Oh, it's so ironic; you've got the good book, your name's still on it

[silkandstone]

There are a lot of commuters on Chicago's streets today, who can be caught between or at their destinations.

Ruvin is on her way to see Wyatt. She wasn't sure about doing this, but... She felt better, last time she was there, however brief their talk was. And even if the medication has side effects that she didn't expect, it still helped her

Comments

[mindbulletz]

"Those are all legitimate fears to have, but until you face them and talk about them, they'll remain in your head. We can work together on how to best prevent those fears from coming true."

Wyatt raises an eyebrow when she continues. It's nice to see a little bit of that aggravated spark in her still. It's much more interesting when it takes concentrated effort for them to trust him.

He continues to pull. Slow, steady, subtle. Not so much that the effort should ever appear on his face. It's a practiced skill at this point. When he was 16, any stranger on the street could tell. Now it's as easy and natural as speech.

"That's understandable. It's alright for you to not trust me though there's only so much that I can do while you think of me as being on the opposite side, an enemy. I want to help and I hope that what I learn from my interactions with you (and what I have learned from your experience with the last drug) will help others who come to me for assistance, but you're right. It is your life and your decision to come here. And it's your decision, again, to tell me what you'd like to tell me and leave other parts of your life to yourself. I will never ask you or pressure you into telling me more than you want to."

No, he'll only create a false sense of security and relaxation for whenever she's around him and a sense of worsening darkness for when she's been away too long.

[changingtheodds]

She is starting to relax, just a little. There's something about Wyatt, something comfortable. Something safe.

Something like Flagg had.

That thought makes her bristle again. "How long have you been doing this? Talking to people like this?"

[mindbulletz]

Wyatt folds his hands together though stops trying to pull at the dark thoughts in her mind. "18 years. 21 years if you count the three years of internship I did though that was supervised group therapy. They don't let interns have free reign over patients, which is smart. I don't let my interns do that. It was good experience, but I don't believe it counts so 18 years. I was 28 when I finally got my PhD. It was a struggle but well worth the effort."

He raises an eyebrow at her after a moment of silence.

"You know normally I'm the one that asks the questions." It doesn't look as though it bothers him. He is wondering what it says about her.

[changingtheodds]

"You say there's only so much you can do if I don't trust you--how am I supposed to trust you without some sort of discourse?"

She sits up, smoothing nonexistent wrinkles from her jeans. She was a politician once, a person of power--it's something she'll have a hard time letting go of, if she ever does. And she honestly wants to know who he is, how Robin met him--anything she can get.

[mindbulletz]

Wyatt sends her a thoughtful look and then nods.

"You're right. No one has ever thought of it before which may seem strange in 18 years of therapeutic work, but it's the truth. I suppose they either didn't trust me at all (wasn't much help to them), trusted easily, or had few options remaining." Guess which category Robin fell under. "I'm more than happy to answer any questions that you pose to me if it will make you more comfortable. I have limits obviously on certain subjects partly because the APA requires me to be and partly because no person is an open book, and I wouldn't expect it of any of my clients. Everyone will have some secrets and that's perfectly healthy assuming it's not interfering with your life in a negative fashion."

[changingtheodds]

"Bearing all that in mind," she says, quietly, "I have to ask--why? Why do you do it? It must take a particular kind of personality, a field like yours."

Her hands fist in her lap. She doesn't like him. It was so easy to forget when she wasn't in this office, sitting across from him, listening to him talk. She doesn't like him, she doesn't like his drugs, and she doesn't like whatever hold he has on Robin.

Ridiculous, the logical part of her hisses. Ridiculous, emotional judgements. Ruvin scowls at her lap.

[mindbulletz]

"There are many personalities in my field. I wouldn't say there's only a certain, specific kind. Most of us have either experienced mental illness either in our own minds or through a person close to us so we're driven by the need to help those that remind us of the ones that we lost or the ones that are still suffering today. I'm no different than they are in that I have personal experiences which have... lead me to this point." Wyatt shifts, a bit uncomfortably for the first time in a very long time.

He can't remember how long it's been, because while those personal experiences drive him they are not often a subject of his thoughts, and besides the desire to experiment, the scientific need for knowledge is a much more relevant factor in his heart and mind when going about his work.

We all start out with good intentions.

