River deep, could I know you as well as you know me [Locked]

[prince_stupid]

In the air over the Chicago river, a rift opens and a cat drops through and into the water below. There's no yowl, no flailing limbs, just a very startled--and somewhat affronted--expression before the abnormally large feline hits the river and disappears momentarily from sight. When he bobs back to the surface, he starts paddling rather aimlessly

Comments

[sarkraticmethod]

Sark is avoiding Grant Park like Grant Park has a plague, because somehow he'd like to avoid horrible spiny creatures... And teenage girls. And pretty much everything. Dmitri is a liar- thus far, he has felt nothing akin to kittens nesting in his solar plexus and that is the stupidest metaphor ever, and

[prince_stupid]

Ragnar sits, staring up at him for a moment, before addressing his fur with a few brisk swipes of his tongue.

He blinks. "Well. I had known of my breed's admirable insulation, but truly, such resistance to soaking surprises even myself!"

Oh, yes, there's the human to tend to. He peers up at Sark, whisks his tail around his neatly arranged paws, and bows his head. "You have my sincere thanks, human. I assure you, such unexpected intimacy with the water was not my immediate plan. If I may ask, when did you effect the installation of this waterway?"

[sarkraticmethod]

....Why do the cats always talk?

Sark takes a moment to just stare at the cat, wondering if maybe he's just completely lost his mind now. It could happen. He's felt like he was on the verge of it for awhile now.

He shakes that off when the cat addresses him. "I can assure you that the existence of the entire Chicago River can't be blamed on me. More than likely, the problem is that you've fallen through the Rift."

That is the only acceptable explanation for talking cats who seem to be impervious to water... Other than he's losing his mind, and he would rather not lose his mind right now.

[prince_stupid]

He takes a moment to contemplate the fact that Sark actually answered him like an intelligent animal before he answers. "And how does falling through the 'Rift' create a river? I have experienced many strange things, but I will say this, I have never encountered such a phenomenon. It is one about which even Tag does not know, I should think."

This, too, requires a moment of thought. Ha! Something Tag doesn't know! He will have to tell the kittens about it.

[girlorgun]

And here comes Sark's shadow (not the Suzie-sight kind), bundled up and smiling widely. "Oh, look at you!" She trots right over to Ragnar, crouches down, and scratches under his chin. "You are quite handsome, sir," she declares.

[sarkraticmethod]

"April," Sark says in something that is kind of a greeting if you squint really hard. Mostly he's just staring at the cat and considering why anyone would give speech to a creature so inherently dumb.

"I seem to have rescued a cat," he adds, rolling his eyes, because rescuing cats? Is this what he's come to? He is punching Vaughn in the face SO HARD next time he sees him for no reason other than he's starting to become him and this is a terrifying thought. "As it turns out, apparently the Rift saw fit to drop him in the river."

Because the Rift enjoys doing these things to him. Yes, the Rift is intentionally aggravating you, Sark.

"The Rift didn't create the river," he explains with a hint of exasperation, addressing the cat again, without stopping to explain to April why he is talking to a cat. "The river was always here... You're the new arrival, unfortunately. Wherever you were before is not where you are now."

[prince_stupid]

Ragnar leans politely on the girl's fingers as she scratches him, wondering absently what the month has to do with anything, and wondering too if this man is very well in touch with his calendar.

"A Road? I have never traveled one involuntarily before... how very odd. If I may inquire, where is 'here'?"

He tilts his head a bit to guide April's fingers to an itchy spot, rumbling a purr like a small jet engine starting as he does so. "And again, I must give you my thanks. There is no telling the situation in which I might have found myself, without the intervention of your kindness. Norwegian Forest Cat I may be, but I confess, I am no great swimmer."

[girlorgun]

"New world," April explains. "This is Chicago. Did you have Chicago where you're from? I didn't. But I've been here for a year already." She pointedly ignores Julian and his exasperation. There is a kitty, Julian. This is a wonderful thing.

The purr gets a giggle, and more scritches. "I met another cat who talked. She was very nice. And kind of like me."

