Well, you know me, I never learn. So peel me off the hook.

[trivialsublime0]

Rusty Hunt leans against a tree in a park with his face pressed up against the bark. There's only partial awareness of his surroundings right now. He's supposed to be working. He hasn't sold shit this week. Rusty feels like shit. Sick as fuck. The trashcan sitting a foot away from him is filled with trash and his vomit. He may have seriously fucked

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[nothingsodivine]

Des doesn't take his eyes off the gangster, holding his gun trained on him and grimacing. "You... Gonna answer the kid's question, pal?"

"I don't gotta answer nothin'," the mobster says, setting his jaw. "Gino don't take lip from no copper."

"I ain't a fuckin' copper!" Des snaps. "Luke, go check it out." He inclines his head. "If you so much as sneeze, I put one in your head. Do you really want to place bets on which one of us is faster?"

Gino, apparently, wibbles a little bit and he keeps staring at his own gun like he's not sure how to actually shoot it and is being told to. "I-I ain't afraid of you. And it's nothin' anyway. Just... Uh... Insurance stuff!"

Des rolls his eyes. "Uh-huh. Cat-Boy, I got this. Don't worry about him. He's a pansy. Also his gun's not loaded."

The mobster balks. "IT IS TOO!"

Des snickers. "The, uh... Thingy. On your semiautomatic... The thing that indicates when you don't have bullets? Yeah, that thingy is indicating that you don't have bullets. I can see it from here."

Des may not be articulate or know much about semiautomatics, but he's right. Gino lowers his gun and goes back to murmuring over Vinny's corpse. "Wouldn't'a happened if you were alive, Vin."

Of course, the tarps are not hiding copious amounts of insurance forms. They are hiding guns. Big guns. Big shiny illegal guns. Gino would be concerned about this, but his best friend is dead and some guy has a gun on him and there's something going on in Chicago, and FUCK.. He knew he should have stayed in Jersey.

...Gino is having the WORST DAY.

[calicoway]

Luke listens to Des even when there's another guy with a gun apparently. He steps forward when Des tells him to check it out and kneels by the tarp, grabbing the end of it and pulling it up.

"Bloody hell," he squeaks and practically jumps back at the sight of it. He really should have expected it, and he did expect weapons, but not weapons that are this big.

Well, that's useful.

He looks over at the gangster... who is now apparently talking to one of the corpses. Luke winces and bites back the urge to vomit, again. He actually feels bad for him and has to resist the urge to put a hand on his shoulder. Somehow he doubts it'd go over well, and the thrashing that shakes the warehouse and practically sends Luke sprawling on the floor reminds him that this isn't the time to offer comfort to strangers.

Luke raises his eyebrows and grabs on to the biggest gun, hauling it out of the pile. "Think this'd do the trick?" Or should they get more than one?

[nothingsodivine]

Wow. What a crazy random happenstance. They are either the luckiest sons of bitches in the world or the universe has decided to cut them a break. Des... Isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Insurance?" He asks the gangster who is now standing up and brushing himself off... And wiping his nose on his sleeve like he's been crying. Des would feel bad for him if he wasn't selling weapons in a warehouse.

"That's my story and I'm stickin' to it," he mutters, which is when the shaking starts again. Des puts his own gun in his pocket and walks over to Luke to take the weapon from him and inspect it. "Looks good to me. C'mon. It's monster-killin' time."

He saunters towards the door, ignoring Gino's complaints of, "Hey! You can't take that! Where are you goin'? Are you two gonna sell me out? Fuck! Ma always said this would happen."

Des does not react to him in the slightest. Just climbs out of the hole in the wall and heads towards the ferris wheel, glancing over at Luke over his shoulder. "You know, I almost feel bad for that guy..."

Hey, focus on the faily mobster and you don't have to focus on certain monster-related death!

[calicoway]

"You've still got all these others here to sell!" Luke says to the gangster as Des starts to exit. He feels bad for him. It's a shitty situation to be in, and if he remembers, he might check on him after all is said and done. "'sides if we don't use this to kill the dragon-thing, it'll kill more people. Honest. Wouldn't sell you out, mate."

He exits the hole after Des and nods.

"Yeah. I- Sorta do."

And then the ground shakes, again, and Luke tumbles forward, grabbing on to Des to keep from falling on to the ground. The monster is ramming against the pier.

"Down there. By the ferris wheel," he says and points, willing his legs not to runlikefuck, again. "Don't think this is another time where I've got to try to distract it while you drop the bullet shaped anvil through its head, is it?"

Luke pauses and stares down at it, all wide eyed and trying to process what it is again.

"Cause I really don't think the kitten me will be much of a distraction to-" Course he does turn into a horse, too. He hates it and never does it, but... he does and he can run bloody fast in it, too.

[nothingsodivine]

Des holds onto Luke partly to help him to keep his balance and partly to keep his own. He squeezes the younger boy's shoulder in something that's meant to be a reassuring gesture and shoulders the gun with a scowl in the general direction of the sea monster... Thing. Whatever the fuck it is.

He does, however, take a moment to laugh and look up at the sky, his expression vaguely nostalgic. "Those were the days..."