Well, maybe not all of us.

"I, also, have to admit that I find the science of psychology rather interesting though most of the world would disagree with psychology being any sort of science at all."

[changingtheodds]

"It's hard to define science in a world where the paranormal keeps trying to factor in, I would imagine," she says. A pause, then, "Or in a world where people from other universes have entirely different views of what the word 'science' might mean."

All right. She's gotten something from him--that shift, that grain of truth under the smiles and sympathy. If she keeps pushing, he's going to backpedal. It's like negotiating with town heads and mayors for probability benefits; give and take. "My world is the latter, so there's little I can say."

[mindbulletz]

Wyatt nods as he listens to her speak, but he doesn't say anything in response or to mention her world.

"It is incredibly difficult, but it's important if we ever want to offer effective help to those who come looking for it. I hate telling people that so much is up in the air that there is no hope at all so we set parameters as well as we can, run tests, and offer what hope."

[changingtheodds]

Hope.

Maybe that's why Robin keeps coming here. Ruvin clenches and unclenches her hands in her lap, not wanting to wonder if maybe, maybe, she's just jealous. Not that she's trying to protect Robin, not that Wyatt is wrong somehow.

"Does it work?"

[mindbulletz]

"It depends on the individual, on their particular issues and their body's tolerances and reactions to a combination of drugs. It's not guaranteed, not to anyone, but I've seen these drugs and therapy sessions do amazing things in people's lives. We've been able to help a lot of people who thought there was no help for them," Wyatt says, quietly, generalizing the question though he's certain that he knows who and what she's referring to when she asks if it works.

Wyatt folds his hands.

"Sometimes giving them the sense that they can be helped is enough to make a significant difference in their lives, especially when they've been told their entire lives that their situation is hopeless. And together we work and work with a patient until we find something that works."

[changingtheodds]

She knows what people think of vengeance angels. Robin's said it himself.

Told their entire lives that their situation is hopeless...

And someone is trying to help them anyway. Wyatt is--

Ruvin presses her hands against her face. "I really want to believe you," she says. "I really want to believe you're just trying to make things better for him. He thinks you can make things better."

She looks at Wyatt between her fingers, doubt boiling once again into anger and resolve. "If anything happens to him because of you--"

I will unmake you. I will unmake you and everything you love.

She flinches, hisses at her own thoughts. The monster is back, the writhing, angry beast that remembers everything she can do. "I love him."

[mindbulletz]

"But you don't believe me," Wyatt supplies for her though neither of them needed her to. It was obvious by her use of the phrase want to believe that something is keeping her from believing that what he says is entirely true, which he thinks is a shame.

He does want to help Robin.

Well. It will help vengeance angels in the long run at any rate, which he's sure Robin would prefer to his own personal safety.

"My intent has never been and will never be to hurt him. I believe he's had enough of that, but Robin makes his own decisions. He is fully aware of the risks."

This may be a slight breach in doctor-patient confidentiality, but if it can get back to Robin that he let something like that slip, Robin might find it in himself to be angry at Wyatt and storm into his office. It's so interesting to see vengeance angels express that anger especially the ones who try so hard to act as though it doesn't exist. The tiniest issues can set them off.

"I know you do," Wyatt says with a certain level of compassion that had been missing up to this point. "He made a similar threat to me before your first session so I know he feels the same about you, which is good. Stable, loved ones in the life of a vengeance angel are difficult to find, but I find they make quite the difference in successful treatment in the long run."

[changingtheodds]

It makes her feel good, knowing that--even if it was a threat. She was going to threaten Wyatt too, after all. She did, in fact, if only by implication.

...Can that really make a difference? Someone like her, someone so willing to edge into violence--how can that possibly be good for Robin?

The thought hurts. Ruvin squeezes her hands against her knees.

[mindbulletz]

"Are you alright?"

Wyatt caught the look on her face and the way her hands squeeze her knees. He was a born observer, and he's become more talented at that than anything else. It's a very useful, necessary skill to have as a scientist in any field.

[changingtheodds]

Is anyone who comes to you all right?

She snaps back on the words, takes a breath, centers herself. She used to be so calm. She swears she used to be so much calmer than this.

"No," she says. It's the truth, isn't it? "I haven't been for-- since I came here. Since before I came here."

Was she ever?