Your Ten o'Clock News
There's a late-night news report going on, should anyone have their television on the right station.
"...and the reports of a giant rabbit in the streets are still unconfirmed. If anyone encounters a giant rabbit, they are encouraged to keep their distance and call Animal Control. We're going to put that number up on the screen now.
"Downtown Chicago was hit with a truck bomb at around 5:15 this evening, causing widespread panic in the surrounding neighborhood. Reports of hallucinations and unprovoked paranoia are coming in. Police suspect a mild form of chemical terrorism, though the questions of who and why are still unanswered. Doctors have reported no lingering physical or psychological effects of the chemical, and the area has been declared clean as of 9:47 tonight.
"In even more shocking news, a trail of bodies has been found leading from the area of the bombing. People on the streets have been violently and openly killed - witnesses say the killer is young and blonde, and no other description has been supplied. Police say that they have found no connection between the explosion and the killer, and are making every effort to ensure that there is no more loss of life. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of those killed today. We will continue to bring you the latest news on this story. In the meantime, Chicago residents are urged to stay indoors and not interact with strangers. If you have any information regarding this brutal killing spree, please call the hotline shown at the bottom of the screen.
"Now to Sue Farris, with the weather. Sue?"
"...and the reports of a giant rabbit in the streets are still unconfirmed. If anyone encounters a giant rabbit, they are encouraged to keep their distance and call Animal Control. We're going to put that number up on the screen now.
"Downtown Chicago was hit with a truck bomb at around 5:15 this evening, causing widespread panic in the surrounding neighborhood. Reports of hallucinations and unprovoked paranoia are coming in. Police suspect a mild form of chemical terrorism, though the questions of who and why are still unanswered. Doctors have reported no lingering physical or psychological effects of the chemical, and the area has been declared clean as of 9:47 tonight.
"In even more shocking news, a trail of bodies has been found leading from the area of the bombing. People on the streets have been violently and openly killed - witnesses say the killer is young and blonde, and no other description has been supplied. Police say that they have found no connection between the explosion and the killer, and are making every effort to ensure that there is no more loss of life. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of those killed today. We will continue to bring you the latest news on this story. In the meantime, Chicago residents are urged to stay indoors and not interact with strangers. If you have any information regarding this brutal killing spree, please call the hotline shown at the bottom of the screen.
"Now to Sue Farris, with the weather. Sue?"