...Right. Monster attacking the pier. No time for nostalgic moments. He gestures to the ferris wheel. "The highest point in the whole place is right there- if I can get up there, then I bet I can shoot it, but... Yeah, a distraction would- what?" He tilts his head to the side, looking at Luke incredulously. "Luuuke, what else do you turn into?"

This should be good.

[calicoway]

Des climbing to the highest point. Luke running around in an animal form as a distraction. They should seriously consider thinking up another plan for taking out a monster if they get out of this alive.

Luke blushes at the question, which isn't something he ever really does. He doesn't like his other form, and no one that knows he's a whore, knows he can turn into a horse, because he spends most of his time thinking of all the jokes that go with it.

Rawr! Gnash! From the end of the pier. Right. No time for embarrassment.

"... a horse. Yeah, I know, everybody's had a ride. All that." He scratches the back of his neck, tense, and watching the end of the pier occasionally. "I'm not all that good at controlling it still so if I get too terrified and go from horse back to human and piss myself, I wouldn't be surprised. But if it's quick enough, I think I can manage."

[nothingsodivine]

Why mess with a classic if it works? Or so goes Des's theory.

Des holds up his hands. "I was not going to say anything." He looks over at the monster rampaging the pier and grimaces. "All right. Let's try that." A pause. "Oh... And is it going to be really awkward if you shift and I ride you over to the ferris wheel... We'll get there quicker that way."

There is no way in which that sentence was not awkward. Des just runs his free hand through his hair awkwardly and reminds himself that the situation is too dire to think about things like that right now.

[calicoway]

Luke looks at Des. He's trying to decide how awkward it would be, but he finally shakes his head. It won't be that awkward.

"Nah, it'll be fine. People have ridden on me before. It's never that awkward. During or after."

He quirks a grin. Apparently, he is still capable of making a silly, sexual remark even though he doesn't think of Des in that way and it's not exactly time for remarks. It helps this entire exchange to be... a little less awkward, anyway.

"I'll go shift then," Luke says, pointing toward the hole in the warehouse wall and heading back that way. "You... be careful, yeah? I'd rather not try to explain this to Martha later." Just forming the sentence to explain why Des fell from the top of a ferris wheel with a giant gun to his doom seems like an impossible task. Plus, he'd... miss him.

[nothingsodivine]

Des gives him a mock salute and adjusts the gun so that it's on his back, dangling from the strap. "Just don't tell my guardian angel!" He calls after him. He makes a face and a weird noise kind of a like nervous wheeze. Grace is going to murder him for this.. Especially since he's pretty sure the ferris wheel isn't even operational right now... He really doesn't want to have to shimmy up that thing. Maybe he can break the lock...

Yeah, he'll burn that bridge when he gets to it. This is the kind of adventure he lives for, after all. Improvisation is a friend!

...Improvisation was a lot more fun when he was immortal.

[calicoway]

Luke enters the warehouse, again, and waves awkwardly at the gangster.

"Not here to steal anythin, yeah? Just... going to get naked. You don't have to watch if you don't want to," he says before he can think about the words coming out of his mouth.

He slips his clothes off, transforms behind a fallen wall, and realizes that his horse form is too big to fit back through the wall. Bloody hell. Horse!Luke whinnies and kicks down a wide door with his hooves, galloping out of the warehouse and throwing back his head so his mane flops against his neck.

Being a horse is really magnificent. The narration questions why Luke dislikes it so! He stops in front of Des and stands as perfectly still as he can with the pier being rocked. Four hooves provide better footing than two feet.

[nothingsodivine]

Gino was only half paying attention and he just sort of jerks his head around when Luke starts talking, gaping a bit, and then he promptly turns around and mutters something about indecency and how he really, really shouldn't have left Jersey.

And when he hears a fucking horse, he turns around and gapes in astonishment... yeah, Gino really shouldn't have left Jersey. Fucking hell. What is wrong with this city?

Des is just as astonished when Luke gallops out. He blinks a few times and then laughs. "Damn, Cat-Boy. I'm gonna have to give you a new name. He shakes his head and climbs up on Luke's back with the... Not-quite-ease of someone who hasn't ridden a horse for some time, but at least he's pretty sure Luke won't buck him off. Thankfully, he manages to get on without causing grievous harm to himself, Luke, or causing the gun to go off. So that's something anyway.

"Hi-ho, Silver, away!" Des shouts, because deep down he always wanted to say that. He is a dork.

[calicoway]

Des getting on Luke's back is perhaps the first great accomplishment of the day, except the finding the gun, but that seems like it was more luck than anything else. Luke takes the weight of Des and gun easily enough for not spending much time in horse form.

The horse shakes his head and starts to gallop down the pier, hopping over debris along the way and trusting Des to hold on. He stops occasionally to dodge flying debris from the destruction the dragon is creating. It's really rather dramatic. There's a desperate fight within him, because the horse does not want to be near the thrashing and flailing of the dragon-creature. The horse wants to run. Needs to run. It's an obvious predator, but Luke continues on to the end of the pier straight toward danger.

