Well, you know me, I never learn. So peel me off the hook.

[trivialsublime0]

Rusty Hunt leans against a tree in a park with his face pressed up against the bark. There's only partial awareness of his surroundings right now. He's supposed to be working. He hasn't sold shit this week. Rusty feels like shit. Sick as fuck. The trashcan sitting a foot away from him is filled with trash and his vomit. He may have seriously fucked

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[nothingsodivine]

Des goes down with a heavy thud, the ground knocking the wind out of him, but as he doesn't get hyper beamed to death, he can deal with a bruised solar plexus. He groans and looks over at what the monster is doing and... Oh, fuck. They can't just let this slide, but what the fuck are they going to do about a freaking water dragon terrorizing the pier?

"Cat-Boy, we got ourselves a situation," he groans, getting to his feet and heading towards the warehouse- they have to keep things there, right? Maybe there's a harpoon or a rocket launcher somewhere in there.

...Actually what is in there is about four bodies- some crushed rather unpleasantly by the falling debris and some unpleasant looking corpses that look like they got the business end of the hyper beam. Des chokes and grimaces, but climbs inside through the hole in the wall anyway, expecting Luke will either follow or hang back.

There is one survivor and he's desperately trying to pull debris off some guy who looks like he's already dead three times over. He's a pudgy, little guy with curly black hair who kinda looks like Joe Pesci had a love child with Fran Descher and it entered the mob. Charming.

"Come on, Vinny. Wake up, man. We got the stuff all to ourselves. We got-" The mobster realizes that someone else is in his warehouse and whirls, pulling his gun, Des, expecting this from someone who looks like the mob type, pulls his revolver.

"Easy there, buddy. We don't want any trouble."

The mobster doesn't lower his gun. "You cops? 'Cause I don't know nothin'. Vinny and I... We're insurance salesmen. Yeah, that's right."

"Do we look like cops?" Des quirks an eyebrow. "You're sellin' insurance in a warehouse?"

"Hey, I don't question, how you make a livin', buddy!" The man yelps. "Poor Vinny. We were just out doin' business and then what? Crushed by a... What was that? A bomb?"

"Something like that..." Des responds, dryly, wondering if this conversation is going to get anywhere.

Hidden only partially in the middle of the debris and dead bodies is something covered in a tarp that Des has yet to notice, because he's a little bit occupied not getting shot by Itchy Fingers Vitolli here.

[calicoway]

Luke climbs to his feet and almost laughs, because he's not sure how else to respond beyond giving into the flight instinct, again, and never stopping. "Yeah. 's a- a situation. Exactly what I was going to... say."

He turns back to keep an eye on the monster. No, it's not paying attention to them anymore, which is good, because the warehouse doesn't look like it can take too many more blasts like that. Luke climbs into the hole in the wall behind Des, but once inside he wishes he had hung back instead. The guy that whirls the gun on them makes him jump and tense, mostly because Des is in front of him and in the line of fire here and there's nothing he can do. Luke doesn't carry a gun and has never even held one.

Then he gets distracted by the corpses, especially the one that must have been hit by that beam. Vomit keeps rising up in his throat, threatening to bring him to his knees, but he can't look away from it. That could have been them, either of them. Luke starts to tremble barely aware of their conversation.

The screaming from outside and the sound from thrashing brings him back into the moment and the realization that he cannot afford to puke. He can't freak out. Luke looks back over the warehouse, again. "What's that? On the ground there," he says in a hushed, tense voice that's aimed at Des, because he's somehow managed to completely forget about the other guy with the gun.

[nothingsodivine]

Des doesn't take his eyes off the gangster, holding his gun trained on him and grimacing. "You... Gonna answer the kid's question, pal?"

"I don't gotta answer nothin'," the mobster says, setting his jaw. "Gino don't take lip from no copper."

"I ain't a fuckin' copper!" Des snaps. "Luke, go check it out." He inclines his head. "If you so much as sneeze, I put one in your head. Do you really want to place bets on which one of us is faster?"