[prince_stupid]

"Indeed? I've never had humans answer with such clarity before. You will find, I think, that most cats are quite adequate conversationalists. Though I must say that there are exceptions."

He muses for a moment, still leaning against her fingers. "There is no Chicago in England of which I am aware. Do you mean to say I am in America?" He makes a slight hrm-ing sound. "This is an inconvenience to be sure."

[sarkraticmethod]

Sark is mostly just standing there, bein' ignored with his hands in his pockets, deeply contemplating the meaning of life... except not really. He's actually just wondering if the universe is making fun of him now, but April seems to appreciate UNEXPECTED TALKING CAT and he likes making April happy, so... There you go.

"That is a severe understatement," Sark mutters. He looks over at April, biting his lip for a moment, before saying, "Well, we certainly can't just leave him out here..."

This is Sark saying, without anyone actually asking (and not really caring what the cat might think of this), that they can keep the kitty, April.

[girlorgun]

"You can come back with us," April tells Ragnar matter-of-factly, glancing up at Julian and grinning widely. Clearly, this pleases her. Good job, Sark! "We have room for a lovely cat such as yourself. I'm April," she adds. "This is Julian. He's sometimes a little cranky, but he is very lovely if you take the time to get to know him."

[prince_stupid]

"Ah... thank you," Ragnar says. He's a bit startled, to be sure. "But you'll understand, I hope, if I must decline. I must, indeed, the great kindness that has been shown me notwithstanding."

He inclines his head to Sark again. "I must return home immediately, you see. I have duties to which I must attend."

Ragnar blinks. He has realized something. "But I have not even had the courtesy to introduce myself to my savior and his companion. You must forgive me. The day has been unusual, to be sure."

[sarkraticmethod]

"You can't," Sark rolls his eyes. "The Rift only works one way, and even if you did try to return to your own home, it wouldn't be the same on this side of it. There won't be anything waiting for you there."

In his defense, he actually did manage to sound a bit gentler on that last bit. Possibly letting his own regret and despair tinge his words.

"April and I have been here a year already. Thus far there is no going back." He crosses his arms over his chest and arches an eyebrow in an expression that says, Well, introduce yourself already then.

[prince_stupid]

Ragnar gazes at Sark for... possibly longer than the man will be comfortable with, before speaking again. It's possible he hears more of that despair than was intended--you can never tell with Ragnar. "You say there is no way, and I accept that you believe this. But I am a father, I am the King of Cats, and I will return to my duties, be it a year from now or several. The impossible, in my experience, does not truly exist."

He considers this, nods, and stands. "But as to my name--I am Ragnar Gustaffson Coeur de Lion, of the breed Norsk Skogatt, or Norwegian Forest Cat, as you may call it. I was once Grand Champion of the bench. Long ago. Yes, lifetimes ago, it feels."

He pauses again, contemplates again, and then shakes himself out of it and flicks his tail. "And as it seems my options are limited at this time, I accept gratefully the invitation to join you. You are not, I hope, unique in your ability to converse like sensible beings."

[sarkraticmethod]

Sark stares back, because no one outstares Julian Sark! It's unheard of! He's the stare-master. Unfortunately, trying to win a staring contest with a cat is a futile effort and he's forced to look away in annoyance, waiting for Ragnar to speak. And when he does, he turns back and shrugs. Well, fine. Optimism never hurt anyone even if Sark never really had much of a reason for it.

And wow. Cat has a lofty title. Sark suspects he should be impressed by that- he's not really, but... Well, it's Sark.

He shrugs again. "Cy never has a problem communicating with humans, aside from the fact that it's very rare that anyone knows what she's saying, but they are, for all intents and purposes, actual words, so... I'm assuming yes."

[girlorgun]

April, for all that she's tiny, scoops Ragnar up in her arms and presses her face into his fur. She likes this one, he's simple, but he has a good heart. A courageous and kind heart.

"I think she'll like seeing you," she says. And by 'she', we obviously mean Cy.