He's so preoccupied with the dragon-serpent-creature that he nearly misses the ferris wheel. It's harder to focus in this form, all of his thoughts are racing, and he has less focus on what he is. Luke realizes he's passed the ferris wheel and stops so abruptly at the that he nearly rears back too high. He turns himself around and gallops back with another abrupt stop.

Luke waits for Des to dismount, again, tapping one hoof against the cement nervously and making unhappy horse sounds all the while.

[nothingsodivine]

This is much cooler than the bog unicorn. No offense to Ferdinand, but... This is the proper stallion for a heroic mission. Thankfully, he's old enough to have ridden bareback several times in his life and he grips tightly, managing to keep his balance astoundingly well, although when Luke rears back too high, he very nearly loses his balance, but, thankfully, that doesn't end with a disagreeable splat.

He dismounts as soon as they're in font of the ferris wheel and pats Luke on the neck (because slapping him on the flank would just make this more awkward) to urge him on to distract the creature and immediately sets to work on the controls. They're padlocked so Des hits it a few times with the butt of his gun and makes a great effort to hotwire the controls- the good thing about being this old is that you learn a few things or more than a few.

It's hard to concentrate with all the shaking and he's really concerned that the ferris wheel is going to topple over, but at least all the freaking out and screaming means that no one's going to question him turning the ferris wheel on.

It finally starts up and Des shoulders the gun again, realizes that there's no way to stop the damn thing while it's going, and grabs onto one of the doors, trying to get it open and slide inside... Unfortunately, the door he grabs has already started to rise up off the ground, so he's left dangling for a moment until he can get himself into the little gazeebo, panting and heaving and hoping that somewhere Grace didn't feel that sudden surge of panic.

...Except where she probably didn't.

Des pulls the gun off of his back and readies it to get ready to shoot the beat when Luke brings it into range... Only to realize that the damn ferris wheel is still moving and he can't stop it.

This will be interesting.

[calicoway]

Luke is distracted. Luke is distracted trying to avoid more hyper beams as they come BOOPING from the giant blue MONSTAR. He pulls the beast away from the ferris wheel, because beam going BOOM on the wheel seems like a bad, bad, bad idea, very bad... Neigh and such.

The dragon-creature-monster (gyarados damnit) apparently likes the horse, or at least, likes trying to bite it. It keeps diving in toward the pier and missing the horse by just an itch.

Shit shit shit ow ow ow could have hurt. Baaad. Luke gallops toward the ferris wheel when he thinks its time? Okay, he can't pay attention to time in this form and gallops at the ferris wheel not even thinking, Hmm, I really hope Des is at the top now, cause here we come. No, he's pretty much thinking runrunrunrun bloody hell hell hell. Wait WHERE? Safety in the spinning circle! SAFETY IN THE SPINNING CIRCLE! Which isn't even entirely true, but apparently, Luke!horse misses certain details and clings to the bare minimum.

If he doesn't stop being a terrified horse soon, there's about to be a in stride transformation that ends in a naked, wet Luke on the floor, not a position he's unfamiliar with.

[nothingsodivine]

Des has already been around a couple of times, because ferris wheels aren't exactly slow, but he's figured out a hypothetical trajectory and he's hoping that it works because he really fucking fails at math.

And there's Luke, and there's his target. The ferris wheel reaches the top and starts to come back down and Des takes aim and squeezes the trigger just as the ferris wheel starts lowering, which... If he hasn't totally screwed something up, should hit it right below its head.... Whether it kills it or not is another story. He's pretty sure the gun's not strong enough to blow its head off, but maybe he'll get lucky.

Just as long as he doesn't miss the damn thing.

[calicoway]

The blast from the gun does not blow the gyarados' head off. It does, however, take a sizable chunk out of its neck. There is no surviving that wound for long. Only long enough for some serious blind, rage filled flailing and attacking in the general area of what has hurt it.

Chunks of dragon-creature meat fall on to the pier, while other chunks plop into the water where rift-shark or fish are chomping down on it. Num. The monster roars blood pouring down its side and splattering on the pier beneath it. It's disoriented now and in pain and rage and dying.

It's determined to take the wheel of BOOM down with it, because RAWR. PAIN.

Luke is hit in the hiney (the bum) with a splat of heavy, shiny blood as the monster whirls around. He whinnies and gallops full speed, jumping over the railing that surrounds the Ferris wheel. ....one hell of a JUMP. Ah HA. But then there is... nowhere to go unless he wants to be hit across the horsehead by the spinning gazebos. The horses twists back and freezes. THE SPINNING CIRCLE HAS NO SAFETY AT ALL. NO SAFETY AT ALL. Because here comes blue MONSTAR raging and looking like it wants to KILL even on its death bed...sky...lake.

The horse starts galloping in endless circles at the foot of the ferris wheel, whinnying and rearing back as every attempt at escape is met with a block. No no no no no NO. Lemme go go go. Free. AH. fuck why?

The monster creature can't keep its head on straight, but rears up for one final hyper beam attack as it begins to fall deeper into the water, unable to focus on more than one task in its final moments. A news copter hovers nearby, but not too near, because WHAT THE FUCK.