Gino, apparently, wibbles a little bit and he keeps staring at his own gun like he's not sure how to actually shoot it and is being told to. "I-I ain't afraid of you. And it's nothin' anyway. Just... Uh... Insurance stuff!"

Des rolls his eyes. "Uh-huh. Cat-Boy, I got this. Don't worry about him. He's a pansy. Also his gun's not loaded."

The mobster balks. "IT IS TOO!"

Des snickers. "The, uh... Thingy. On your semiautomatic... The thing that indicates when you don't have bullets? Yeah, that thingy is indicating that you don't have bullets. I can see it from here."

Des may not be articulate or know much about semiautomatics, but he's right. Gino lowers his gun and goes back to murmuring over Vinny's corpse. "Wouldn't'a happened if you were alive, Vin."

Of course, the tarps are not hiding copious amounts of insurance forms. They are hiding guns. Big guns. Big shiny illegal guns. Gino would be concerned about this, but his best friend is dead and some guy has a gun on him and there's something going on in Chicago, and FUCK.. He knew he should have stayed in Jersey.

...Gino is having the WORST DAY.

[calicoway]

Luke listens to Des even when there's another guy with a gun apparently. He steps forward when Des tells him to check it out and kneels by the tarp, grabbing the end of it and pulling it up.

"Bloody hell," he squeaks and practically jumps back at the sight of it. He really should have expected it, and he did expect weapons, but not weapons that are this big.

Well, that's useful.

He looks over at the gangster... who is now apparently talking to one of the corpses. Luke winces and bites back the urge to vomit, again. He actually feels bad for him and has to resist the urge to put a hand on his shoulder. Somehow he doubts it'd go over well, and the thrashing that shakes the warehouse and practically sends Luke sprawling on the floor reminds him that this isn't the time to offer comfort to strangers.

Luke raises his eyebrows and grabs on to the biggest gun, hauling it out of the pile. "Think this'd do the trick?" Or should they get more than one?

[nothingsodivine]

Wow. What a crazy random happenstance. They are either the luckiest sons of bitches in the world or the universe has decided to cut them a break. Des... Isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Insurance?" He asks the gangster who is now standing up and brushing himself off... And wiping his nose on his sleeve like he's been crying. Des would feel bad for him if he wasn't selling weapons in a warehouse.

"That's my story and I'm stickin' to it," he mutters, which is when the shaking starts again. Des puts his own gun in his pocket and walks over to Luke to take the weapon from him and inspect it. "Looks good to me. C'mon. It's monster-killin' time."

He saunters towards the door, ignoring Gino's complaints of, "Hey! You can't take that! Where are you goin'? Are you two gonna sell me out? Fuck! Ma always said this would happen."

Des does not react to him in the slightest. Just climbs out of the hole in the wall and heads towards the ferris wheel, glancing over at Luke over his shoulder. "You know, I almost feel bad for that guy..."

Hey, focus on the faily mobster and you don't have to focus on certain monster-related death!

[calicoway]

"You've still got all these others here to sell!" Luke says to the gangster as Des starts to exit. He feels bad for him. It's a shitty situation to be in, and if he remembers, he might check on him after all is said and done. "'sides if we don't use this to kill the dragon-thing, it'll kill more people. Honest. Wouldn't sell you out, mate."

He exits the hole after Des and nods.

"Yeah. I- Sorta do."

And then the ground shakes, again, and Luke tumbles forward, grabbing on to Des to keep from falling on to the ground. The monster is ramming against the pier.

"Down there. By the ferris wheel," he says and points, willing his legs not to runlikefuck, again. "Don't think this is another time where I've got to try to distract it while you drop the bullet shaped anvil through its head, is it?"

Luke pauses and stares down at it, all wide eyed and trying to process what it is again.

"Cause I really don't think the kitten me will be much of a distraction to-" Course he does turn into a horse, too. He hates it and never does it, but... he does and he can run bloody fast in it, too.

[nothingsodivine]

Des holds onto Luke partly to help him to keep his balance and partly to keep his own. He squeezes the younger boy's shoulder in something that's meant to be a reassuring gesture and shoulders the gun with a scowl in the general direction of the sea monster... Thing. Whatever the fuck it is.

