[It is somewhat of a comfort; Allen lets out a soft, slightly relieved sound, and tilts his head towards one of Lavi's hand. Though that might just be because there isn't any attention being paid to his torn apart abdomen anymore. He tries to lift a hand to Lavi's face, but it seems like he doesn't have the energy for it; his arm will only go up about halfway.]
...I don't want to. Do... don't think I have a choice, though... [He manages a small smile.] Sorry, Lavi... I really wanted to stay here with you.
[Lavi takes that hand before it can fall back to the couch and helps lift it to his own cheek. Though his heart aches and his vision goes blurry from unshed tears, he's unable to cry. As if his body isn't quite sure why or how he's supposed to]
[Manages a shaky smile back]
I'll be waiting here when... [Because it's when, not if, damn it. This wasn't the last time he was going to see Allen] you come back.
[Allen brushes his thumb over Lavi's cheekbone, his own smile widening slightly. It was getting harder to hear things the way he usually did, and despite trying his damnedest, he couldn't hear Lavi's heartbeat. It put him to sleep almost every day - it would have been nice if he could go to sleep to it now. But he could feel it under his fingertips, and that was good enough for him.]
...I know you will. [Except... he doesn't know how to say that it doesn't really feel like there will be a when this time around.] Look after-- Allen for me, okay? It isn't fair that I did that to her and ha... h-have to go so soon...
Of course, yeah. I'll make sure that she has someone to support her. And I'll keep an eye out for the ferret, so that you can give him an earful when you come back. And I'll keep your brother distracted until you come back. Mr. Bitey, too, if you don't mind me not being the most civil person in the world.
[That earns Lavi a laugh, though it sounds wet and painful and just ends up with Allen lifting his other hand to feebly cover his mouth to keep the blood and bits of lung from spilling out of his mouth too badly. Still, after a moment he pulls his hand away from his mouth and grins.] Don't mind... 've already punched him for being him before... [But the grin fades, and he shifts to entwine their fingers together.] I-if I don't... if it doesn't bring me back, you'll watch out for her? [For his potential kid?]
[The answer seems to put him at ease a little bit, and another smile makes it's way onto Allen's face.]
Didn't want to leave that on you... But you're-- the only one I trust to do it.. [It's right around that moment that his fingers start shaking, and tears quickly well up in his eyes.] Y-you know, I... I really don't want to die... Not for real...
I know... I just have to wait. But... [Tugging Lavi's hand down with his own, so that he can hold Lavi's hand to his own cheek now.] S'scary though... I don't think I can see anymore already, and I can barely hear your heart...
Maybe I'll see my mum... [That's a nicer thought than most of them so far have been. He's missed his mum so much. There isn't really any resistance when Lavi closes his eyes, and the light hum he manages this time almost sounds a little bit normal.
But Allen's fingers are beginning to turn an oddly ashen grey color - and if he weren't wrapped in bandages, it would be obvious that the patches of skin and organ showing there have turned a similar shade.] You'll really stay..?
[Tightens his grip on Allen's hand, leaning closer so that his body is leaning up against Allen's. The more contact, the more secure he would feel, right]
[Allen lets out a soft sound at that, and sort of leans awkwardly in Lavi's direction - though most of his lower half doesn't seem to be moving anymore.] Ah... I can hear it now... [His heart.] Thanks...
[But his grip is already starting to go slack on Lavi's hand, the odd grayness spreading down his wrist to disappear under his sleeve - at the same time, though, it's drifting down over his face from his hairline, and up over his neck.] For everything... Thanks, Lavi. [A small smile tugs at his lips, just as the grayness spreads over his lips.] You know, I... I really did... love you.
[It's barely a moment later that Allen just... crumbles, slipping out from between Lavi's fingers and falling into a pile of silver-colored ashes on the couch.]
[Is motionless for a long while, just staring at where Allen used to be. His shakily pushes himself up to his feet, mind keeping itself occupied with a million other things except for the fact that Allen was gone. Like how he'd need to find a way to gather the ashes. And how he'd have to find an adobe clay urn to put them in. And how he'd had to find a courtyard filled with too many flowers and too much sunshine to make up for all the time Allen had missed]
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[It is somewhat of a comfort; Allen lets out a soft, slightly relieved sound, and tilts his head towards one of Lavi's hand. Though that might just be because there isn't any attention being paid to his torn apart abdomen anymore. He tries to lift a hand to Lavi's face, but it seems like he doesn't have the energy for it; his arm will only go up about halfway.]
...I don't want to. Do... don't think I have a choice, though... [He manages a small smile.] Sorry, Lavi... I really wanted to stay here with you.
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[Manages a shaky smile back]
I'll be waiting here when... [Because it's when, not if, damn it. This wasn't the last time he was going to see Allen] you come back.
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...I know you will. [Except... he doesn't know how to say that it doesn't really feel like there will be a when this time around.] Look after-- Allen for me, okay? It isn't fair that I did that to her and ha... h-have to go so soon...
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Of course, yeah. I'll make sure that she has someone to support her. And I'll keep an eye out for the ferret, so that you can give him an earful when you come back. And I'll keep your brother distracted until you come back. Mr. Bitey, too, if you don't mind me not being the most civil person in the world.
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Of course. I'll be Allen's crazy neighbor as long as she'll put up with me, yeah. And your child's crazy uncle.
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Didn't want to leave that on you... But you're-- the only one I trust to do it.. [It's right around that moment that his fingers start shaking, and tears quickly well up in his eyes.] Y-you know, I... I really don't want to die... Not for real...
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Dying is just another beginning, yeah. It's not like we won't ever see each other again.
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[Brushes his cheek lightly and moves his other hand to help close Allen's eyes]
Just close your eyes and feel. I'm right here. And I'm not leaving you.
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But Allen's fingers are beginning to turn an oddly ashen grey color - and if he weren't wrapped in bandages, it would be obvious that the patches of skin and organ showing there have turned a similar shade.] You'll really stay..?
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Of course. I could never leave you.
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[But his grip is already starting to go slack on Lavi's hand, the odd grayness spreading down his wrist to disappear under his sleeve - at the same time, though, it's drifting down over his face from his hairline, and up over his neck.] For everything... Thanks, Lavi. [A small smile tugs at his lips, just as the grayness spreads over his lips.] You know, I... I really did... love you.
[It's barely a moment later that Allen just... crumbles, slipping out from between Lavi's fingers and falling into a pile of silver-colored ashes on the couch.]
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I love you, too, Allen. Always will.
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