"So maybe it's true that I can't live without you. And maybe two is better than one."

[medicalambition]

Who: have2justbeme and medicalambition
What: Of old faces and scary shocks
Where: Mount Sinai Cancer Clinic
When: Monday morning

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[have2justbeme]

Leaning into her wife's embrace, Santana let her head come to rest against her shoulder for a moment. "I don't see how you do it, babe," Santana replied quietly, her heart aching at the thought of the pain that people were going through right down the hall from her. "Wow! Ohio? Really? What town? I knew a lot of gay guys back home... Spent most of the time there trying to out-bitch them... And failing miserably. I swear to God, gay man bitches make my bitchside look like a whiny little kid who didn't get her way."

It wasn't uncommon for their lunch dates to be postponed by a patient needing special attention, and Santana was just about to head over to take a seat in the waiting room when it hit her that the nurse had said the name, "Kurt." Surely it was just coincidence, that they had a gay male patient from Ohio, and a patient named Kurt. But still, the Latina couldn't help thinking that it was almost too much of a coincidence. A heavy unease settled into Santana's gut, and she just couldn't shake it, no matter how much logic was telling her that was near impossible

She sat in the waiting room quietly, picking at a thread in her slim pencil skirt. Seriously, if that were Kurt, and he were ill, wouldn't someone have told her? If no one else, at least Dave Karofsky, who she'd managed to stay in touch with. They'd been able to help each other through a lot of things, especially when Dave got help from a counselor whose advice Dave had been able to share with Santana. But if Dave knew Kurt was ill, he would've told her... At least she thought so.

[medicalambition]

The most over-reaching thing Ava noticed about Kurt, above all else, was that he was universally exhausted. There were times he could hardly even lift his head, and even sucking water through a straw seemed to take all the focus and the effort in the world. She ordered IV fluids for him before he even started the chemo, and now she was glad she pre-empted the necessity of them. Kurt was keeping anything down now, and she murmured some soothing apologies as she gave him another shot of a stronger medication to help try and ease the sickness. When there was a mumbled and weak request for some more painkillers too, Ava wished she could just give him a hug, but luckily hubby with those huge, expressive eyes filled with worry and pain was there to snuggle his arm around Kurt and do the best he could without hurting him more. The nurse took the used bag away and gave him a supply of fresh ones, and the husband request another heated blanket for Kurt when he started to shiver all over again.

It was about ten more minutes before Kurt managed to settle a little, and his eyes slipped closed in a restless doze, but at least he was asleep. Ava's heart clenched all over again when he watch Kurt's husband rest his head down on the pillow beside Kurt's and start to softly stroke his thumb back and forth across Kurt's cheek. For a split second then, Ava's mind wanted to play tricks on her, and she imagined her and Santana in that exact same position, and her stomach twisted. She hoped like hell she never had to watch her wife suffer like that. She told the nurse she was going to just take her lunch break down in the cafeteria so she was nearby and then stepped away from the bay with Kurt and Blaine. She was just heading back to the waiting area and spotted Santana sitting there when a guy matching the description of Kurt's dad Ava had gotten from the nurses and she paused to introduce herself to him, giving him a quick rundown of Kurt's current condition, and he looked crushed for a few moments, but seemed to pull himself together, thanked her, and headed over to his son and son-in-law. Ava watched for a moment, biting down on her lip, and then moved back on to her wife.

She held her hand out to Santana, and picked the conversation back up right where they left off. "They didn't say what town, it just came up in conversation when I mentioned you were from there. They got married again at Christmas here after the laws changed. Beautiful couple, but the husband's eyes are going to be the death of me. It's so sad, they both had the world at their feet, and now it's all come crashing down around them," she said with a soft sigh. "It's been one tragedy after another. Their story is heart-crushing."

[have2justbeme]

When her wife reappeared, Santana was about to stand up to go over to her, having firmly convinced herself that the Kurt in question couldn't be their Kurt. But that was when all her self-reassurances went out the window. Burt Hummel was standing there, talking to Ava. And a sick patient from Ohio, a patient named Kurt, and Burt Hummel right here on the oncology ward? Well, that was too much to chalk up to coincidence and Santana knew it. She swallowed hard, shaking her head as Ava made her way back over and she tried to remember how to stand on her legs again. It was as if there was a shift in her entire world, and Santana had no idea how she was going to handle that.

When Ava walked back over to her, Santana was standing up, but it felt like she was in a daze. She tried to listen to what Ava was saying, but all she was catching was words like sad and crashing, tragedy and heartcrushing, and before she knew it, she was shaking her head, putting her hands up in front of her. "His name's Kurt Hummel," she said. It wasn't a question or even a request for confirmation. It was the God's honest truth, and she knew it. "Your patient's name... He's..." It was as if Santana had forgotten her entire vocabulary, because she couldn't find the words to tell Ava what she was thinking, and her throat was tight, and her heart felt like someone had it in a blood pressure cuff and just kept pumping it tighter.

After just a second, she realized her legs seriously felt like jell-o, and she glanced over at her wife for a second before speaking. "I... I need to sit down for a minute..."

[medicalambition]

It was only after Ava finished speaking that the realised Santana looked pale and was looking at her with her mouth hanging open slightly. She actually looked like she had just seen a ghost, and Ava reached for her arm reflexively to make sure she was okay. She had looked perfectly fine when she first arrived, but now she really, really didn't. And then she was saying Kurt's full name, and Ava was sure she never mentioned the full name... even if he had a hyphenated surname now he was married. "Yes, that's..." she began in confusion, watching Santana with intent concern. "You know Kurt? Are you telling me he's from the same place in Ohio as you?"