He does, however, take a moment to laugh and look up at the sky, his expression vaguely nostalgic. "Those were the days..."

...Right. Monster attacking the pier. No time for nostalgic moments. He gestures to the ferris wheel. "The highest point in the whole place is right there- if I can get up there, then I bet I can shoot it, but... Yeah, a distraction would- what?" He tilts his head to the side, looking at Luke incredulously. "Luuuke, what else do you turn into?"

This should be good.

[calicoway]

Des climbing to the highest point. Luke running around in an animal form as a distraction. They should seriously consider thinking up another plan for taking out a monster if they get out of this alive.

Luke blushes at the question, which isn't something he ever really does. He doesn't like his other form, and no one that knows he's a whore, knows he can turn into a horse, because he spends most of his time thinking of all the jokes that go with it.

Rawr! Gnash! From the end of the pier. Right. No time for embarrassment.

"... a horse. Yeah, I know, everybody's had a ride. All that." He scratches the back of his neck, tense, and watching the end of the pier occasionally. "I'm not all that good at controlling it still so if I get too terrified and go from horse back to human and piss myself, I wouldn't be surprised. But if it's quick enough, I think I can manage."

[nothingsodivine]

Why mess with a classic if it works? Or so goes Des's theory.

Des holds up his hands. "I was not going to say anything." He looks over at the monster rampaging the pier and grimaces. "All right. Let's try that." A pause. "Oh... And is it going to be really awkward if you shift and I ride you over to the ferris wheel... We'll get there quicker that way."

There is no way in which that sentence was not awkward. Des just runs his free hand through his hair awkwardly and reminds himself that the situation is too dire to think about things like that right now.

[calicoway]

Luke looks at Des. He's trying to decide how awkward it would be, but he finally shakes his head. It won't be that awkward.

"Nah, it'll be fine. People have ridden on me before. It's never that awkward. During or after."

He quirks a grin. Apparently, he is still capable of making a silly, sexual remark even though he doesn't think of Des in that way and it's not exactly time for remarks. It helps this entire exchange to be... a little less awkward, anyway.

"I'll go shift then," Luke says, pointing toward the hole in the warehouse wall and heading back that way. "You... be careful, yeah? I'd rather not try to explain this to Martha later." Just forming the sentence to explain why Des fell from the top of a ferris wheel with a giant gun to his doom seems like an impossible task. Plus, he'd... miss him.

[nothingsodivine]

Des gives him a mock salute and adjusts the gun so that it's on his back, dangling from the strap. "Just don't tell my guardian angel!" He calls after him. He makes a face and a weird noise kind of a like nervous wheeze. Grace is going to murder him for this.. Especially since he's pretty sure the ferris wheel isn't even operational right now... He really doesn't want to have to shimmy up that thing. Maybe he can break the lock...

Yeah, he'll burn that bridge when he gets to it. This is the kind of adventure he lives for, after all. Improvisation is a friend!

...Improvisation was a lot more fun when he was immortal.

[calicoway]

Luke enters the warehouse, again, and waves awkwardly at the gangster.

"Not here to steal anythin, yeah? Just... going to get naked. You don't have to watch if you don't want to," he says before he can think about the words coming out of his mouth.

He slips his clothes off, transforms behind a fallen wall, and realizes that his horse form is too big to fit back through the wall. Bloody hell. Horse!Luke whinnies and kicks down a wide door with his hooves, galloping out of the warehouse and throwing back his head so his mane flops against his neck.

Being a horse is really magnificent. The narration questions why Luke dislikes it so! He stops in front of Des and stands as perfectly still as he can with the pier being rocked. Four hooves provide better footing than two feet.

[nothingsodivine]

Gino was only half paying attention and he just sort of jerks his head around when Luke starts talking, gaping a bit, and then he promptly turns around and mutters something about indecency and how he really, really shouldn't have left Jersey.

And when he hears a fucking horse, he turns around and gapes in astonishment... yeah, Gino really shouldn't have left Jersey. Fucking hell. What is wrong with this city?

