has the chance to think about the consequences. Sometimes she's afraid that she's completely incapable of change where it would actually be good for her to change.

Elizabeth follows, smiling back at him. "I really want to learn and to get that GED. It's important. Plus, you're good with the tutoring. It makes it easier for me to work on my homework later."

She blinks at his question. Her brain is already miles away from whatever she'd been saying before. Focus is still something she strives for.

"Uhm. I forgot," Elizabeth says after several moments of intense searching through her brain. "I'd say it probably wasn't important, but I kinda forget stuff that is important a lot of the time so... I don't know. Maybe it'll come back to me."

Elizabeth pulls the strap of her back pack further up on her shoulders, biting down on her lower lip. Maybe it will come to her if she thinks harder. Somehow. It totally doesn't hurt to think any harder either. Nope.

[doyoulikecake]

Kaden's inside already, digging in his pocket for any loose change; he'd really rather not search his bag for any, or break a dollar for a candy bar. He finds himself holding the moleskine instead, and frowns at it for a moment. Can't now. He has to teach now. So he drops it in his bag, then finally comes up with some quarters. (The narration is simply wondering if he's borrowed his pockets from The Doctor or something.)

So a minute and a candy bar later -- just a Hershey's, as he decided he didn't want nougat either -- he's laughing at Elizabeth's concentrating face. "Don't pull anything in your brain, kiddo," he says. "I'm sure it wasn't important."

[pplrunincircles]

Elizabeth is still concentrating heavily until he speaks again, and then she smiles a little helplessly. It's the Yeah, I'm dumb smile that comes so easily for her.

"Yeah, it probably wasn't," she admits, wrapping her hands over her backpack straps. "And I'd hate to pull something in my brain before we begin, because then it'd make it really difficult for you. Best to keep the brain in tip top shape. I'll probably remember when I least expect it."

It's how it usually works out.

[doyoulikecake]

"Well, if you do, feel free to interrupt and let me know, so long as what we're doing isn't too important," Kaden tells her, unwrapping his candy bar and breaking a piece off. He pops it in his mouth before he can really think about the fact that he's eating something he doesn't particularly want, but needs.

Then he offers the bar in Elizabeth's direction with a raised eyebrow and a nod toward the actual inside of the library. "Shall we?" he asks. Time to get this over with so he can record.