As soon as Santana said she needed to sit down, Ava guided her back to the chair and sat down beside her. She took the lunch bag from her and put it on the vacant seat beside her should she could take Santana's hand into hers. "He is Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel-Anderson, actually. His husband is Blaine. You know them, but you didn't know he was sick, did you?" she guessed quietly, seeing the clear shock all over her wife's face. "Babe, do you want to see him? I... I wouldn't recommend it, but you can if you need to. He's just having a really bad day today. It might be too much for you to handle. He's been ill since before Christmas, sweetheart. He's fighting a tough battle..." She really didn't want to tell Santana it was the same form of cancer she lost her aunt to, but Santana wasn't stupid. Far from it. This was all an unknown quantity and Ava had no idea how Santana was going to respond to it all.

[have2justbeme]

Santana just nodded blankly, because words weren't cooperating, and her wife was there, holding onto her arm. The Latina was grateful for the way Ava's hand held her arm, because she was pretty sure that, without it, she would've completely lost her grip on reality, and the art of standing up, and fallen to the floor. The hand on her arm was her one link to reality when her brain had decided to go utterly nuts on her, and she reached with her own hand to cover Ava's, clinging to the link with the person who'd helped her through so many times that the whole world stopped making sense.

Another numb nod of her head was all she could manage as her wife helped her get over to a chair and sit down. "That... No, I didn't know... I... Last time I saw him, he and Blaine had broken up, and I was going to... To Mexico. Before I even met you. He was healthy and beautiful, and he was coming to New York City to pursue his dreams. But he always missed Blaine. You could see it." She stopped short and shook her head. "N... No, I don't want to see him right now. I... I need to..." she waved her hand around near her head to indicate that she needed to process the realization that Kurt was that sick before she thought she could be close to him and not fall to pieces. She raised her eyes to meet Ava's, and that was all it took before her arms were around her wife's neck, and her face buried in her shoulder so that no one could see her falling apart.

[medicalambition]

Ava had to think quick here, and unfortunately, she not only had to think like a concerned and caring wife, but also like a doctor who had her hands tied by doctor-patient confidentiality. She gave Santana's hand a firm squeeze but didn't immediately sit down beside her. "Just give me two minutes, sweetheart. Two minutes, and I'll be right back," she said and then quickly exited the waiting room to hurry back to the bay Kurt was occupying. She knew Santana was going to think she was mental, but hopefully she got back before she hit getting angry.

It was all of two minutes, too, and Ava was back, sitting down beside her wife and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I just had a quick word to Blaine. Don't get mad, but even though he was stunned, I explained who I was and my connection to you... and I asked if he minded me talking to you about Kurt's condition and their situation. I had to, babe. I'm sorry. I didn't think they would mind, but I had to make sure. He can't come out because Kurt needs him, but he said to tell you catch up with them sometime if you're able." She watched Santana closely and stroked her fingers through Santana's long hair. "Sweetie, the way I understand it from the small pieces of backstory they gave me, Blaine came back to the country for Kurt. A lot went down, but they reunited. Shortly after that, something horrible happened. Blaine was mugged in a cab here in New York and shot. He was nearly killed, and it put a lot of stress on Kurt and their family. But when he was in rehab, they decided to get married. It was the stress of all that, though, that we think masked Kurt's initial cancer symptoms. He was physically strained, but he just thought he was run down, no one was any the wiser until he fell sick a short while before Christmas. He thought it was a bad flu he couldn't shake, but his ex was a doctor and had a gut feeling something was wrong. He was correct, and Kurt was diagnosed with a pretty advanced cancer. He's been in chemo since, and it's been really hard on him. There was complications, and he's not long out of hospital with those. But... he's fighting, honey. He's fighting tough, and his latest test results show the cancer has stopped spreading and there's a reduction in the size of the tumours, so it's just a matter of continuing to fight tough."

[have2justbeme]

Santana didn't protest her wife's walking away, but she was a bit put off by the whole thing. But as a doctor's wife, Santana did know that there were HIPAA laws that had to be followed, or Ava could lose her job, or even her license. So she watched as her wife disappeared back down the hallway, torn between hoping that Ava could shed some light on things, and being irritated that her wife hadn't just stayed close to hold her right now.

But once Ava had returned, and was telling her the pieces of Blaine and Kurt's story that she knew, Santana could do nothing more than shake her head in shock. "N... No, Blaine and Kurt can't... Blaine was... He was shot? Who the fuck would shoot Blaine? I mean, seriously, he's the sweetest guy. He's so... innocent looking, I don't... I don't get it. And Kurt? Of all the people in the world who don't deserve something like this happening to them... Shit." She turned to Ava, suddenly at a complete and total loss. Which was saying something, considering that she had fallen in love with this woman over the fact that she could always talk to her. About anything, and Ava was always understanding and comforting. Of course they'd had their niggles along the way. Any couple would, especially a couple who cared as deeply about each other as the two of them did. But in the end, they had made it so far together, and neither of them had a giving-up bone in their bodies as far as their relationship went. With a sigh, Santana just let herself rest against Ava's side, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. "Does... Does Kurt look really bad?"