Des is just as astonished when Luke gallops out. He blinks a few times and then laughs. "Damn, Cat-Boy. I'm gonna have to give you a new name. He shakes his head and climbs up on Luke's back with the... Not-quite-ease of someone who hasn't ridden a horse for some time, but at least he's pretty sure Luke won't buck him off. Thankfully, he manages to get on without causing grievous harm to himself, Luke, or causing the gun to go off. So that's something anyway.

"Hi-ho, Silver, away!" Des shouts, because deep down he always wanted to say that. He is a dork.

[calicoway]

Des getting on Luke's back is perhaps the first great accomplishment of the day, except the finding the gun, but that seems like it was more luck than anything else. Luke takes the weight of Des and gun easily enough for not spending much time in horse form.

The horse shakes his head and starts to gallop down the pier, hopping over debris along the way and trusting Des to hold on. He stops occasionally to dodge flying debris from the destruction the dragon is creating. It's really rather dramatic. There's a desperate fight within him, because the horse does not want to be near the thrashing and flailing of the dragon-creature. The horse wants to run. Needs to run. It's an obvious predator, but Luke continues on to the end of the pier straight toward danger.

He's so preoccupied with the dragon-serpent-creature that he nearly misses the ferris wheel. It's harder to focus in this form, all of his thoughts are racing, and he has less focus on what he is. Luke realizes he's passed the ferris wheel and stops so abruptly at the that he nearly rears back too high. He turns himself around and gallops back with another abrupt stop.

Luke waits for Des to dismount, again, tapping one hoof against the cement nervously and making unhappy horse sounds all the while.

[nothingsodivine]

This is much cooler than the bog unicorn. No offense to Ferdinand, but... This is the proper stallion for a heroic mission. Thankfully, he's old enough to have ridden bareback several times in his life and he grips tightly, managing to keep his balance astoundingly well, although when Luke rears back too high, he very nearly loses his balance, but, thankfully, that doesn't end with a disagreeable splat.

He dismounts as soon as they're in font of the ferris wheel and pats Luke on the neck (because slapping him on the flank would just make this more awkward) to urge him on to distract the creature and immediately sets to work on the controls. They're padlocked so Des hits it a few times with the butt of his gun and makes a great effort to hotwire the controls- the good thing about being this old is that you learn a few things or more than a few.

It's hard to concentrate with all the shaking and he's really concerned that the ferris wheel is going to topple over, but at least all the freaking out and screaming means that no one's going to question him turning the ferris wheel on.

It finally starts up and Des shoulders the gun again, realizes that there's no way to stop the damn thing while it's going, and grabs onto one of the doors, trying to get it open and slide inside... Unfortunately, the door he grabs has already started to rise up off the ground, so he's left dangling for a moment until he can get himself into the little gazeebo, panting and heaving and hoping that somewhere Grace didn't feel that sudden surge of panic.

...Except where she probably didn't.

Des pulls the gun off of his back and readies it to get ready to shoot the beat when Luke brings it into range... Only to realize that the damn ferris wheel is still moving and he can't stop it.

This will be interesting.

[calicoway]

Luke is distracted. Luke is distracted trying to avoid more hyper beams as they come BOOPING from the giant blue MONSTAR. He pulls the beast away from the ferris wheel, because beam going BOOM on the wheel seems like a bad, bad, bad idea, very bad... Neigh and such.

The dragon-creature-monster (gyarados damnit) apparently likes the horse, or at least, likes trying to bite it. It keeps diving in toward the pier and missing the horse by just an itch.

Shit shit shit ow ow ow could have hurt. Baaad. Luke gallops toward the ferris wheel when he thinks its time? Okay, he can't pay attention to time in this form and gallops at the ferris wheel not even thinking, Hmm, I really hope Des is at the top now, cause here we come. No, he's pretty much thinking runrunrunrun bloody hell hell hell. Wait WHERE? Safety in the spinning circle! SAFETY IN THE SPINNING CIRCLE! Which isn't even entirely true, but apparently, Luke!horse misses certain details and clings to the bare minimum.

If he doesn't stop being a terrified horse soon, there's about to be a in stride transformation that ends in a naked, wet Luke on the floor, not a position he's unfamiliar with.